Squandering
Scowering
Squealing
Scattering
About

Reaching
Roarin­g
Rattling
Roaming
Off

Waiting
Wishing
Wondering
Wittling
Away

Ten decisions
Plague
You're right
One incision
Late
You're tight
And you're in it
Bait
The sight
To see it
Wait
And                   Sunlight

I am a being
My own self
I
Myself
Am
Being
Who I am
Who I be
Dusty paths, ***** roads, choices
Choices
Choices
I've known no guilt
I've felt no pain
Progress sometimes becomes
Disturbed
But my rivers
Still flow
My waters
Still fall
My rain
Still pats your roofs
Your head
Under your feet
You don't know that you
Know it
But you feel it
Your body knows it
Your heart beats to it
To the sound
Of my own
Feet
My own
Heart
In synch
With what you aren't yet ready
To admit
To notice
To be true to youself, concerning
The questions
The words
The thoughts
It isn't
Who will let me?
But it is
*Who is going to stop me now?

Joy
Horror
Emotion
The air is heavy tonight

One falls
Another rises
Church bells sound
All I hear are cries

People get carried away
Some don't care to mind
Others feel so strongly
That their heart breaks before it shines

Pushing through the leaves and the mud
Bodies are left lying still
Indifference is the word of the day
As a hardened face commits to ****

The blotchy grass and
Broken tree limbs
Greet me when I come
Spare car parts
Barrels of twisted, half-charred metal
Tin, iron and aluminum
Stacked high, Sun-glinting off

It's hot
Humid, the worst
Sometimes I could barely breathe
But I did
Even with my asthma
Tugging on my lungs
I breathed in
I breathed out
And it was just like I remembered it

Oh hi, hey
Will you stay?
Do you wanna?
Tomorrow day?
Can you feel it?
Am I dumb?
Don't give a ****
That's no fun

Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh
You dont know, oh
What I know, oh
But will you just play along? Oh.
Will you let me do you wrong?

Oh hey, hi
I heard it through the grape, the grapevine
That you said you thought I was fine
That you hinted you could be mine
Oh, well unless you give me a sign
Because I'm a geek, I'm meek and prone to whine
Are you signing at the dotted line?
Are you the reason to these rhymes?

No use living in the past

Because the future is

Here

And here

Here

And

Here

Here

Again here

And...

To the bitter end
From the burnt beginning
Photographs covered in blood
Reminders of the spoils of winning
Leaving it all behind
Regrets only real in your head
The truth is all in your mind
Turning it over and out in your bed

Some things only seem real in hindsight
And others only in the moment
Events only palatable after the fact
Places where we all feel the same atonement
And look back realizing everything was ******
Knowing nothing can change what's happened
But find solace in that the future is mendable
Gasping to grip the message in the bottle...
And cap it

I feel it everywhere
The sun hung above smoke
Life sizzling in air
Breathing hard fending off a choke
But the bony hands grip tight
And garden through the night

Warmth is frozen
Just as the camera snaps
What I've chosen
Comes with silent thunderclaps
And when the rain descends
It tells me that it always just depends

Pose like you mean it
Look like your hungry for exposure
Turn your head like you've seen it
The light that comes and goes
The sunlight always gives birth to rain
Just as the insane give birth to the sane

close the door
hit the floor
you want more
but i'm giving you all that i have

you were mystical
like a myth to me
something magical
you filled up all that i could see

but then it was done
yeah, we had our fun
made me feel like i was the only one
the two of us bathing, burning in the sun

Feeling like all my
Words are the same again just
Like when I can't talk

Here I am
Standing still
Between
The future
And
A dream

My soul
Hung on a wall
Indebted to
What will be
And
My heart
Nestled in the womb
Of
What I know will be

Proving
Time
And time
Again
That waves
Crystal light
Clear sound
Cool aroma
Will be the bearers
Of what
I've always known
Would bring me home

A few words
From your mouth
to my ears
Makes it true
All things must pass

And when the time
Comes around the corner
My mind defrosts
And I know
You know I'm right

The melancholy
And the sad
And the lonely
Never make me mad
I just wait for the time

Wait for when
The time is right
When the clock ticks
Through the night
It isn't that hard

You're just very impatient
When I feel your anxiety
I get nervous too
But I just say to myself
All things must
And do
Pass

