my dreams
they are rekindled nightmares
of my most negative bits of life
they move like thick syrup along a cold plate
drawn out slowly with no resolution in sight
bringing me to the edge of madness
and then
I am awakened with a thud
as if I have fallen from the sky

perhaps a mechanism
or some caring soul slapping me into consciousness
to save me from the real dark stuff

I've experienced the other side in many ways
I've been touched
attacked
threatened
I have also heard the gentle voices of distant souls
allowing me a moment of connection  
I am not quite sure how dreams are intertwined
but I am quite sure that they are

I'm walking down a path
And along the way...
I just keep getting stung and bitten.

I'm enduring this path
But is there any point...
If I just keep getting tossed to the ground?

I feel like I'm living in grey.
The things that once made me spiral
Into a mess of tears or jump for joy
Don't seem to have any affect on me.

Im neither happy, or sad.
I'm just in a constant state
Of numbness, and I wish...
I wish I knew if this was the calm
Before an ugly black storm.

I was just so numb,
and the blade pierced my skin
as if it had a mind of its own.
I watched the sad drip away,
All the pain seep out,
in a vivid and bright red.

I have not stood where they have.
I have not struggled as they have.
But I am not ignorant, nor am I blind.
Change must happen,
And I will not stand idly by.