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543 · May 2012
Ha Ha (A Horrible Joke)
John May 2012
Ha ha
Ha ha ha
That's a good one
You're killing me here

Ha

It's just the way you said it
The way your face scrunched up
And the little frown at the end of the sentence
You really should look into comedy, you could make some money

Ha

It's your demeanor
And the way you carry yourself
You're a big goof and you can't do anything about it
You were born with a jumbled brain that denies everything but one liners

Ha ha ha ha

You make me sick though
My stomach turns when your mouth opens
I laugh but only because you'll never get the things inside me
I laugh but only because if I don't, then you'll ask what's wrong and then the cycle starts again

"What's wrong?"
Nothing.
"You sure?"
Of course.
"Okay, good."

Ha
Ha ha
What a joke
What a horrible joke
543 · Jan 2011
Summer Ice
John Jan 2011
Sitting, dreaming, wishing
Eyes closed
My heart is what I'm pushing
Leave the window open
For me to get through tonight
Call the reliever from the bullpen
Bring him in for the good fight
The good fight's all we know
And a good time's all we want
My apprehension's starting to show
As we float away, flying high
To the sky, to the stars tonight

Take the good with the bad
Let the ugly hang out
Not in the mood, such a drag
All the reason in the world to pout
But no need, honey
It, it won't make us any money
No, no, no, no...

Brandish the knife with a smile
Let the blood trickle low
Been walking for ******* miles
Looking for something to blow
But this town's been down
Since before I can remember
And we've been bummin' around
Since the bleak days of early December
We walk, mind so hazy
As we talk of the blasphemies
Our heads are getting lazy
Only a matter of time before  I can't see
The things, the things, the things
Laid out in front of me

All ever wanted was to be taken seriously
But all I ever got was down looks
And all I ever said was taken mildly
So in this muddled opera
I sing out to the sky in crisis
My feet planted firmly
For fear of slipping down the icey
The icey hills
Where I will
Spend the rest of my foreseen days
In the heat
The ice will refuse to melt
A hundred degrees
Breaking my legs on cold I've never felt
541 · Oct 2010
On This Day
John Oct 2010
On this day
I don't know what to feel
This Sunday
You're gonna pull your reel
But on this day
It's cold as the steel
Of the .45 caliber revolver
540 · May 2013
Not Cut Out for That
John May 2013
I don't want to run
I don't want to shoot
I don't want to run from the police
I don't want to loot
I don't want a gangster's life
I don't want to have to look over my shoulder at night

Growing up in the big city
Born of a family in the dirt
Never much money to anybody
But it seems none of my cousins really learned
But I'm not like them, I'm not about that
I never was keen of violence
Always hated hate and loved love
Never got how they all missed this
Never understood how they could want that kind of life

Because I'd be a *** on the street
Begging for a penny or two
Before I was to go out and hurt someone who didn't deserve it
Or trick someone into thinking something false
I don't like to deceive, I hate it
But do many people think it's right
Crime doesn't pay, you can't win
There's nothing to a life of sin
At the end if the day you're left with ****
Your hearts turned to an empty black pit
540 · Sep 2014
Chain, Catapult, Catharsis
John Sep 2014
Everyone is born
chained
to their own
personal mountain
of despair.

For, in suffering,
we learn
compassion.
We learn
gratitude.
We learn
to cope.

We are catapulted
from our comfortable
homes,
and into the pit
where we learn
the meaning
of
breathing.
539 · Jun 2013
Eyes to the Horizon
John Jun 2013
Remove my body
From the
Wreckage
Tell all
The papers
Who I am
Let it be
Known
I won't
Be
Beaten
Down
Buried with
Black flowers
And doused
In rotten
Stenches
I am
Here
And not
There
I am one
With
The ways
Of the
Winds
I bind
Them to my body
And fly
Up
Down
Up and
Out
You can't win
I won't
Lose
I can't
For the wind
Does not permit
Such
Atrocities
It gives me no
Other choice
But to
Get
Up
And continue
On
Heart beating
Blood
Pumping
Eyes
Set
On the
Horizon
John Jun 2013
Something's in the air between
The two of us
That God himself would be
Quite jealous of
Electric finger tips on my body
Bring me to life
Resucitate me
This dormant vessel of trife