Electricity
All through me
I can see
How this will end
Rules were made to bend
And messages made to send

In the aviary you can see for miles
Miles and miles, how I love that smile
The sweetest thing is you by my side
And the last thing I want is for us to slide
In the heavy snow and the cold rain
But just as pleasure goes then comes the pain

Can't do nothing about it, babe
It's as necessary as a summer shave
The path is never smooth, but we try (we try)
No matter what, no one is able to hide (can't hide)
I wish I held the key and I think I'm close (I'm close)
You and I, I think we're the most (the most)

You and I, I know we're the most

Drip, drop
Kick, pop
Crash, sizzle
Out for the ****

Bang, boom
Whip, zoom
Smash, break
Down the drain

Ping, pang
Oh, the same
Stay, sit
The same old ****

I felt a tugging
So I looked back
To find you looking
Back at me

I'm sorry
But this can't be
I'm on my way
I'm traveling roads I've never dreamt of

You let go of my string
And left it hanging out of my chest
Blood slides down and drips to floor
My heart beats with nothing more
But curiosity and wonder

I take another step down the newly paved road
Look down to find my foot prints in the drying tar
The blood still drips
Leaving a trail in my wake

your heart is a violent gang
prowling the streets after dark
mine is the bird that once sang
covered in blood & curious marks

when my bird and your gang collide
there isn't an obvious winner
neither regard the rules or, by them, abide
both will eat your family for dinner

jet black boots and thoughts to match
your legs are barbed-wire baseball bats
i never asked if there was a catch
and now my legs are scared little cats

but inside me sleeps a bomb
it doesn't tick, but it's always rolling
like a panzer tank emitting a sad song
i press a button and we both go strolling
everything is nothing but everything is showing

i hate everything
that symbolizes life
flowers, the sun & breathing
i trace my wrist with a knife

when i'm not at work
i'm high all the time
i've become a different person
in the space between the reason & the rhyme

i'm wasting myself
without going all the way
for my constant self-indulgence
out my ***, i'm expected to pay

i'm degenerating & withering
the person i was would hate who i am
forever stumbling down this existential staircase
everything i say, do & believe is a sham

theres no real semblance of hope left
and i think i'm okay with that
in the end, it doesn't really matter
whether i'm reprimanded or patted on the back

cheers to cheers-ing to the future
***** & diet soda in hand
i'm undoing the suture
i know i'll be okay wherever i land

Play the game and pay the price
Live your life until it's right
When you reach the end of the street
You'll realize your life can't take the back seat

Walking home drunk, by myself
Thinkin' 'bout what's left on the shelf
And the money it takes to get there
How can I manage to even beat
The **** life loves shoveling on top of me?
Why don't I just see
That one more block will never let me
Let me, let me, let me be, let me see, let me be

The hole in my broken heart
Will never ever just let me start
Livin' the way I want to
And seeing the way I want to see you
So, I'm sitting on my couch now
Drunk with a pitiful slouch
And I just can't seem to figure out
Why I have this permanent pout

Raise the stakes
Beat the odds
Hit the breaks
Its so odd
To be stuck in the center of a seaside ceremony
And be left as the one and only, the lost and lonely

But I've gotten better
Made my way to
Where I first met her
False has been proved true
But again I'm left to pick up petrified puzzle pieces
And its okay, because the pain, it eventually eases

My heart is tight
It's hard for me to let you in
Try as you might
You may never truly see within
As much as I'd like you to
I can never, ever let you do
I can never let you do that
For me

Take a deep breath
A moment to take it all in
Check your head before you ring that bell
As it sounds and cliche as it is

It does no good to act
Without thought
And truth becomes fact
Without a war, hard fought

So sleep gently
And breathe deeply
Thank the stars nightly
Stay tucked in tightly

Just let your chest rise and fall

With all your subtlety
And beat around the bush talk
You killed me and brought me back to life
And because of that I walk the walk
The immense relief deactivates me
And leaves me lying clean on the floor

You shook me up
And put me down
It took a while
But now I've found
The way I must keep living

The spikes that flew off your tongue
Pierced my skin
Outside my head, my eyeballs hung
Had to hold my jaw in place
To keep from shattering on the floor
Now I hold my head high
And politely ask for more

More, more, more
Give me something to cry about
Again and again and again
Let me feel the disappointment

