The prodigal son
The one
Who came back
After the black smoke
Cleared

In the shadow
Of the still night
Stood a broken boy
Slowly crumbling
Fetal
On the inside
Feral
On the out

Together
With muscles sore
And heart broken
The big combo
Of death in the slow lane

Read between the lines
And you'll find nothing
Until you look hard enough
And you finally realize
Looking too hard
Makes your eyes hurt

The pitter-patter of words
From the next room
As the rain comes down
Outside
From the rooftops you can see
For miles
Getting soaked is worth
The price
Of getting out

The gentle exchange
Escalates
Climbing the ladder
Of fear and confusion
Footsteps begin to take the reigns
Heading for the door
And that's when the initiative kicks in
Just as the doorknob's touched
The back door is flung open
And outsteps the man
You thought you knew

On the way
On his way
Out
To the place
Where your eyes
Where your ears
Are free

Filmic landscape
Black night
Lit only
By weak streetlights

Stroll into frame
Lend me your hand
This isn't for fame
While times slips like sand

Through fingers
With a rough skin
Nothing catches on
Quite like a kick in the shin

The boy sat
Quietly
Diligently turning
Page after page
Eyes focused on the text
And nothing else
He was ****** in
He was engaged
Everything around him was just a blur
The only thing real
Was the little square book
Gripped tightly
In his hands

A man walked into the room
The boy didn't notice him
So he moved closer
And closer
Until he was standing
Directly above
The boy
The boy still paid no mind
Still completely fixated on his reading material
Too distracted to care about
Anything else
"You shouldn't be reading that, you know."
And the boy looked up
Disoriented and confused
The boy raised an eyebrow, suspiciously

"And why shouldn't I?"
The man sighed
Crouched down
And looked the boy directly
In the eyes
And said with a certain frankness
"Because the author killed himself."
The boy smirked a little
A devious little smirk
And said
"Well, that's because he was crazy."

The man nodded
And smiled
And wrinkled his mouth into a little
Slit
And said
"Maybe. But he wasn't always that way.
Don't you do your research?"
The boy was starting to get
Annoyed
He shook his head
"Of course I did. But he's a great author.
Are you trying to say I shouldn't read this because the man who wrote it
Took his
Own life?"
And the man smiled a little more
"No, no. That's not it.
I just don't think it's the healthiest thing to read is all."
And the man stood up

"Well I feel fine.
If you don't mind, I think I'm going to
Get back to reading, thanks."
And the boy averted his eyes
Back to his story
But the man wasn't finished
"You're only on page forty-three."
He said
"It took the author
The the end
Of the story
To gain his courage
And find the trigger."
And then he shut his mouth
Turned around
And walked out of the room
Leaving the boy
His book
And the story
Alone

Now I don't
know why,
can't explain
it.
It's like this
feeling inside me
that grows with
each passing day.
Gradually and surely
increasing in intensity
until
                                           splat!

Brain's on the
                                                                ­                                                         wall.
The red
really complements
the green
paint.
It looks like
Christmas
only a little
more ******
up.

Greet the morning weather.
Rain or shine, you will see.
Float like a feather,
and bend at the knee.

There is a house that sits high on a hill, downtown
Shrubbery and vines are the open arms that welcome anyone who passes
And when they do, they're always sent away with cold bones and blood
A fitting departure package

No one knows exactly what went on in that house
Tales of violence, ****, lies and unholy rituals plague the stories
But there is no record, no way of knowing for sure
A crimson question-mark

Forever, it seems, the house will sit ominously on that hill
Eyes and ears, always curious, will direct themselves to it
Curiousity kills, so they say, but one day someone will be brave enough
A stupid someone

When that poor soul decides they're ready to step inside
After years or so of morbid fascination and research that amounts to seemingly nothing
They will open the door and close it behind them
And no one will ever see them again

On this day
I don't know what to feel
This Sunday
You're gonna pull your reel
But on this day
It's cold as the steel
Of the .45 caliber revolver

Sitting in the back of a stretch limo
Guilt runs rings around my skull
My head hung down so low
All that comes to mind is your echo

Things come together and fall apart
Bitter routine runs the world
Everyone smiles and grits the pain
But no one escapes the slow scars

And in the back of my mind
Thoughts swirl and mix
Producing iridescent jumble
Voluntarily hold the bucket still and kick

I've spent a lifetime
bathing in pools of sweat.
Thought you were my lifeline.
You prove me wrong again, and again.
My head spins as I slowly rise.
Always thought it would be different.
Used to call you "my prize".
But one thing I've never been is wise.