We are what not anyone can repeat
Step in my door, looking for a treat
The way your cheeks glow so sweet
Never think twice about taking that leap
Look into my eyes, taking more than a peek
Would never tell you no, you're my flavor of every week

See, things were just fine
For those years you weren't mine
Took is as it came
Always took the blame
But thing's have got to change
Sometime, as goes the saying
I can only love you for so long
Before I'm so ******* gone

So gone, so gone
Won't look back, no
I wouldn't dare to
Would be sad to see you go
But I'm always ready for worst
While I've got eyes on the best
Holding you to my chest
But underneath
I've always got my bullet-proof vest
536 · Jul 2012
I Watched It Sink
John Jul 2012
A neatly packaged box sits on my doorstep
Contents include:
Broken promises
Things said and not done
A mind stuck in time
And a bomb made of regret and ****

I kicked the box around
Like a brand new ball
I threw it in the sewer
And watched it age and rot
I picked it out while I held my nose
And buckled it into the passenger seat of my car

I drove and drove
Until the streetlights glowed
Yellow and pink
The sun set like it told me it would
And so I proceeded to the edge of the dock

I hopped out and ran around to the passenger door
Opened it and unbuckled my box
Thought about staring at it for a while to ponder the whole ordeal but I decided
**** it
It seems like all I do is sit and think anyway

And so I threw the box
It made a splash
The water rippled away from the crash site
And soon
It sank
To the bottom
Of the ocean
John Jan 2013
I've been called
Super feminine
In my emotions
And my lack of apprehension
To express them
I don't know what it is
Why people are this way
Why can't it be just be imple enough
For people to feel comfortable to say what they mean?

I've been
Accused of being gay
Felt unmasculine
But for me there's no other way
To go about living
Without saying what I mean
Meaning what I feel
But it seems
People like me are far inbetween
The general population

However, I'll say this
I'm thankful for the time I live in
And for the people I know
For the places I've been
The things I've seen
Because I know this is what matters
And this is what makes me me
I wouldn't change a thing
I wouldn't eliminate a word said to my face
Because I know for a fact
A cold, hard fact
That all these things
All these amazing, wonderous, beautiful
And terrifying, horrific, disgusting
Things are all just pieces of the equation
My equation
Spilled directly from the heart. Don't exactly know why this came out of me now, but I felt like it was important for me to get it out there.
531 · Jun 2016
all fucked up
John Jun 2016
it was 5am and i detected distress
from your heart you emitted nothing less
you fell to the floor and looked into my eyes
i started to cry as you said your goodbyes
you told me to batten down my hatches & **** it up
but what you said left me with scratches & had me all ****** up
530 · Oct 2010
Open Me Up, Let Me Know
John Oct 2010
Never experienced pain so excruciating
Never swelled up so much
In my life, I'm debating
Whether to just jet or stand in for the weak ones

My head is filled with questions
And my brain is loaded with hate
Trying to stay optimistic
But the **** is just piling up, it's too late

No one knows what I know
No one sees what I do
My eyes are weak and worn
The blood's tracked in via my shoes

Now it's close to over
Now I'm **** close to done
Just gotta keep it together
Open me up and let me know when it's time for the real fun
530 · Apr 2013
"You just have to hold on."
John Apr 2013
She gazed out at the setting Sun through drooping eyelids and dripping lashes. She picked up a hand and wiped away the salt water, then looked to me. I turned my eyes from the horizon to her, barely able to twitch a half-hearted smile into permanently solemn expression. The wind blew, the trees bent with it as her hair danced behind her, gracing her head like a mother's loving hands.
"I wish things were different," I choked out. "I wish we could have a life."
She groped her eyes off of me and planted them firmly in the Earth.
"I know," she spoke. "I do too."
Then she looked up and back over the valley and hills toward the almighty setting light. My eyes followed hers and we stood there for what seemed like hours before I gained the strength to flick a finger out. I pushed it into her arm and then wrapped my hand around her wiry wrist. She was kind enough to offer a flickering smile; up and then gone like eraser shavings being blown off of a desk. I appreciated her attempt at gratitude, I knew how hard it was to even think about smiling in a time like this.
"I always wanted to run," she mumbled. "I thought that if, somehow, I ran long enough, far enough..."
Her voice was reduced with each word before she became inaudible.
"That if I could just get away. I could escape. Forever. And then everything would be right. Everything would make sense."
I looked down again and then lifted my arm, settling it over her narrow shoulders and cupping her shoulder with my palm.
"Things don't work like that," I say. "It's incredibly ******* disheartening, I know. But that's life."
She sighs gently, releasing air from her lungs through her nose in a miniscule huff.
"You just have to hold on," she says. And I smile. She's right. She's speaking the truth, as cold and hard as it is, but nonetheless the truth. She's admitted what has to be done. And that's enough to induce an almost enthusiastic look on my face.
"You're right. You're right," I blink. "That's just life."
John Oct 2012
Her daddy had eyes
Gleaming, red bullets
Only for her, only for her
He said, "Baby, I love you"
She nodded and smiled
But it took her a while

