Am having to rethink everything, it's been years since your passing and in failing to deal with the pain I've let myself believe that I would never be the same being I was before I knew you. I've let the misery of your departure take control and watched myself as I fall into a pit of depression, one manic decision after another has led me to a disastrous life. I miss you with all that I am and I wish you never had to go away and leave me alone. It feels strange now that am finally reimagining who I am without you.

So it seems you sit in your deepest wound
what to do, dear
what to do except
be extra kind to it
so that it
finally
may heal

Your words are like a bitter juice I can't swallow
Stuck there, Hanging in mid-air
I can't understand it
It rings in my ears again and again
But it makes no sense
My mind is becoming numb from hearing your voice
Like eating something so spicy you can't feel your tongue
Like your fingers on the coldest day of winter
You keep touching them yet it feels like their not yours
Like not feeling a cut
But when I realized it
It was too late
The cut was bleeding out
It felt like you pressed a lemon against it
And rubbed the salt in
~10/4/21

he brings me peace
wrapped up in love
his love is tender sweet
we fit together as hand in glove

he knows just such
to soothe me right
and when I need his touch
to be strong with might

he found me blue
bruised petals torn
knew what to say and do
to chase away my forlorn

he has ruined me now
for any other ever
with the love he endows
a bond too strong to sever

he is more than a good man
my respect for him grows
depend upon him I can
as he can me he knows

the love he gives is so good
forever my heart his to keep
at last love manifest as it should
forever I am his little meep

© J.C.

Most of us do not reach the intended destination in life because our boats are steered  by pirates.