Constantly fooling myself left.
My body always throws me off track.
Veering around to the side I thought right.
Walking into white light that just goes black.

Listening to other people never did me much good.
Their words swim in my brain like vengeful parasites.
Influencing me to do things they think I should.
But everyone is selfish as the days turn to nights.
I've learned to find it in my to power through the ****.
Even as my Sun burns out, I still fight the fight.
Even as my everything falls deep down that pit.
Even as my darkness is eating all my light.

Just out to soak it in
Waves crash under the moon
Waiting for it to begin
As I reach out, my palm's sweat
You do to me what they've talked about
Since the first person said "I want you"
I just want to take you out
I just want you to feel it too
I just want you to feel it too

Electricity bouncing off of frayed wires
Dancing in the air and dissipating
My head hurts but I'm a liar
Everything's just been dark and fading
I know this feeling won't last long
But I'm just so ******* tired of waiting
And it's only been a little while

Shimmy on down to the floor
The space between my eyes and your body
Never really becomes all that far
Waltz on closer, babe, it's time for a run
Down the block, keep your locks locked
Because we're gonna have some fun

They said you were fast but whoa
I never expected this
Like a bolt of lightning, honey you're so frightening
All I wanted was a kiss
No, I never, I never expected this

I got the feeling that you
You were an idealist
By just the way your hips move
You could make the Dean's List
With that mouth of yours, you can do wonders
Nobody talks like you, they just dribble out words
Compared to the way your tongue thunders

She has short black hair
And ocean green eyes
She stands just a little bit shorter than I
And alway bends her legs at the knee
When we dance to Sinatra

Her face is clean and clear
Like a glass of water fetched straight from the spring
Her ears are small and elegant
Like a pinky finger that's allowed to stick out
While the rest of the fingers hold a cup of tea

Her eyes
With that beautiful, almost unnatural coloring
Are also big
Bright
And when they open
They don't just let her see
But they let everyone in the room
Know that there is indeed a light

And such a thing as a gift that keeps on giving

There is a place
Deep in the woods on the
Outskirts of town
So deep, in fact
Not even many hunters
Go that far
When searching
For their next ****
It's simply too far in to go
If you don't plan on spending the night there
Because once you arrive
The air is usually thicker
And the Sun is usually set
The Moon already looming over you

But legend has it
That if you do dare
To go that far
What you find may be of
Great importance
To you
Or to someone you know
It will
Without a doubt change your life
Your world
And how you perceive it
Supposedly

The nature of what exactly
It is
Is up for debate
Some say its a well
And the water inside of it
If you're brave enough to scale the walls
All the way down
And drink some of the water
It may have a certain Fountain of Youth effect
If you will
On you or anyone who does this

Still, others say
To get to this well
You have to get there in one piece
Still breathing
You can't already be dead and then go looking for a **** Fountain of Youth, can you?
No, that pretty much excludes you from the whole effect
Anyway, it's a supposedly dangerous path
The trees might suddenly start closing in
As the volume of shrubbery gets thicker and thicker
The branches may take on a life of their own
And direct all their attention to you
Clawing and scratching
Until your bleeding all over
But that's not the least of it

Once a drop of blood is spilt
Just one tiny drop is all it takes
That's when she picks up on you
She lives in a house
The house in which the well is located
In the basement
But when she senses you're near
You're pretty much ******
She waits
And waits
And waits
Nostrils flaring
For you to either turn around and leave
Or to continue on
Towards her home