Her daddy came home one night
Eyes bloodshot and fingers trembling
He said, "I got into a fight"
And that he needed relieving
She looked at him softly
Her heart running a marathon
He looked at her hardly
And touched her gently

This was her life
She knew she had to go
Or he had to leave
Everything moving in slow-mo
She packed her things
Toothbrush and old clothes
She opened the door
He hit her and asked if she wanted more

She said, "No, no"
And he just smirked
She asked "Why?"
He held his head high
And said, with a sigh
"I ain't been right since your momma died."
526 · Dec 2012
Hard to Kill
John Dec 2012
You said your daddy named you
But you forgot his name
He picked up his briefcase
Hit and run was the name of his game
Said you hold no grudge's
But you taste the bitterness

Said your momma worked hard
Broke her back for bills
She raised you just right
After daddy headed for hills
Abandonment creates certain skills
You're so resilient, it gives me chills

Raised in a barn
Covered in chipping paint
Or brought up in a city
By well-off saints
Sometimes it sounds like ill-conceived complaints
But for you, you know that it's never too late

To find yourself
Amongst rotting ambitions and decisions
Armed with will and knowledge
And that trademark precision
You peel off layers of old abrasions
You know you're right when you get the sensation
525 · Sep 2014
My Dark, My Light
John Sep 2014
I've spent a lifetime
bathing in pools of sweat.
Thought you were my lifeline.
You prove me wrong again, and again.
My head spins as I slowly rise.
Always thought it would be different.
Used to call you "my prize".
But one thing I've never been is wise.

Constantly fooling myself left.
My body always throws me off track.
Veering around to the side I thought right.
Walking into white light that just goes black.

Listening to other people never did me much good.
Their words swim in my brain like vengeful parasites.
Influencing me to do things they think I should.
But everyone is selfish as the days turn to nights.
I've learned to find it in my to power through the ****.
Even as my Sun burns out, I still fight the fight.
Even as my everything falls deep down that pit.
Even as my darkness is eating all my light.
John Sep 2012
The boy sat
Quietly
Diligently turning
Page after page
Eyes focused on the text
And nothing else
He was ****** in
He was engaged
Everything around him was just a blur
The only thing real
Was the little square book
Gripped tightly
In his hands

A man walked into the room
The boy didn't notice him
So he moved closer
And closer
Until he was standing
Directly above
The boy
The boy still paid no mind
Still completely fixated on his reading material
Too distracted to care about
Anything else
"You shouldn't be reading that, you know."
And the boy looked up
Disoriented and confused
The boy raised an eyebrow, suspiciously

"And why shouldn't I?"
The man sighed
Crouched down
And looked the boy directly
In the eyes
And said with a certain frankness
"Because the author killed himself."
The boy smirked a little
A devious little smirk
And said
"Well, that's because he was crazy."

