Walking around, no car, just a few bottles/
The air's crisp as her heart/
We take a seat by the school and the blue and red lights startle/
We pack it in and hoof it, my favorite part/
Though, is when she takes my hand/
My clammy palms pressed against her smooth ones/
My fantasies fulfilled, spilling through my brain like sand/
The cops can do what they will but they will never bring down my fun/
Tonight/

Does your heart feel like it's made of concrete?
Dropped into a mixer, poured out and left to dry?
In the summer heat, in a crowded room with no windows?
With people gasping for air where no oxygen can be?
I don't know why I'm saying this
Or why I'm posing these thoughts as questions
But I hope you understand this;
That situations are simply circumstances

I don't care
for *******.
You talk and
I don't hear it.
Blah, blah, blah,
just close your mouth.
Wah, wah, wah,
all you do is pout.

your heart is a violent gang
prowling the streets after dark
mine is the bird that once sang
covered in blood & curious marks

when my bird and your gang collide
there isn't an obvious winner
neither regard the rules or, by them, abide
both will eat your family for dinner

jet black boots and thoughts to match
your legs are barbed-wire baseball bats
i never asked if there was a catch
and now my legs are scared little cats

but inside me sleeps a bomb
it doesn't tick, but it's always rolling
like a panzer tank emitting a sad song
i press a button and we both go strolling
everything is nothing but everything is showing

i hate everything
that symbolizes life
flowers, the sun & breathing
i trace my wrist with a knife

when i'm not at work
i'm high all the time
i've become a different person
in the space between the reason & the rhyme

i'm wasting myself
without going all the way
for my constant self-indulgence
out my ***, i'm expected to pay

i'm degenerating & withering
the person i was would hate who i am
forever stumbling down this existential staircase
everything i say, do & believe is a sham

theres no real semblance of hope left
and i think i'm okay with that
in the end, it doesn't really matter
whether i'm reprimanded or patted on the back

cheers to cheers-ing to the future
***** & diet soda in hand
i'm undoing the suture
i know i'll be okay wherever i land

You are such a sweet girl
And I've tried my hand
Peeked through the holes in your heart
After a while, I could no longer stand
Had you visiting my thoughts more and more
About four dreams a week, and you're in four

It's not fair
You're always there
No, it's not fair
With your long black hair
I just want peace and no more wishing
Just wonder when I can stop fishing

You've got a boy
I've known from the start
But when we started working
Think I got too close to your heart
Talking to me every day like you wanna be with me
Touching me, taunting me, like you think we could be
But then you do a 180 and disappear
You're doing okay, the last I hear

I write these things
To make myself feel better
And most of the time
I fool myself well

But sometimes it doesn't work

Eliminate this pain
And heal my afflictions
It just ain't the same
Your affection is itching
I'm crawling from head to toe
I'm dying from inside out now
I'm lying with every word
I'm liable for more hurt now

Throw me away
Like yesterdays trash
Take me from my home
And inject in me, the rash
Take advantage of my foolishness
Tell me everything'll be alright
Exacerbate your selfishness
When the moon shines at night
And keep on doing what you're doing
**** me with everything you have
Keep moving like your moving
And dance into the darkness tonight

You're shakin' in your shoes
I'm shakin' from the agony
I'm losing all control
As you're increasingly meaning nothing to me
I just don't care
To hear you whine
And I can't bear
To even be in your presence
When you're all black and blued
So I'm gonna walk this way
While you attempt to follow
I'm hiding it all away
Until I hit the grace of tomorrow

Tomorrow we all die
Tomorrow we all feel the pain
Tomorrow you cry
Tomorrow we all go insane

Forcing
Things
Only serves
To turn
Desperation
To
Stagnant
Hopelessness

Constant worry,
casual stress.
Unceasing flurries,
upon my heart, I bless.
Nothing's wrong,
although I'd beg to differ.
My life will be long,
or so the doctor's offer.
Cholesterol is low,
nil chance of diabetes.
But on my face, it shows
I don't like to eat my Wheaties.
No matter though,
what they say
my blood shows.
I know where my heart lies
and I alone make the choice to live
or to die.

Electricity
All through me
I can see
How this will end
Rules were made to bend
And messages made to send

In the aviary you can see for miles
Miles and miles, how I love that smile
The sweetest thing is you by my side
And the last thing I want is for us to slide
In the heavy snow and the cold rain
But just as pleasure goes then comes the pain

Can't do nothing about it, babe
It's as necessary as a summer shave
The path is never smooth, but we try (we try)
No matter what, no one is able to hide (can't hide)
I wish I held the key and I think I'm close (I'm close)
You and I, I think we're the most (the most)

You and I, I know we're the most

Do you still think of me?
When you close your eyes and you can't see
Do I tread the same part of your head
Back when we shared the same bed?

