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When you're thinking of doing
but you're toing and froing
knowing that toing and froing
is a Victorian phrase and
digressing doesn't help.

So we say
it's on the to-do list
and it is until we scribble it out
because we know
to and fro
is what we do best.
research is kind, we have tried many colours.


we ate the cake, yet not wishing to appear
greedy left a crumb.
for a bird.
Is this what it feels like.

pruning the roses
cutting the grass
endless tea breaks
will these things pass?
I have this friend
And boy, her life is hard
Compared to her mom
My dad is normal
Her dad died
About two years ago
And she has autism
What a life

I invited her over today
To play some board games with friends
And then sleepover
And she said yes
She also said that tomorrow was her birthday

I want to be a good friend
But I don't know what to do
Talking to her is hard for me
I want to ask her about her life
But I don't want to make her uncomfortable
I want to laugh
But I don't know what about

I want to make it fun for her
She deserves it, after all
But how?

I will do my best
It's all I can do
But I'm still stressed
Though I don't want to
Not sure
But I love the idea
of She as a Goddess.
They're telling me,
don't drink you'll sink
but
I think it helps to
keep me afloat.

Not too much to
be out of touch with what's going on
or maybe another one to help me
to sleep.


I will wake
if God is willing
whatever my will.
there is always that self-destruct mode.
No soft lullabies for this rage,
no bedtime tales for the scars.
Her rebellion, a waltz in combat boots,
spiked with grunge, venom, and a scream
that split the dawn like broken glass.
No lowering of voices—
it was them who whispered ******
while she carried the weight of silence,
their pills clutched in cold fists.

Madness was no surrender,
no white flag to psychiatrists
and their bottled truths.
She danced instead,
barefoot with demons that knew her name,
their laughter a dirge,
their touch as real as chains.

Words slithered into mirages—
truth, lies, all indistinct,
a love once pure now shadowed,
a muse now bound by sleepless nights
and post-traumatic hymns.
Our Lady of Sorrows bled for a flock
that prayed in her shadow,
kneeling in borrowed guilt.
But when she bled,
no one looked.

Plans drawn in whispered ink—
a razor’s edge,
a promise of release.
Love, a phantom now,
its face distorted with time,
matured, stretched thin by distance.
The scream of silence grew louder,
and demons conversed until the sun rose,
its light bruising the horizon.

She was no saint.
She forgave no trespasses.
But as the dawn burned anew,
there lingered a pulse,
a faint rhythm of hope—
love not redeemed,
but waiting,
coiled like a spring
for the next dance.
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