The man nodded
And smiled
And wrinkled his mouth into a little
Slit
And said
"Maybe. But he wasn't always that way.
Don't you do your research?"
The boy was starting to get
Annoyed
He shook his head
"Of course I did. But he's a great author.
Are you trying to say I shouldn't read this because the man who wrote it
Took his
Own life?"
And the man smiled a little more
"No, no. That's not it.
I just don't think it's the healthiest thing to read is all."
And the man stood up

"Well I feel fine.
If you don't mind, I think I'm going to
Get back to reading, thanks."
And the boy averted his eyes
Back to his story
But the man wasn't finished
"You're only on page forty-three."
He said
"It took the author
The the end
Of the story
To gain his courage
And find the trigger."
And then he shut his mouth
Turned around
And walked out of the room
Leaving the boy
His book
And the story
Alone
523 · May 2012
Fetal/Feral
John May 2012
The prodigal son
The one
Who came back
After the black smoke
Cleared

In the shadow
Of the still night
Stood a broken boy
Slowly crumbling
Fetal
On the inside
Feral
On the out

Together
With muscles sore
And heart broken
The big combo
Of death in the slow lane

Read between the lines
And you'll find nothing
Until you look hard enough
And you finally realize
Looking too hard
Makes your eyes hurt
John Sep 2014
Greet the morning weather.
Rain or shine, you will see.
Float like a feather,
and bend at the knee.
John May 2012
A few words
From your mouth
to my ears
Makes it true
All things must pass

And when the time
Comes around the corner
My mind defrosts
And I know
You know I'm right

The melancholy
And the sad
And the lonely
Never make me mad
I just wait for the time

Wait for when
The time is right
When the clock ticks
Through the night
It isn't that hard

You're just very impatient
When I feel your anxiety
I get nervous too
But I just say to myself
All things must
And do
Pass
John Oct 2012
Scratch out the time and throw away your watch
Etch off the very conception of how things come and go
For this is the way it is now and this is eternal
This will be forever, our desires being perpetual and infernal
Everyone elses little heads, little existence as important as a popcorn kernal

I promise you this, yes and I promise you that
The truth is that I don't know what the truth is
I can't tell you how things will be tomorrow or the next day
I can't say anything important until I know you're feelings are no longer at bay
The only thing I can do is say that you will know the truth and so will I if we both decide to stay

So just stay here, locked in my cold arms
For the winter is back and it shows no mercy
The nights are frozen and, at times, grim but the snow is beautiful
We might be closest when we are horizontal but the aim is always vertical
Up in the air and the sky and along with the wind
John Sep 2014
Now I don't
know why,
can't explain
it.
It's like this
feeling inside me
that grows with
each passing day.
Gradually and surely
increasing in intensity
until
                                           splat!

Brain's on the
                                                                ­                                                         wall.
The red
really complements
the green
paint.
It looks like
Christmas
only a little
more ******
up.
518 · Aug 2013
Soft Work
John Aug 2013
Just out to soak it in
Waves crash under the moon
Waiting for it to begin
As I reach out, my palm's sweat
You do to me what they've talked about
Since the first person said "I want you"
I just want to take you out
I just want you to feel it too
I just want you to feel it too

Electricity bouncing off of frayed wires
Dancing in the air and dissipating
My head hurts but I'm a liar
Everything's just been dark and fading
I know this feeling won't last long
But I'm just so ******* tired of waiting
And it's only been a little while
514 · Oct 2012
Emotional Vampire Part 1
John Oct 2012
I walk on silent streets
Coated with invisible blood
But with each step I take
And every tree I shake
I just can't scratch the image out of my of mind of that stake

It's do or be done
I have to stand up or be thrown down
Sifting through smiles and stares
Looking for the one who's fair
The one with bright eyes and long, healthy hair

Searching for companionship
In a world where I'm meant to be alone
I have no issue with walking and talking to myself
But no matter who you are, you can always use a little help
A pair of eyes to see me and some ears to listen to the pain I've felt
514 · Jun 2013
Severance
John Jun 2013
In nature
How the river flows
No rapture
A flower dies and it grows
Trust in my words
When I don't know what I'm saying
Trust is for the birds
As they touch clouds, they're flying

As is life, as are you
People come and go
You love me and I loved you
I would've done whatever you said so
I'm just another one of those people
Now I'm a ghost and more than before
Now you're weakening and growing more feeble
I gave you so much, now I'm gone and you want more

So this is me
And this is you
What to be
What to do
I'm set on go
And you're stuck on me
You never thought
You'd be so lonely
So you say
But you hold back
You always hold back
513 · Dec 2012
Murder House
John Dec 2012
There is a house that sits high on a hill, downtown
Shrubbery and vines are the open arms that welcome anyone who passes
And when they do, they're always sent away with cold bones and blood
A fitting departure package