Because when my thoughts point to you
Everything I thought false seems true
All the wrongs seem right
Even that heartbreaking fight

Outside the school with tears on your cheeks
Your makeup smeared for weeks
I played the devil because I was new to love
Every saint was once a sinner and every crow wants his dove

Now that it's all washed out and air dried to high heaven
There's really no excuse for my sixes and sevens
I can tell you I was young and I can claim I was dumb
But I'll never call it my idea of fun

Now this is my apology
A poor attempt at sincerity
But I would never forgive you
If you told me you forgave me too

The paths of
Glory
Are lined
In doubt
And
Hesitation

The blotchy grass and
Broken tree limbs
Greet me when I come
Spare car parts
Barrels of twisted, half-charred metal
Tin, iron and aluminum
Stacked high, Sun-glinting off

It's hot
Humid, the worst
Sometimes I could barely breathe
But I did
Even with my asthma
Tugging on my lungs
I breathed in
I breathed out
And it was just like I remembered it

The way you call my name
With that tongue
Singeing my eardrums
Like the Devil's poker
After he takes it from the flame
I don't know if you're right
Or if this was all just meaningless
And your legs lied to me
As did your eyes
Your stare could deceive a judge
With the precision of a scalpel
While I'm on the operating table
Just staring blankly at the ceiling
Waiting for some sort of feeling
To whisk me away

Oh... Oh oh
What they said
What they said
What they said about you
What they said

I didn't believe it
Because I believe in a little thing
Called giving a chance
But you took my word
Went and smeared it, I just can't
Let it happen again
No, I can't stand the thought of it

But the saddest part of it
Is that you don't see the fault in your trangressions
I tried to talk and tried to sit
But nothing would put a stop to your passive aggressions
So I just went and left
I could'nt see us moving mountains
In my thoughts where you once crept
Now bears a black liquid spewing fountain

No, I don't harbor any bad feelings
I just feel like you don't know the meaning
You're so shallow when you're sinning
All you know is death, your life's been waning
Now it might sound insensitive
But when I walked away from you
I never felt better
No, no
No, I never felt more free

a stupid sucker sailing disgraced seas
finishing every sentence with thank you's and pleases
i never knew i'd grow to be so **** meek
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next week

troubles and failures are piled and bunched
eating stale potato chips for breakfast and lunch
i feel like i'll never be able to get up
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next month

crank open the hatch and pour down the beer
never got the concept of saying "cheers"
my muddled thoughts are always clouded by useless fears
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next year

"the future is ******* freaky",
i say to myself as i'm lying and leaking
as the years have gone by
i've done nothing, my oh my
i don't know what i plan on doing
i have no idea where i'm going
so just hold me close
i think i need a stronger rope
but you outwit that thought tonight

my thoughts take me to weird places
weird faces and distorted pictures of distorted places
i've never been and probably won't ever go to
you smile because you know it's the truth
unless we pick up now and forget everything
we're gonna be stuck in this cave with our aching
and that's no way to live, no, not at all
i thought you would be there when i'd fall
but you only ever knew how to play hardball
but please ease up and answer me when i call

Love consists of over-estimating the differences between one woman and another.

Oh hi, hey
Will you stay?
Do you wanna?
Tomorrow day?
Can you feel it?
Am I dumb?
Don't give a ****
That's no fun

Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh
You dont know, oh
What I know, oh
But will you just play along? Oh.
Will you let me do you wrong?

Oh hey, hi
I heard it through the grape, the grapevine
That you said you thought I was fine
That you hinted you could be mine
Oh, well unless you give me a sign
Because I'm a geek, I'm meek and prone to whine
Are you signing at the dotted line?
Are you the reason to these rhymes?

A man limps down the street. His right leg drags as his left one tries to keep balanced. Blood drips down from a bullet-sized hole from his forehead to his chin in a thin, crimson line. His eyes bulge and his nostrils flare.

A woman walks past him, headed in the other direction. She is staring down at the cell phone in her hand, furiously tapping away as the headphones shes wearing blare an incoherent pop song. The man halts just as they pass and grunts loudly, hot blood spewing from his throat in the process. The blood paints the back of the passing woman's milky white sweater as she continues on strolling, unbothered.

The man drops to the floor in a heap, blood shooting like a hose from the hole in his head.

The wind blew
In and took whatever it pleased

The houses and cars
The hopes and dreams

The people flocked to corners and
Gas stations and the homes of those unaffected

But the damage was done
And the price was paid

The only thing to do now is wait
Wait and see

For when Mother Nature thinks it's time
Everything must go and even words that make no sense
Must still come together to rhyme

Joy
Horror
Emotion
The air is heavy tonight

One falls
Another rises
Church bells sound
All I hear are cries

People get carried away
Some don't care to mind
Others feel so strongly
That their heart breaks before it shines

Pushing through the leaves and the mud
Bodies are left lying still
Indifference is the word of the day
As a hardened face commits to ****

No use living in the past

Because the future is

Here

And here

Here

And

Here

Here

Again here

And...

