I've never felt more like a traitor
than with your back facing mine like this.
my father told me that he would always love me
but he does not tolerate a liar
and this feels like the biggest lie I've ever told.
but I can't seem to get myself to pick up the phone
or come clean about everything I've ever done
and so I do what traitors do best,
and I lie, and let you love me for who you think I am

You were never white noise waiting to be interrupted,
you were the big bang,
you were everything that was right in the world
and I've been trying real hard to forget that.
I've been trying hard to forget about the way you laugh
and how your eyes shine in the sunlight
or how you dance
and your hair falls across your face
screaming I don't care
because that night we didn't,
Its as if life right then had begun,
not with silence but with a big bang
and I just want to forget that.

If you ask me...
The stars have been disappearing one by one since you stopped answering my texts
And my car veers a little towards your street whenever I pass
even though I know youre not there.
My hands aren't on the wheel anymore
and I can hear the brakes screeching but then it's silent
and for a moment.


You love me again

They told me not to love her
But ******* she was beautiful.
The kind of beautiful that reminds you of home.
When you were young and the streetlights were your curfew.
I've been watching them turn on
But I don't know where to go
Because home was her smile, her arms, her.
So I've been sleeping on the street where we used to meet
Hoping she'll turn up
And let me get lost in her puppy dog eyes.
I hear she's with you now
And i know she is so ******* beautiful
But I'm telling you,
Do not love her
Because the streetlights will come on
And you won't know where to go.

I am so **** sick
Of pretending I dont care
About who you are

And i am so sick
Of forever being a
Temporary thought

That leaves your mouth with
The bittersweet tatse of the
Memories we shared

I can hear my watch ticking,
I never noticed it before.
Every thought I think keeps sticking,
on my brain, on my mind, on the walls.

It's rarely silent in this house,
but when it is, it isn't good.
Gets me thinking, freaks me out,
puts me in a terrible mood.

If I keep thinking,
I'll start sinking,
it won't take too long.
Weighted memories pull me down,
and remind me I'm not strong.

It's a cold December,
but I remember,
the days of sun and smiles,
the days we drove for miles,
but now they're gone and they're not coming back.

Because the past is the past,
and it's in the rear view mirror for a reason.
The future holds a brand new path,
and gives me something to believe in.

I remember,
the day you came around,
said you found a man who could treat you right.

And I remember,
thinking all I did wrong,
and how I never really put up a fight.

I remember,
hearing the church bells ring,
never thought a sound could go through a man.

And I remember,
holding onto the notes,
crumpled in my angry, sweating hands.

I remember,
the love you gave me,
you knew just how to take my breath away.

And I remember,
begging, "Lord, please",
right before I handed my life away.