She has black eyes
Like her pupils have dilated to the point
That they overrides any color that was once there
If there ever was any color
She has black hair
That extends probably to around her waist
And mostly obscures her ****** features
There's no real way of telling
If she's an old woman
Or a young lady
Her hair scraggly
But that's probably due to a lack of bathing
Not age
And she's supposedly not such an ugly woman
When she chooses not to be
Her motives make her features morph
Her hair seems to grow
Her eyes intensify
The darkness within seeming to spill into the air around you

I don't know
I don't know if I believe it
I mean, it sounds like a bunch of ******* to me
Whoever made this up must've had a ton if time on their hands
But people believe this crap
They actually think a woman lives in the woods
With trees that seemingly come alive if you go too deep
And with a well in the basement of her house
That will magically have you live in forever

I don't know about you
But I think I want to try to hike there
Soon
If there even is a "there"
If only to prove all these lunatics wrong
Wish me luck

Every time
I see you
It's like a wake up call
To the facts
To that I'm not so special
To the truth
The sobering reality
That no matter how much I like you
No matter that
To put it frankly
I might even say I love you
That my feelings are true
Truer than any other emotions along the same lines
I've ever had
But in the end
Every time
Every single ******* time
My insides sink
Like the Titanic
I hit a massive bulk of hard, frozen ice
In my heart
And what floats to the surface
Is balloon poppingly
Blood drainingly
Horrifyingly
Empty

Every time

Sitting, dreaming, wishing
Eyes closed
My heart is what I'm pushing
Leave the window open
For me to get through tonight
Call the reliever from the bullpen
Bring him in for the good fight
The good fight's all we know
And a good time's all we want
My apprehension's starting to show
As we float away, flying high
To the sky, to the stars tonight

Take the good with the bad
Let the ugly hang out
Not in the mood, such a drag
All the reason in the world to pout
But no need, honey
It, it won't make us any money
No, no, no, no...

Brandish the knife with a smile
Let the blood trickle low
Been walking for ******* miles
Looking for something to blow
But this town's been down
Since before I can remember
And we've been bummin' around
Since the bleak days of early December
We walk, mind so hazy
As we talk of the blasphemies
Our heads are getting lazy
Only a matter of time before  I can't see
The things, the things, the things
Laid out in front of me

All ever wanted was to be taken seriously
But all I ever got was down looks
And all I ever said was taken mildly
So in this muddled opera
I sing out to the sky in crisis
My feet planted firmly
For fear of slipping down the icey
The icey hills
Where I will
Spend the rest of my foreseen days
In the heat
The ice will refuse to melt
A hundred degrees
Breaking my legs on cold I've never felt

The way you talk to me reminds me
It brings to the front of my mind how
I used to be when everybody and everything
Were doused in that acid washed black and white
You really make those feelings wash ashore
In a part if me I never knew was there
Like the colors no one can see

So don't stop no don't stop tonight
There'd be no reason to put up a fight
But I'm going to I'm going to try
Because I love it when you pretend to cry
I hate to see you cry, because I'm always the one to die

Selfish thoughts are the fuel of the lonely mariner
Sailing seas blinded by the light of the carrier
That holds his child clutched tightly in arm
And the memories of childhood on grandpa's farm
Oh how the flashes get clearer and eyes get tired
The seas get chaotic the more you become hard wired
So step away, take a long and hard look
Look away and know that everyone is born a crook

She comes around
When the sun goes down
She only shows herself
When Heaven goes to Hell

The moon glows bright
As you clamp your fist tight
Your anxieties don't deceive
She wants you to leave

And if you ignore the signal
Or forget the words to your hymnal
Do not dare to look back
For behind you will stand The Woman... In Black

it was 5am and i detected distress
from your heart you emitted nothing less
you fell to the floor and looked into my eyes
i started to cry as you said your goodbyes
you told me to batten down my hatches & **** it up
but what you said left me with scratches & had me all ****** up

You wake up in a room
It's not your room
Nor is it any room
You've seen before
Not in reality, not in your dreams
Not in your nightmares

You look around
Dazed as can be
Trying to rub the sleep
From your eyes
And you notice the paint on the wall
Is chipping
Then the smell hits you
It's not all that offensive
It's that stale, moldy odor
That you encounter when you enter
Your grandparents' attic
Like the room doesn't see many visitors

You hoist yourself to your feet
And you notice there is no door
No windows
The only light
Comes from a flickering light bulb
Dangling from the ceiling
With each swing the light flickers
And in one instant when it is illuminated
You notice something on the wall that your back was facing
When you woke up
You move a little bit closer
Slowly stepping, creaking on the wooden floorboards below you
And realize that it's writing

"What do you plan to do with the life you've been given?"