I have no more to say
But thank you so much
I appreciate the thought
To know I've hurt you in such
A way that I can never apologize
Only live by new terms

And hope to make my way
To the top rung
Smile and wave
Make you proud and save
The only face
That remains
The only face
That remains

The paths of
Glory
Are lined
In doubt
And
Hesitation

Oh... Oh oh
What they said
What they said
What they said about you
What they said

I didn't believe it
Because I believe in a little thing
Called giving a chance
But you took my word
Went and smeared it, I just can't
Let it happen again
No, I can't stand the thought of it

But the saddest part of it
Is that you don't see the fault in your trangressions
I tried to talk and tried to sit
But nothing would put a stop to your passive aggressions
So I just went and left
I could'nt see us moving mountains
In my thoughts where you once crept
Now bears a black liquid spewing fountain

No, I don't harbor any bad feelings
I just feel like you don't know the meaning
You're so shallow when you're sinning
All you know is death, your life's been waning
Now it might sound insensitive
But when I walked away from you
I never felt better
No, no
No, I never felt more free

**** everything, lets just listen and lay here
stop talking and listen to the sobs in the cheers
you used to jump on me so fast
but all that fun never lasts
then i saw you walking with him
and my light grew dim

you never made yourself out to be
what you really are, just like me
and i hate that, i really resent it
i can't take that, i couldn't recommend it
the reasons why we were washed ashore together
are getting clearer as the maybes turn to nevers

I was walking
On a normal day
The Sun was out
People were smiling
I was feeling good
Then I looked down
And the very ground began to shake

I crouched down low
My eyes darting left, right, down
A plane fled overhead
I shielded my eyes from the Sun
As I looked up
A flock of beautiful blue birds
As free and as carefree as can be
Mocked me as I struggled to stand up straight

"the future is ******* freaky",
i say to myself as i'm lying and leaking
as the years have gone by
i've done nothing, my oh my
i don't know what i plan on doing
i have no idea where i'm going
so just hold me close
i think i need a stronger rope
but you outwit that thought tonight

my thoughts take me to weird places
weird faces and distorted pictures of distorted places
i've never been and probably won't ever go to
you smile because you know it's the truth
unless we pick up now and forget everything
we're gonna be stuck in this cave with our aching
and that's no way to live, no, not at all
i thought you would be there when i'd fall
but you only ever knew how to play hardball
but please ease up and answer me when i call

in the forest trying to find the tree from which i fell
think it's time to say "**** it", waste myself and go to hell
i thought that something nice would've come along by now
but circumstance after circumstance has me wondering how

how could i have let it go this far?

Oh sweet girl don't you see
That Heaven awaits you upon leave
You've got nothing to worry
Nothing to be a little bit sorry
About but you still talk to me
Like what we have is something

You're the weight behind the breeze
And when it shines, you are the sun beams
You're smile can change the mood
Of a room full of crude fools
And I am just one

When my eyes first rested
On you I was sure  I was being tested
By the forces that surround me
By all the powers that will eventually be
But then you opened your mouth
And you told me all about how
You've been (and asked me the same)

Caught in the middle
Of that feeling
The not knowing
And
Lost words

A mouth opens
Tongue writhes about
No sound from the
Throat
No movement in the
Neck
Just a
Pulse
A racing heart
And
Pacing mind

A
Dot
At the center of the map
A single
Foot
In the door
The other relegated to the
Cold
One day
Late
Countless words
Shot
Zero
Feelings about any of it

Floating
In
And shuffling
Out
Just a ghost


A
Simple
Ambivalent
Spirit

sitting on the green
writing poetry
addressed to you
you are the sky when it's blue
but no, no more cheesy one-liners
we're only 24 but we're old timers
when it comes to these games
i no longer feel any shame
i know you think i'm lame
by the look you gave me when i came

I looked down at my boots as I kicked my feet gently through the zero gravity atmosphere.
I smiled but you wouldn't know it for the thick helmet encasing my skull with the shiny, dense glass fixated over my face could cover up a ******.
I gazed back at the ship hovering weightlessly in a sea of blackness.
I felt no pain.
I felt no loneliness.
And I felt no fright.