For a minute there
I didn't know
What the **** was that?
You didn't show
Any signs of the like
So how was I supposed to know?
I just don't know
I just don't know

Things float on
And they pass
No matter how long they take
They seem too crass
To even hold accountable
For the situations that arise
But I think they're surmountable
In time, of course
In time, definitely
But my voice is too hoarse
My ability is too coarse
Too coarse, of course
I can't read Morse Code

You hit that note with grace
Every time, every single try
It puts a big old smile on my face
And you never ask, never ask why
Now I don't know exactly where it comes from
And I don't care to even try to find it out
But when you're here and your vibe starts to hum
You induce a phase of long lasting doubt in me

Because you're too good at what you're doing
Don't know where you come from, baby
You're too fine as you walk that pencilled line
Do t know whether to go or come now
That sound, the sound you make
That buzz, that hum for God's Sake

Here I am
Standing still
Between
The future
And
A dream

My soul
Hung on a wall
Indebted to
What will be
And
My heart
Nestled in the womb
Of
What I know will be

Proving
Time
And time
Again
That waves
Crystal light
Clear sound
Cool aroma
Will be the bearers
Of what
I've always known
Would bring me home

Feeling like all my
Words are the same again just
Like when I can't talk

I feel it everywhere
The sun hung above smoke
Life sizzling in air
Breathing hard fending off a choke
But the bony hands grip tight
And garden through the night

Warmth is frozen
Just as the camera snaps
What I've chosen
Comes with silent thunderclaps
And when the rain descends
It tells me that it always just depends

Pose like you mean it
Look like your hungry for exposure
Turn your head like you've seen it
The light that comes and goes
The sunlight always gives birth to rain
Just as the insane give birth to the sane

you're so gentle and you shed so much beautiful light.
but it's like we're driving down that dark road at night.
i feel you next to me, you put your hand over mine.
i was blind once, but you made it so i could see the sign.
i owe you more than i could ever put into words.
i've said it once already but it seems you haven't heard.

so when i break down, i need you to start me back up.
it sounds like a lot, but for you it won't be a problem.
and that's why, from the floor, i'm saying i need picking up.
i'm a child, i know, and you're a pretty pink blossom.
springing from the ground without a care in the world.
or a thought, and that's why i fear you'll be running away.
once you catch wind, once you hear what i'm trying to say.

My heart is tight
It's hard for me to let you in
Try as you might
You may never truly see within
As much as I'd like you to
I can never, ever let you do
I can never let you do that
For me

in the forest trying to find the tree from which i fell
think it's time to say "**** it", waste myself and go to hell
i thought that something nice would've come along by now
but circumstance after circumstance has me wondering how

how could i have let it go this far?

Play the game and pay the price
Live your life until it's right
When you reach the end of the street
You'll realize your life can't take the back seat

Walking home drunk, by myself
Thinkin' 'bout what's left on the shelf
And the money it takes to get there
How can I manage to even beat
The **** life loves shoveling on top of me?
Why don't I just see
That one more block will never let me
Let me, let me, let me be, let me see, let me be

The hole in my broken heart
Will never ever just let me start
Livin' the way I want to
And seeing the way I want to see you
So, I'm sitting on my couch now
Drunk with a pitiful slouch
And I just can't seem to figure out
Why I have this permanent pout

there is
and
then there isn't.
an ephemeral specter
that glimmers
and then sparks
in the low, yet vibrant,
glow
of the mother moon.
cycling,
repeating,
rotating omnisciently.

what was
is
and then is gone.
what is dead
is
what the living need.
why is it
that
we reject the way?
what once was
becomes
what is now.

Drip, drop
Kick, pop
Crash, sizzle
Out for the ****

Bang, boom
Whip, zoom
Smash, break
Down the drain

Ping, pang
Oh, the same
Stay, sit
The same old ****

We all dissolve
It's basic science
While we evolve
None of us are compliant
We're hurling through
Without any consent
Our **** is true
No point in dissidents

We grow like the grass
From infertile grounds
We just want to save our ***
From unholy sounds
No matter of belief
They don't care that we don't
We're just the falling leaf
In search of lofty retreats

I felt a tugging
So I looked back
To find you looking
Back at me

I'm sorry
But this can't be
I'm on my way
I'm traveling roads I've never dreamt of

You let go of my string
And left it hanging out of my chest
Blood slides down and drips to floor
My heart beats with nothing more
But curiosity and wonder