No one knows exactly what went on in that house
Tales of violence, ****, lies and unholy rituals plague the stories
But there is no record, no way of knowing for sure
A crimson question-mark

Forever, it seems, the house will sit ominously on that hill
Eyes and ears, always curious, will direct themselves to it
Curiousity kills, so they say, but one day someone will be brave enough
A stupid someone

When that poor soul decides they're ready to step inside
After years or so of morbid fascination and research that amounts to seemingly nothing
They will open the door and close it behind them
And no one will ever see them again
I've been a huge fan of the F/X show *American Horror Story* since pretty much it's inception. I've recently become re-obsessed with it (the new season just might be better than the first, which is saying a **lot**) and I just received the first season as an early Xmas gift. This poem was inspired by the first season of the show.
John May 2012
Sitting in the back of a stretch limo
Guilt runs rings around my skull
My head hung down so low
All that comes to mind is your echo

Things come together and fall apart
Bitter routine runs the world
Everyone smiles and grits the pain
But no one escapes the slow scars

And in the back of my mind
Thoughts swirl and mix
Producing iridescent jumble
Voluntarily hold the bucket still and kick
John May 2012
To the bitter end
From the burnt beginning
Photographs covered in blood
Reminders of the spoils of winning
Leaving it all behind
Regrets only real in your head
The truth is all in your mind
Turning it over and out in your bed

Some things only seem real in hindsight
And others only in the moment
Events only palatable after the fact
Places where we all feel the same atonement
And look back realizing everything was ******
Knowing nothing can change what's happened
But find solace in that the future is mendable
Gasping to grip the message in the bottle...
And cap it
510 · Feb 2014
My Mind
John Feb 2014
The way you talk to me reminds me
It brings to the front of my mind how
I used to be when everybody and everything
Were doused in that acid washed black and white
You really make those feelings wash ashore
In a part if me I never knew was there
Like the colors no one can see

So don't stop no don't stop tonight
There'd be no reason to put up a fight
But I'm going to I'm going to try
Because I love it when you pretend to cry
I hate to see you cry, because I'm always the one to die

Selfish thoughts are the fuel of the lonely mariner
Sailing seas blinded by the light of the carrier
That holds his child clutched tightly in arm
And the memories of childhood on grandpa's farm
Oh how the flashes get clearer and eyes get tired
The seas get chaotic the more you become hard wired
So step away, take a long and hard look
Look away and know that everyone is born a crook
510 · Nov 2017
I Ceased to Believe I Exist
John Nov 2017
I ceased to believe I exist
On a plane so devoid of bliss
For with every forthright step
And each grasp of reality I get
I sink like a ship, just a blip
On your radar, I've been hit
Mayday, mayday for someday
Maybe I will find myself able to stay
But, for now, I'm shuffling, stumbling
Through thick trees and weathering the rumbling
From the grazed grounds beneath me
The Sun, before me, merely setting
And I find myself wishing, wondering
Where it is I am actually heading.
509 · Jan 2014
Do You Count?
John Jan 2014
Did you have a good life when you died?
One worthy of countless reproductions?
Did they make a film dedicated to your memory?
Did it begin with your first hallowed breath?
And end with your satisfied huff?
Did they cast a guy one hundred times better looking than you?
To play the character... Of you?

If not, then what were you doing?
Your whole life, gone, and they didn't even consider a film version of your first birthday?
Did anyone even know your name?
Did anyone even give a ******* were in the same room?
Did they know your middle name?
Why wouldn't they?
It's too bad because it could've been great
It really could have been a good one
A good life
But no
I don't know what you did with it
But now it's gone
****
Zap
Done

You're dead
508 · Nov 2016
burned by the sun
John Nov 2016
close the door
hit the floor
you want more
but i'm giving you all that i have

you were mystical
like a myth to me
something magical
you filled up all that i could see

but then it was done
yeah, we had our fun
made me feel like i was the only one
the two of us bathing, burning in the sun
507 · Oct 2010
Dark Cycles
John Oct 2010
The wind blows us over
The ocean throws us out and pulls us in
The seagulls let us know their there
With their reminiscing in search of life