My eyes drifted down again at the cord coming from the rear of the ship and attached to my oxygen supply pack and I thought of you.
I knew you were with me.
And you would never leave.
You are my oxygen.
My time.
My space.
My life.
And my love.

We all dissolve
It's basic science
While we evolve
None of us are compliant
We're hurling through
Without any consent
Our **** is true
No point in dissidents

We grow like the grass
From infertile grounds
We just want to save our ***
From unholy sounds
No matter of belief
They don't care that we don't
We're just the falling leaf
In search of lofty retreats

Called out sick two days in a row/
Manager's a **** he don't even know/
Oh when it's all said and done, done, done/
All that matters is that we had some fun/
So just hear me out, take my hand, please/
Forget my wallet, never remember my keys/
None of that today, no we don't need it/

Outside the Sun hides behind comfortable tufts of white/
On the ground sits stacks and piles of fallen vanilla/
Days are wasted when you don't think twice/
But it don't matter when you've got someone to make you feel so right/

On the edge of post modern discomfort/
The sky looks twisted when you feel like ****/
Trying to speak but all that comes are little words/
Blue inside but the outs are burned, turned red/
Beaten down by the gentle pecks of the birds/
All I ask is for a little but of overhead/
Let me just stay here in my bed/

Love consists of over-estimating the differences between one woman and another.

For a minute there
I didn't know
What the **** was that?
You didn't show
Any signs of the like
So how was I supposed to know?
I just don't know
I just don't know

Things float on
And they pass
No matter how long they take
They seem too crass
To even hold accountable
For the situations that arise
But I think they're surmountable
In time, of course
In time, definitely
But my voice is too hoarse
My ability is too coarse
Too coarse, of course
I can't read Morse Code

Here I go again
Oh here I, here I come again
I've got no right to say the words I want to
But they're the words I need to
So here I go again
Again and again

You once meant the Earth and the Stars
To me, in my head
You were the beautiful white light
At the end if the tunnel
You were my strength and might
Until you pummeled
My beating red heart to bits
Now it's scattered all over the floor
Like so many pieces of a tainted puzzle
And I'm left here wanting more
But you have disarmed me, fastened a muzzle
And I can speak nothing but nonsense
Nonsensical musings upon a schizophrenic backdrop

I feel like world has turned on her head
And my stomach feels sick
Like some hellish, black pit
And now I feel like a ****
I don't know why but it's the way it is
The way it has to be?
Well, I'll never know
For sure, it's the way I see
Things when they're altered inside my own mind
Someone needs to tell me to just calm down
But when I have enough time to think things through
I just want, I mean need, my wishes to come true
Oh, please just let my imagination break through

Crawling on hands and knees
Reaching for what no one understands
The smoke fills my lungs
As the life in me clings to land
I hate this circle of emotion
It lives inside of me
Now I'm fixing myself a potion
To get rid of everything that just won't stop

My beating heart
My dead brain
I rip apart
And go insane
The haunting shark
In the black sea
Glides silent
And sneaks up on me

What you might not know
Death is my friend
Met him one day
That just wouldn't end
Took a razor blade
As the sun rose
Was too late
Ended up with something I never chose
Just tried to meet you
Awoke on a black porch
And now
I'm just trying to see you
Even though I'm way past feeling you

The cigarette smoke fills the air
And the coffee greets my throat
The despair
Never ceases
It's not fair
I never asked for a reason
But now
I'm left here wondering
As I stare
Into the abyss just pondering
The fate that awaits me
It never comes soon enough
**** me or let me be
God ******
I just want to be free
But you just can't grant me
What I need

Eliminate this pain
And heal my afflictions
It just ain't the same
Your affection is itching
I'm crawling from head to toe
I'm dying from inside out now
I'm lying with every word
I'm liable for more hurt now

Throw me away
Like yesterdays trash
Take me from my home
And inject in me, the rash
Take advantage of my foolishness
Tell me everything'll be alright
Exacerbate your selfishness
When the moon shines at night
And keep on doing what you're doing
**** me with everything you have
Keep moving like your moving
And dance into the darkness tonight

You're shakin' in your shoes
I'm shakin' from the agony
I'm losing all control
As you're increasingly meaning nothing to me
I just don't care
To hear you whine
And I can't bear
To even be in your presence
When you're all black and blued
So I'm gonna walk this way
While you attempt to follow
I'm hiding it all away
Until I hit the grace of tomorrow