You take a step back
Confused and disoriented
And start to scream
Cry for help
But all the noise you make seems to bounce off the four walls
And come crashing, louder than you could imagine
Back into your own eardrums

In nature
How the river flows
No rapture
A flower dies and it grows
Trust in my words
When I don't know what I'm saying
Trust is for the birds
As they touch clouds, they're flying

As is life, as are you
People come and go
You love me and I loved you
I would've done whatever you said so
I'm just another one of those people
Now I'm a ghost and more than before
Now you're weakening and growing more feeble
I gave you so much, now I'm gone and you want more

So this is me
And this is you
What to be
What to do
I'm set on go
And you're stuck on me
You never thought
You'd be so lonely
So you say
But you hold back
You always hold back

When we're born
And until we perish
Ideas we've worn
Things we relish
Seem to live on
Despite our broken bodies
Daughters and sons
Sacrificed, we're follies

With that said
We all get a piece
Heads and hearts of lead
Holes in moldy brain-cheese
No one is afforded
A true way through
Everyone is sorted
And it really is true

Family's with money
Fall and suffer from lack of love
And family's with none
Shiver in the cold through group-hugs
Healthy people, sick ones
All suffer fates they'd choose not to
Church steeples, Satanic cults
Deceive and feign the truth

Ups and downs
Lows and highs
Smiles and frowns
Laughs and cries
One and the other
Living in harmony
Sisters and brothers
Who tolerate each other
Because they know
Whether high or low
They'd drown in the undertow
If their doppelganger didn't show

I walk on silent streets
Coated with invisible blood
But with each step I take
And every tree I shake
I just can't scratch the image out of my of mind of that stake

It's do or be done
I have to stand up or be thrown down
Sifting through smiles and stares
Looking for the one who's fair
The one with bright eyes and long, healthy hair

Searching for companionship
In a world where I'm meant to be alone
I have no issue with walking and talking to myself
But no matter who you are, you can always use a little help
A pair of eyes to see me and some ears to listen to the pain I've felt

Ha ha
Ha ha ha
That's a good one
You're killing me here

Ha

It's just the way you said it
The way your face scrunched up
And the little frown at the end of the sentence
You really should look into comedy, you could make some money

Ha

It's your demeanor
And the way you carry yourself
You're a big goof and you can't do anything about it
You were born with a jumbled brain that denies everything but one liners

Ha ha ha ha

You make me sick though
My stomach turns when your mouth opens
I laugh but only because you'll never get the things inside me
I laugh but only because if I don't, then you'll ask what's wrong and then the cycle starts again

"What's wrong?"
Nothing.
"You sure?"
Of course.
"Okay, good."

Ha
Ha ha
What a joke
What a horrible joke

Her daddy had eyes
Gleaming, red bullets
Only for her, only for her
He said, "Baby, I love you"
She nodded and smiled
But it took her a while

Her daddy came home one night
Eyes bloodshot and fingers trembling
He said, "I got into a fight"
And that he needed relieving
She looked at him softly
Her heart running a marathon
He looked at her hardly
And touched her gently

This was her life
She knew she had to go
Or he had to leave
Everything moving in slow-mo
She packed her things
Toothbrush and old clothes
She opened the door
He hit her and asked if she wanted more

She said, "No, no"
And he just smirked
She asked "Why?"
He held his head high
And said, with a sigh
"I ain't been right since your momma died."