We float about among the salty water
Eyes burning, we try to watch eachother amongst the blue and black and green
Our vision is hazy but we both know the other is there
Watching, waiting, swaying


Back to go again
507 · Jul 2013
Thundertongue
John Jul 2013
Shimmy on down to the floor
The space between my eyes and your body
Never really becomes all that far
Waltz on closer, babe, it's time for a run
Down the block, keep your locks locked
Because we're gonna have some fun

They said you were fast but whoa
I never expected this
Like a bolt of lightning, honey you're so frightening
All I wanted was a kiss
No, I never, I never expected this

I got the feeling that you
You were an idealist
By just the way your hips move
You could make the Dean's List
With that mouth of yours, you can do wonders
Nobody talks like you, they just dribble out words
Compared to the way your tongue thunders
507 · Oct 2012
Coming and Going
John Oct 2012
Going with the flow
Moving with the sway of the trees in the wind
Coming in and going out
Washing up and washing out like the foam-tipped tide
Go with the flow

Whatever comes, comes
Whatever wants to leave, I let
I don't fight because fighting is pointless
I try not to stress because everything passes

Saying what I mean
Whatever comes to my head
Writing what I want
Whatever I think needs to be said

Living this way is the best thing I can do
I can't try to be better than what I already am
Everything comes easy when you let it go gently
And nothing is difficult if you don't make it so
Go with the flow
John Jan 2013
There is a place
Deep in the woods on the
Outskirts of town
So deep, in fact
Not even many hunters
Go that far
When searching
For their next ****
It's simply too far in to go
If you don't plan on spending the night there
Because once you arrive
The air is usually thicker
And the Sun is usually set
The Moon already looming over you

But legend has it
That if you do dare
To go that far
What you find may be of
Great importance
To you
Or to someone you know
It will
Without a doubt change your life
Your world
And how you perceive it
Supposedly

The nature of what exactly
It is
Is up for debate
Some say its a well
And the water inside of it
If you're brave enough to scale the walls
All the way down
And drink some of the water
It may have a certain Fountain of Youth effect
If you will
On you or anyone who does this

Still, others say
To get to this well
You have to get there in one piece
Still breathing
You can't already be dead and then go looking for a **** Fountain of Youth, can you?
No, that pretty much excludes you from the whole effect
Anyway, it's a supposedly dangerous path
The trees might suddenly start closing in
As the volume of shrubbery gets thicker and thicker
The branches may take on a life of their own
And direct all their attention to you
Clawing and scratching
Until your bleeding all over
But that's not the least of it

Once a drop of blood is spilt
Just one tiny drop is all it takes
That's when she picks up on you
She lives in a house
The house in which the well is located
In the basement
But when she senses you're near
You're pretty much ******
She waits
And waits
And waits
Nostrils flaring
For you to either turn around and leave
Or to continue on
Towards her home

She has black eyes
Like her pupils have dilated to the point
That they overrides any color that was once there
If there ever was any color
She has black hair
That extends probably to around her waist
And mostly obscures her ****** features
There's no real way of telling
If she's an old woman
Or a young lady
Her hair scraggly
But that's probably due to a lack of bathing
Not age
And she's supposedly not such an ugly woman
When she chooses not to be
Her motives make her features morph
Her hair seems to grow
Her eyes intensify
The darkness within seeming to spill into the air around you

I don't know
I don't know if I believe it
I mean, it sounds like a bunch of ******* to me
Whoever made this up must've had a ton if time on their hands
But people believe this crap
They actually think a woman lives in the woods
With trees that seemingly come alive if you go too deep
And with a well in the basement of her house
That will magically have you live in forever

I don't know about you
But I think I want to try to hike there
Soon
If there even is a "there"
If only to prove all these lunatics wrong
Wish me luck
John May 2012
She has short black hair
And ocean green eyes
She stands just a little bit shorter than I
And alway bends her legs at the knee
When we dance to Sinatra

Her face is clean and clear
Like a glass of water fetched straight from the spring
Her ears are small and elegant
Like a pinky finger that's allowed to stick out
While the rest of the fingers hold a cup of tea