I take another step down the newly paved road
Look down to find my foot prints in the drying tar
The blood still drips
Leaving a trail in my wake

I promise
To do no harm to you
To never stray between the lines
Even when my light goes from white to blue
My foggy mirror will always show the truth

With that, I think
Through appreciation or disdain
What my brain tells my body to do
Should never cause any pain
Because what I commit myself to
Will no doubt take me for a fool

I like to liken
What we could be in time to
Earth, wind, water and luck

a thought is thunk
while you
passively
go about
your work.

the thought dies
without a cry,
and so
mourning it
does not seem
necessary.

later on though,
when business
dies down,
it is revived.

like jesus christ
it comes back
to life.

resuscitated.
renewed.
you reign
it in.
you hold on
tight
this time.
grasping desperately
to the frail frame
and open your mouth.

but
nothing comes out.

I just wanna hang
Hang out with you
I just wanna hang
Hang in with you
I wanna hang
Hang with you

All these little feelings seeping deep in my heart
The whole is **** compared to all these tiny, hazardous parts
It might be time to buckle down and get a grip
But I've never known how to stop guzzling, and just take a sip
You smile sinisterly as you peer into my soul of souls
You reap the constant benefits of resurrecting these feelings of old

i remember when things were fresh and new
back when it was only about me & you
we lived our lives without looking back
but we were vulnerable to every single attack
no one understood what we were about
and it was okay cuz we were on our own cloud

keep looking back and fall flat on your face
i grew eyes on the back of my head just for this place
knew someday it would come to this
but before now i never gave a ****

you are the mist, a ghost, and an illusion
the queen of all of my insecure confusion
all i asked was that you take my hand and breathe
breathe with me and then maybe you'll be able to see
look at this monster hanging above my head
from the ceiling it watches me in my bed

Take a deep breath
A moment to take it all in
Check your head before you ring that bell
As it sounds and cliche as it is

It does no good to act
Without thought
And truth becomes fact
Without a war, hard fought

So sleep gently
And breathe deeply
Thank the stars nightly
Stay tucked in tightly

Just let your chest rise and fall

Now I will be ******
If I ***** this up again
I like your pretty words
You ignore it like you havent heard
You've got to know what you're doing
But you like to play the dumb doornail
Coming over to me, your voice washes up
Always, never, your plastic words can't fail

I don't know if we're meant for this
But I think I'm ready to try it
Sorry I got so ******
Over such trivial ****
I'll keep my head on straight
If you promise not to be late

sitting on the green
writing poetry
addressed to you
you are the sky when it's blue
but no, no more cheesy one-liners
we're only 24 but we're old timers
when it comes to these games
i no longer feel any shame
i know you think i'm lame
by the look you gave me when i came

Caught in the middle
Of that feeling
The not knowing
And
Lost words

A mouth opens
Tongue writhes about
No sound from the
Throat
No movement in the
Neck
Just a
Pulse
A racing heart
And
Pacing mind

A
Dot
At the center of the map
A single
Foot
In the door
The other relegated to the
Cold
One day
Late
Countless words
Shot
Zero
Feelings about any of it

Floating
In
And shuffling
Out
Just a ghost


A
Simple
Ambivalent
Spirit

In the beginning
The sky shines bright
To the end

Called out sick two days in a row/
Manager's a **** he don't even know/
Oh when it's all said and done, done, done/
All that matters is that we had some fun/
So just hear me out, take my hand, please/
Forget my wallet, never remember my keys/
None of that today, no we don't need it/

Outside the Sun hides behind comfortable tufts of white/
On the ground sits stacks and piles of fallen vanilla/
Days are wasted when you don't think twice/
But it don't matter when you've got someone to make you feel so right/

On the edge of post modern discomfort/
The sky looks twisted when you feel like ****/
Trying to speak but all that comes are little words/
Blue inside but the outs are burned, turned red/
Beaten down by the gentle pecks of the birds/
All I ask is for a little but of overhead/
Let me just stay here in my bed/

I was walking
On a normal day
The Sun was out
People were smiling
I was feeling good
Then I looked down
And the very ground began to shake

I crouched down low
My eyes darting left, right, down
A plane fled overhead
I shielded my eyes from the Sun
As I looked up
A flock of beautiful blue birds
As free and as carefree as can be
Mocked me as I struggled to stand up straight

Sunrise.

Another fretful and sudden surprise.
Caught me on my bruised black blindside.
Never thought I'd see the day or this kind
Of feeling falling on the horizon of my mind.

Sunset.

Down again and overwhelmed by upset.
Turned around, and before I knew it, I let
Myself lose. Forever on the **** end of a bad bet.
Lets just see how much worse this can get.