The wind blows us over
The ocean throws us out and pulls us in
The seagulls let us know their there
With their reminiscing in search of life

We float about among the salty water
Eyes burning, we try to watch eachother amongst the blue and black and green
Our vision is hazy but we both know the other is there
Watching, waiting, swaying


Back to go again

Going with the flow
Moving with the sway of the trees in the wind
Coming in and going out
Washing up and washing out like the foam-tipped tide
Go with the flow

Whatever comes, comes
Whatever wants to leave, I let
I don't fight because fighting is pointless
I try not to stress because everything passes

Saying what I mean
Whatever comes to my head
Writing what I want
Whatever I think needs to be said

Living this way is the best thing I can do
I can't try to be better than what I already am
Everything comes easy when you let it go gently
And nothing is difficult if you don't make it so
Go with the flow

Awaking
To the thought of your face
Sleeping
With your heart in my heart's place
Dreaming
Of your hand in mine
Wishing
That you just had the time

You tell me that you're happy
And you're not willing to compromise
You made it clear that you're good
And I've made a point to tell you I wish you were mine
I wish we were "us" and I hope that we will
One day walk into the light and let it all fill
The spaces in my chest where love used to dwell

Something's in the air between
The two of us
That God himself would be
Quite jealous of
Electric finger tips on my body
Bring me to life
Resucitate me
This dormant vessel of trife

We are what not anyone can repeat
Step in my door, looking for a treat
The way your cheeks glow so sweet
Never think twice about taking that leap
Look into my eyes, taking more than a peek
Would never tell you no, you're my flavor of every week

See, things were just fine
For those years you weren't mine
Took is as it came
Always took the blame
But thing's have got to change
Sometime, as goes the saying
I can only love you for so long
Before I'm so ******* gone

So gone, so gone
Won't look back, no
I wouldn't dare to
Would be sad to see you go
But I'm always ready for worst
While I've got eyes on the best
Holding you to my chest
But underneath
I've always got my bullet-proof vest

***.
Blood.
Teeth.
Irony.
Jesus.
Lifelessness.
The End.

The beginning.

The dead.
The complacent.
The clueless.
The finished.

The one's who don't know.
The one's who don't care.
The one's who never thought to know.

The stupid.
The selfish.
The stupidly brave.
The suicidally comfortable.

The one's who gave up on meaning.

The searching.
The tired.
The sick.
The joyless.

The one's who have accepted that joy is never permanent.
The one's who know grief and loss is the only constant.
The one's who know emotion is only a subjective thing.
The one's who keep living despite the horror.
The one's who end their lives to rid themselves of the horror.
The one's who know the end of their lives doesn't necessarily mean the end of the horror.
The one's who live knowing all things keep going, no matter if they're alive to feel it to the full extent.

The horror never dies.

she told me that the knife was there
but i didn't believe her
she told me that she was scared
but i couldn't hear her
she told me i was emotionally impaired
and then i couldn't take her seriously

she doesn't do drugs but she's addicted to the drama
we went out that night and i acted like i wanna
take her in my arms and never let her go
but what i felt inside was less than what i showed
acting like a fool and emitting an awkward laugh
how long before she realizes that i'm trash?

we both have blaring positives and negatives
glaring at the tv screen together and what gives?
is this all that it's about?
until you get mad and start to shout?
smooth sailing for a little bit
and then you go and **** up all of it

Nobody ever knows
What's coming til it slaps them in the face
Nobody ever cares
About your worries til they're sitting in your lap
Nobody ever realizes
What you're thinking until it's vibrating through
Their head

Walking the big red carpet
Between love and hate
Blowing kisses, granting wishes
All the money in the world but I still pay my bills late
Too good for bad, too bad for good
I know that I should try to settle but I wouldn't if I could

Take me to the moon
Because nothing here is beautiful
Offer me your heart made of wood
So I can chop it with my glistening axe handle
Nothing, no, nothing, no
Nothing is good enough

They all say that love is a hunter
It'll track you down and put holes in your dress
But I've had too many run ins with Cupid
To ever think he could make a masterpiece of this mess
So baby, hold me close and tell me I'm the one
Because I've given up, baby, I'm so done

Her work is never done
But are her ways intentional?
Compensation seems synonymous with question marks
With smoky wishes and a fogged past
All smiles with poison in her glass

One thing I know for sure
She does choose her battles
Whether it is done wisely
Is up for interpretation
Her energy, forever driven by sensation