Tomorrow we all die
Tomorrow we all feel the pain
Tomorrow you cry
Tomorrow we all go insane

I smile, I grin a worthless grin
Over a burning bridge
Ain't nothin' much I can do
I lose, I lose but then I win
All the pain, was it worth it?
I just don't know
I don't know

When you enter the room
All my gloom returns to it's tomb
Only to show it's face
Once yours leaves it's place
In my point of view
Out of my peripheral
Visions of dark night skies
With glowing stars shining bright
It sounds kind of cliche
But I can't help but say

That the air around my head
Grows heavy
And I don't know what to do with you, when the air around my head
Makes me dizzy
Because of the way you do

Sitting lazily on your old couch
Back bent slightly, giving in to slouch
I turn my gaze
Toward the side of your face
Everything about you and your profile
Spins me 'round like a platinum turnstile
You take me for a ride
And I just can't hide
Deep set feelings are hard to come by
And when I start thinking it's just like

That the air around my head
Grows heavy
And I don't know what to do with you, when the air around my head
Makes me dizzy
Because of the way you do

a stupid sucker sailing disgraced seas
finishing every sentence with thank you's and pleases
i never knew i'd grow to be so **** meek
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next week

troubles and failures are piled and bunched
eating stale potato chips for breakfast and lunch
i feel like i'll never be able to get up
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next month

crank open the hatch and pour down the beer
never got the concept of saying "cheers"
my muddled thoughts are always clouded by useless fears
but then again they say i'll inherit the earth next year

In the beginning
The sky shines bright
To the end

I only want your body
Your soul is secondary
It wasn't always that way
But love is scary

So text me your address
I'll be there when I can
Just wear that white dress
The color of beaming, pure light

Unlike our attraction
Forged in vanity and some pain
Something's gaining traction
Things will never be the same

I said what I said
And I smiled while I did
This skin you caused to shed
It's my birthday, and I'm a kid

Don't send me plummeting
Like so many before you
Right now the band is trumpeting
Hesitations that were many are now few

Can't help but feel I'm setting myself up
Aligning the bomb with my body
I always said that even if I tried, I couldn't give a ****
But now you've got something on me

The wind blew
In and took whatever it pleased

The houses and cars
The hopes and dreams

The people flocked to corners and
Gas stations and the homes of those unaffected

But the damage was done
And the price was paid

The only thing to do now is wait
Wait and see

For when Mother Nature thinks it's time
Everything must go and even words that make no sense
Must still come together to rhyme

I don't care
for *******.
You talk and
I don't hear it.
Blah, blah, blah,
just close your mouth.
Wah, wah, wah,
all you do is pout.

When I step foot on the concrete
It seems to dissipate
Sliding back and forth
Everything is on vibrate
The world collapses in
And expands out
There is no peace, no sin
Every whisper is a shout
Echoing

Look up at the sky
And I don't see
I only feel
What is and what can be
Trees reach for me
And I touch them
With fingertips of gold
It's all made of solid gold

And then switch
There is no money
No future of life
Just like pouring honey
It all seems too sweet
Thank you, I think
To myself, no one knows
How grateful or enlightened
I am when reaching for those
Gold trees
With
Gold
Finger
Tips

I get so confused
Sometimes

When I put my pen to the paper in front of me
It moves
And it doesn't stop
It doesn't stop for a long time
A very
Very
Long...
Time

Other times
I put my pen to the paper in front of me
And
It just
Doesn't have
Any idea
Whatsoever
It's expected to do

I don't know
I really don't
I think my goal
Well, a goal
Atleast
Is to figure out
How in the Hell
To get my pen
To perk it up
To set it on it's little course
Across this
Clean
White
Sheet
Of
Paper

i remember when things were fresh and new
back when it was only about me & you
we lived our lives without looking back
but we were vulnerable to every single attack
no one understood what we were about
and it was okay cuz we were on our own cloud

keep looking back and fall flat on your face
i grew eyes on the back of my head just for this place
knew someday it would come to this
but before now i never gave a ****

you are the mist, a ghost, and an illusion
the queen of all of my insecure confusion
all i asked was that you take my hand and breathe
breathe with me and then maybe you'll be able to see
look at this monster hanging above my head
from the ceiling it watches me in my bed