Her eyes
With that beautiful, almost unnatural coloring
Are also big
Bright
And when they open
They don't just let her see
But they let everyone in the room
Know that there is indeed a light

And such a thing as a gift that keeps on giving
John Aug 2013
Awaking
To the thought of your face
Sleeping
With your heart in my heart's place
Dreaming
Of your hand in mine
Wishing
That you just had the time

You tell me that you're happy
And you're not willing to compromise
You made it clear that you're good
And I've made a point to tell you I wish you were mine
I wish we were "us" and I hope that we will
One day walk into the light and let it all fill
The spaces in my chest where love used to dwell
John Dec 2012
Beauty
Only skin deep
So they say

But how *deep
is skin?
I think it's pretty inaccurate to describe skin as deep
More of a measure of thickness, no?

So, I'm sure we all know that skin
Skin isn't so thick
Think about it, just a ***** of a pin and we're giving the walls a fresh coat of paint
Our own brand of paint
Made in a unique way
That only each one of us knows how to make

With that out of the way
Beauty
We've established is only skin thick
Deep
Is for oceans or rivers or ponds or puddles
Beauty
However
Beauty
Is special

On second thought
I take back my previous statement
Yes, deep is no way to describe beauty
But neither is thick
That's a rather horrible adjective when you think about it
Nothing that's thick is usually pleasant
Therefore, it probably wouldn't be suitable when discussing beauty

Again
Beauty
Mulling it over now
Beauty
Again
It doesn't surprise me
That it's taking me so long to come up with something
Because when you have a word
That is supposed to be used to describe something... someone
To encapsulate that thing or that person
It honestly, truly, adamently
Never does it/he/she justice
Beauty
A nice word, I admit
Not sure if it's because of it's connotations
And what it represents in the world
Or just the way it flows from the throat
To the lips
But
On a scale of something beautiful
To something breathtakingly
Heartstoppingly
Lung-haltingly
Beautiful
I just don't think it works
504 · Aug 2014
10 Decisions
John Aug 2014
Ten decisions
Plague
You're right
One incision
Late
You're tight
And you're in it
Bait
The sight
To see it
Wait
And                   Sunlight
503 · Jan 2013
You Wake Up in a Room
John Jan 2013
You wake up in a room
It's not your room
Nor is it any room
You've seen before
Not in reality, not in your dreams
Not in your nightmares

You look around
Dazed as can be
Trying to rub the sleep
From your eyes
And you notice the paint on the wall
Is chipping
Then the smell hits you
It's not all that offensive
It's that stale, moldy odor
That you encounter when you enter
Your grandparents' attic
Like the room doesn't see many visitors

You hoist yourself to your feet
And you notice there is no door
No windows
The only light
Comes from a flickering light bulb
Dangling from the ceiling
With each swing the light flickers
And in one instant when it is illuminated
You notice something on the wall that your back was facing
When you woke up
You move a little bit closer
Slowly stepping, creaking on the wooden floorboards below you
And realize that it's writing

"What do you plan to do with the life you've been given?"

You take a step back
Confused and disoriented
And start to scream
Cry for help
But all the noise you make seems to bounce off the four walls
And come crashing, louder than you could imagine
Back into your own eardrums
502 · Dec 2012
Belle de Jour
John Dec 2012
Her work is never done
But are her ways intentional?
Compensation seems synonymous with question marks
With smoky wishes and a fogged past
All smiles with poison in her glass

One thing I know for sure
She does choose her battles
Whether it is done wisely
Is up for interpretation
Her energy, forever driven by sensation
502 · Jun 2013
Ayn Rand
John Jun 2013
I am a being
My own self
I
Myself
Am
Being
Who I am
Who I be
Dusty paths, ***** roads, choices
Choices
Choices
I've known no guilt
I've felt no pain
Progress sometimes becomes
Disturbed
But my rivers
Still flow
My waters
Still fall
My rain
Still pats your roofs
Your head
Under your feet
You don't know that you
Know it
But you feel it
Your body knows it
Your heart beats to it
To the sound
Of my own
Feet
My own
Heart
In synch
With what you aren't yet ready
To admit
To notice
To be true to youself, concerning
The questions
The words
The thoughts
It isn't
Who will let me?
But it is
*Who is going to stop me now?
John Feb 2014
I will rob you of your vitality
I am not your spirit tutelary
Crush your bones and eat your heart
You were wrong from the start
Should've heard your mothers words
Shouldn't have fell in with the rest of the herd