Walking around, no car, just a few bottles/
The air's crisp as her heart/
We take a seat by the school and the blue and red lights startle/
We pack it in and hoof it, my favorite part/
Though, is when she takes my hand/
My clammy palms pressed against her smooth ones/
My fantasies fulfilled, spilling through my brain like sand/
The cops can do what they will but they will never bring down my fun/
Tonight/

Does your heart feel like it's made of concrete?
Dropped into a mixer, poured out and left to dry?
In the summer heat, in a crowded room with no windows?
With people gasping for air where no oxygen can be?
I don't know why I'm saying this
Or why I'm posing these thoughts as questions
But I hope you understand this;
That situations are simply circumstances

I write these things
To make myself feel better
And most of the time
I fool myself well

But sometimes it doesn't work

You are such a sweet girl
And I've tried my hand
Peeked through the holes in your heart
After a while, I could no longer stand
Had you visiting my thoughts more and more
About four dreams a week, and you're in four

It's not fair
You're always there
No, it's not fair
With your long black hair
I just want peace and no more wishing
Just wonder when I can stop fishing

You've got a boy
I've known from the start
But when we started working
Think I got too close to your heart
Talking to me every day like you wanna be with me
Touching me, taunting me, like you think we could be
But then you do a 180 and disappear
You're doing okay, the last I hear

Lonely, lonely, lonely
If only, if only
They'd know me, know me
Lonely, lonely, lonely

Don't get
What it takes
Might have
High stakes
They don't
Know how
I won't
Bow down

If you don't
Take the time
I don't
Have to whine
You know
How I do it
I know
How you lose it
You're gone, gone, gone
And I'm still here
Silently turned on, on
Cheers

Whoa-oh-oh
I don't have to go
But I can if I feel threatened
This lonely love is never lessened
By the sound of your breath
By the heat of the night
And the notion of peaceful rest
I won't try to fight
Because it's done, done, done

Do you still think of me?
When you close your eyes and you can't see
Do I tread the same part of your head
Back when we shared the same bed?

Because when my thoughts point to you
Everything I thought false seems true
All the wrongs seem right
Even that heartbreaking fight

Outside the school with tears on your cheeks
Your makeup smeared for weeks
I played the devil because I was new to love
Every saint was once a sinner and every crow wants his dove

Now that it's all washed out and air dried to high heaven
There's really no excuse for my sixes and sevens
I can tell you I was young and I can claim I was dumb
But I'll never call it my idea of fun

Now this is my apology
A poor attempt at sincerity
But I would never forgive you
If you told me you forgave me too

I will rob you of your vitality
I am not your spirit tutelary
Crush your bones and eat your heart
You were wrong from the start
Should've heard your mothers words
Shouldn't have fell in with the rest of the herd

I'm talking to you
The one who thought he won
Let these words stick like glue
You were just in it for the fun
it's time to open your ******* eyes

People have died yeah they're already gone
But you you're still here breathing next to me
What? What the **** makes you better? What the **** are you on?
Just step your ego to the side and just give yourself a chance to see
So many people claim to be open and accepting
But at the end of the road their brains are nothing but alocked doors

There lies a stillness inside each of us
And you can reach the valley if you just **** the fuss
Nothing is accomplished through force and just stays
For the rage that feeds on this,  
upon the highest perch lays
So clench your fists tightly and open them up again
Slowly you'll learn that your voice hasn't been sent - yet

Things don't seem so dark no more
The light's been slowly making it's way
Into my heart, into my soul
I can't help but think that I've paid my way
Learning and loving, giving and taking
I've still got a lot to learn
But I'm no longer shaking

I noticed when my hands stopped trembling
Things were looking up... and the sky was blue
Things come together
And I know it's true
The proof is before my eyes
The proof is in your heart
The truth is in the skies
The truth stays the same... when lies fall apart

Forcing
Things
Only serves
To turn
Desperation
To
Stagnant
Hopelessness

The way you call my name
With that tongue
Singeing my eardrums
Like the Devil's poker
After he takes it from the flame
I don't know if you're right
Or if this was all just meaningless
And your legs lied to me
As did your eyes
Your stare could deceive a judge
With the precision of a scalpel
While I'm on the operating table
Just staring blankly at the ceiling
Waiting for some sort of feeling
To whisk me away

