Dear Daughter,*
You were inside me.
I felt you kick.
I felt your heart beat.
I sang to you.
You became my only friend.
You supported me, kept me from hurting myself.
You were the only one I could trust to love me.
You came from my body.
I see your smile.
I hear your heartbeat.
I sing to you.
Your needs are all I concern myself with.
I care for you.
I hold you while you cry.
I kiss you, and cuddle you.
I will never let you hurt the way I have.
I will always love you, and never judge you.
You can trust me, because I can trust you.
You can love me, because I will always love you.
You can hate me, but it won't make a difference.
You are a part of me, because I felt you grow inside me.
You are my daughter, my world.
I will stay strong for you.
I will hold on to you.
Forever, you are my little girl.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Listening is a complex activity
But I can't help myself
From staring out this window
At the birds, the flowers and trees
Gently being guided by the wind
On a sweetly flavored day
Right on the tip of spring
Pushing the thoughts of winter
Far far away

I Am Lost.
I hurt all over again.
Because I cannot forgive.
I try, but I still resent those who stubbed me straight through the heart.
My Family.
My ex Lovers.
My Community.
I want to let it all go.

This is a prayer of my hurting, breaking and bleeding heart.
Help me.
Help me LET GO
Of all that cause my tears to soak my pillow most days.
Help me.
Teach Me.
To forgive.
To let go.
To Heal.

I need You.
I can't do asylums no MORE.
I Don't want to cut anymore.
Help Me Jesus.
I know you are out, up there somewhere.
Help  me.
Please.

©The Unspoken

Sometimes I can't stand the unbearable feeling of waking up and taking a look in the mirror.
It tells my story, tells my truths.
Screaming at me that I will never be truly beautiful.
The others around me seem apparent and use to the perfection around them and the perfection they hold.
It's a depressing thought to never be called something beautiful.
To be an ugly perfection.

But maybe it's not my mirror, but in fact the lies.
Maybe the mirror has disguised the internal beauty hidden inside,
Just waiting to bloom.

I look to the heavens as my thoughts create a chaos inside.
And incidentally I find a new mirror.
The sky is filled with clouds adorning the creative beauty.
But the remarkable thing isn't the beauty that the heavens hold,
But in fact the one who holds the sky.

You see, the sky and I have been made by the same Creator.
A Creator who has created beauty in everything.
Could it be that His glorious creation,
Could instead be my mirror?
And my ugly perfection,
Has turned into a beautiful perfection.

I remember those childhood days,
Before the clock sped up robbing us of our sweet spell.
Our love-it was real.
But oh how innocent it all was.

God granted us a childhood unlike others.
I experienced a love I wonder that could ever be compared to the future.
Your feelings, I never knew.
Could it be I was treasured?
Or was it only the vanity of my dreams?

I remember when nature was our friend,
And we'd go on adventures hand in hand.
I remember splashing by the stream,
And playing catch in the orchard.

I remember all of you.
I remember how your blue eyes sparkled when you smiled.
I remember how your whole body shook when you laughed.
I remember our first "hi" and our last "goodbye".

So much time has passed, and now you are gone.
The love I had for you won't vanish.
But I pray with all my might
That someone better than the person I could ever be,
Might love you the way you're supposed to be.

And maybe, possibly, that person could be me.