I'm talking to you
The one who thought he won
Let these words stick like glue
You were just in it for the fun
it's time to open your ******* eyes

People have died yeah they're already gone
But you you're still here breathing next to me
What? What the **** makes you better? What the **** are you on?
Just step your ego to the side and just give yourself a chance to see
So many people claim to be open and accepting
But at the end of the road their brains are nothing but alocked doors

There lies a stillness inside each of us
And you can reach the valley if you just **** the fuss
Nothing is accomplished through force and just stays
For the rage that feeds on this,  
upon the highest perch lays
So clench your fists tightly and open them up again
Slowly you'll learn that your voice hasn't been sent - yet
John Jun 2016
**** everything, lets just listen and lay here
stop talking and listen to the sobs in the cheers
you used to jump on me so fast
but all that fun never lasts
then i saw you walking with him
and my light grew dim

you never made yourself out to be
what you really are, just like me
and i hate that, i really resent it
i can't take that, i couldn't recommend it
the reasons why we were washed ashore together
are getting clearer as the maybes turn to nevers
499 · Jun 2013
I Know
John Jun 2013
Lonely, lonely, lonely
If only, if only
They'd know me, know me
Lonely, lonely, lonely

Don't get
What it takes
Might have
High stakes
They don't
Know how
I won't
Bow down

If you don't
Take the time
I don't
Have to whine
You know
How I do it
I know
How you lose it
You're gone, gone, gone
And I'm still here
Silently turned on, on
Cheers

Whoa-oh-oh
I don't have to go
But I can if I feel threatened
This lonely love is never lessened
By the sound of your breath
By the heat of the night
And the notion of peaceful rest
I won't try to fight
Because it's done, done, done
499 · Feb 2012
The Woman in Black
John Feb 2012
She comes around
When the sun goes down
She only shows herself
When Heaven goes to Hell

The moon glows bright
As you clamp your fist tight
Your anxieties don't deceive
She wants you to leave

And if you ignore the signal
Or forget the words to your hymnal
Do not dare to look back
For behind you will stand The Woman... In Black
499 · Aug 2012
...and the sky was blue
John Aug 2012
Things don't seem so dark no more
The light's been slowly making it's way
Into my heart, into my soul
I can't help but think that I've paid my way
Learning and loving, giving and taking
I've still got a lot to learn
But I'm no longer shaking

I noticed when my hands stopped trembling
Things were looking up... and the sky was blue
Things come together
And I know it's true
The proof is before my eyes
The proof is in your heart
The truth is in the skies
The truth stays the same... when lies fall apart
498 · Jun 2013
About, Off, Away
John Jun 2013
Squandering
Scowering
Squealing
Scattering
About

Reaching
Roarin­g
Rattling
Roaming
Off

Waiting
Wishing
Wondering
Wittling
Away
497 · Dec 2012
Nothing Here is Beautiful
John Dec 2012
Walking the big red carpet
Between love and hate
Blowing kisses, granting wishes
All the money in the world but I still pay my bills late
Too good for bad, too bad for good
I know that I should try to settle but I wouldn't if I could

Take me to the moon
Because nothing here is beautiful
Offer me your heart made of wood
So I can chop it with my glistening axe handle
Nothing, no, nothing, no
Nothing is good enough

They all say that love is a hunter
It'll track you down and put holes in your dress
But I've had too many run ins with Cupid
To ever think he could make a masterpiece of this mess
So baby, hold me close and tell me I'm the one
Because I've given up, baby, I'm so done
I'm a huge Lana Del Rey fan and thought it would be interesting to try to write something in homage to her music.
496 · Jul 2011
Cool Nite (Breeze)
John Jul 2011
Walking around, no car, just a few bottles/
The air's crisp as her heart/
We take a seat by the school and the blue and red lights startle/
We pack it in and hoof it, my favorite part/
Though, is when she takes my hand/
My clammy palms pressed against her smooth ones/
My fantasies fulfilled, spilling through my brain like sand/
The cops can do what they will but they will never bring down my fun/
Tonight/
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