Constant worry,
casual stress.
Unceasing flurries,
upon my heart, I bless.
Nothing's wrong,
although I'd beg to differ.
My life will be long,
or so the doctor's offer.
Cholesterol is low,
nil chance of diabetes.
But on my face, it shows
I don't like to eat my Wheaties.
No matter though,
what they say
my blood shows.
I know where my heart lies
and I alone make the choice to live
or to die.

Did you have a good life when you died?
One worthy of countless reproductions?
Did they make a film dedicated to your memory?
Did it begin with your first hallowed breath?
And end with your satisfied huff?
Did they cast a guy one hundred times better looking than you?
To play the character... Of you?

If not, then what were you doing?
Your whole life, gone, and they didn't even consider a film version of your first birthday?
Did anyone even know your name?
Did anyone even give a ******* were in the same room?
Did they know your middle name?
Why wouldn't they?
It's too bad because it could've been great
It really could have been a good one
A good life
But no
I don't know what you did with it
But now it's gone
****
Zap
Done

You're dead

will thee see me
in the light, like i hope?
or will i be on my knees
drenched in dark clothes?

will thee keep me
locked in a box with key?
bound, but free,
i will be what you need me to be.

Scratch out the time and throw away your watch
Etch off the very conception of how things come and go
For this is the way it is now and this is eternal
This will be forever, our desires being perpetual and infernal
Everyone elses little heads, little existence as important as a popcorn kernal

I promise you this, yes and I promise you that
The truth is that I don't know what the truth is
I can't tell you how things will be tomorrow or the next day
I can't say anything important until I know you're feelings are no longer at bay
The only thing I can do is say that you will know the truth and so will I if we both decide to stay

So just stay here, locked in my cold arms
For the winter is back and it shows no mercy
The nights are frozen and, at times, grim but the snow is beautiful
We might be closest when we are horizontal but the aim is always vertical
Up in the air and the sky and along with the wind

Beauty
Only skin deep
So they say

But how *deep is skin?
I think it's pretty inaccurate to describe skin as deep
More of a measure of thickness, no?

So, I'm sure we all know that skin
Skin isn't so thick
Think about it, just a ***** of a pin and we're giving the walls a fresh coat of paint
Our own brand of paint
Made in a unique way
That only each one of us knows how to make

With that out of the way
Beauty
We've established is only skin thick
Deep
Is for oceans or rivers or ponds or puddles
Beauty
However
Beauty
Is special

On second thought
I take back my previous statement
Yes, deep is no way to describe beauty
But neither is thick
That's a rather horrible adjective when you think about it
Nothing that's thick is usually pleasant
Therefore, it probably wouldn't be suitable when discussing beauty

Again
Beauty
Mulling it over now
Beauty
Again
It doesn't surprise me
That it's taking me so long to come up with something
Because when you have a word
That is supposed to be used to describe something... someone
To encapsulate that thing or that person
It honestly, truly, adamently
Never does it/he/she justice
Beauty
A nice word, I admit
Not sure if it's because of it's connotations
And what it represents in the world
Or just the way it flows from the throat
To the lips
But
On a scale of something beautiful
To something breathtakingly
Heartstoppingly
Lung-haltingly
Beautiful
I just don't think it works

I am a being
My own self
I
Myself
Am
Being
Who I am
Who I be
Dusty paths, ***** roads, choices
Choices
Choices
I've known no guilt
I've felt no pain
Progress sometimes becomes
Disturbed
But my rivers
Still flow
My waters
Still fall
My rain
Still pats your roofs
Your head
Under your feet
You don't know that you
Know it
But you feel it
Your body knows it
Your heart beats to it
To the sound
Of my own
Feet
My own
Heart
In synch
With what you aren't yet ready
To admit
To notice
To be true to youself, concerning
The questions
The words
The thoughts
It isn't
Who will let me?
But it is
*Who is going to stop me now?