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Nov 2016 · 505
Ecstacy
The other day I realised one more time
The inconsistent and rapid beat on the monitor
I believed it was just my grandmother being happy
I sat there fixed on the monitor as my mother had asked me to
I felt something strange
A joy, an unknown pleasantness embracing grandma
I saw the smile break on her lips
seeing me patient and keen
Though none was there I saw her face
The smile my parents could never see
I was privy to her sole ecstacy in that hospital room
Immediately I too began to smile
Knowing she had befooled her children
To get this much attention
In comfort and love she lay there
With her loved ones beside her
Aug 2016 · 570
She
She
I have hardly seen her once or twice, yet I remember her capturing face, 
patiently she waits for her the local bus everyday, beside the old banyan tree, 
but that day I did not see her. 

I kept wondering all sorts of things but then I left it, 
as i sat for my evening tea it occurred that her face appeared again in my memory 
I looked for her beside the banyan tree yet there was no sign. 

Out of my curiosity and recurrent thoughts about her I stepped to ask 
who the girl was in the nearby roadside tea-stall 
to my surprise the vendor just passed the local newspaper 

I stood there blinking and shocked not able to grasp 
On the front page in bold was written AN ACCIDENT NEAR THE BANYAN TREE at 6.30 am 

I could no more fathom that she had visited me before she left this world 
She could not tell me yet she made me think of her through unknown emotions 
I wonder she too missed me that day standing beside the banyan tree.

© jasmine fernandez 2016
Aug 2016 · 377
A strange glimpse...
On the door step,I sat looking out 
Out into farthest distance as my eyes could carry me 
Me, is it possible at all I wondered
As I wondered a strange apparition broke out in the sky 
In the first instance I shuddered to think it was real 
It was real, a live unicorn 
A live unicorn beautiful and showcasing it's strength and majesty.

© jasmine fernandez 2016
Jul 2016 · 449
There is no light there.
When the streets turn dark
Someone  holds out a lamp for you to walk through
You follow its flaying light till the end and no more it can burn for you
You turn and suddenly realise it's again darkness
You walk on and step on stones and pebbles
get hurt on the soles of your feet When the streets turn dark
Someone holds out a lamp for you to walk through
You walk too far to realise the lamp is no more there waiting for you.
Darkness, light, path
May 2016 · 500
it is following me
every second passes ticking with it my heart keeps throbbing
up and down
my mind speeds through a jet to catch hold of moments and memories that seemed to last for an eternity
stopping at certain intervals lingering with pleasantness and some with a quick step forward avoiding a pervading melancholy
breathing increases every moment trying not to loose hold of my body
thoughts cloud me to just stretch my every moment of presence here in the now to take charge and foster virtuous deeds

trying not to focus it but it encounters me in every step that i take
reminding every other thing i do with serious consciousness
every fresh air i breathe for the first time seems so precious
all the vastness of love seems suddenly never enough to enjoy and return
i encounter its shadow crouching beside me every other motion i take
a footprint accompanying my every deed and word
i feel so much indebted for all and grateful to experience all that i could not have had i not been given a chance.

still staring outside i am slowly preparing
to leave everything behind
to part-with all my luxuries, abundant gifts
and still be happy and contend when i look back
if ever it is possible.
time# love#reality#death
Mar 2016 · 822
What pain is
When you can feel it, but unable to express it
When you cherish it's softness, the tenderness from which it comes
Yet pleasurable to experience more of it,
Because if it is never experienced there is no love,
The beauty of love is pain,
Both intermingled and it's so subtle to differentiate the two,
For the Harmony of it brings the rhythm
The missing and the pain, the feeling that it can never be consumated yet the in depth of heart it still exists
It is a melody a very slow one without which I would never live today
It's the memory, the shared little things that holds me together,
The knowing that you are happy at another 's hands is itself a joy
For in your smile I live
I live in every thing you do,
The care you give, though I may not be there yet it is so wonderful to know you cherish the values we shared together,
Every little mistakes we committed and corrected and the coordination with which you made me write a story
A story that has so many colours
And for bringing back to life
The energy and the zest for life
The little things you told will itself sing as a song
For in that song lives a life
A life that wants to still live
For in your happiness I live.
In memory .
Mar 2016 · 783
Interrogating responses
Holding the poetic sword

Started reflecting on the much-divided heart

Into a brain storming question

Should responses be elicited

Or simply succumb to a passive slavery

Heart unleashed into two divided answers

One to confront with strong resolution

And the other to run away in steady flights

Duty towards society beckoning

Fear of being judged resisting

Mind unfurled its reasoning and logic

Voice it on one side and no you will be nailed on the other

Emotions played its music on

Be a humanitarian it sung its song

No you will get entangled into a web of trouble echoed logic self

Confused the body stood still

And then performed its decision

Interrogating such a response

The heart and mind stood in reconciliation.
let the wind wash my face
I want to live for a moment
pause and take in all
that life has to offer

let the seas send its message of love
I want to hear it again and again
slow down and hold in my arms
the message of what is the purpose of my life

let the leaves rustle
to produce a symphony
of the secret of happiness
I want to skid a bit and enjoy its beauty

let every drop of rain touch my skin
revealing its texture and feelings
that reflect its transparent quality
refracting the wonder and beauty of the world

let us move our feet to feel all sand under our feet
and consciously know the different particles
variety richness of its finesse
and admire the great art of the creator

let us move on
exploring and enjoying the richness of the world
find out the purpose of our lives
and remind ourselves again and again.

let us love ourselves and take a little time off
a little drop of everything
the softness of flowers, the fragrance of the earth after the first rain.
let us remind ourselves to move on but love ourselves a bit.

let us love, love a little
take our time stop to pause
and love ourselves and reflect our love for others
let us move on and fall in love...
Feb 2016 · 603
Quest
Take a few steps to make a high leap
Fall many a time but get up and continue
Hop a bit, stroll a bit, run a bit
It's not the method that is important
However tired and shabby it becomes
Life is a quest to learn new things
Each time you fall and get excited
When new chapters are written
But in this infinity path the little and the great trials matters
As each polish and mould every thought we take
While still making evident the wonderful and diverse pleasures of the world
To be perfect is an utopia but to strive to experience variety is a quest a longing that stretches and pushes us towards the meaning of life.
Life is a quest to be explored not to be conquered for conquering ends the endeavor. It is a continuous learning.
Feb 2016 · 410
.....,
Thank you all....for all valuable criticisms and liking my poems which edges me to write more..
Thank you once again....
The world is so connected and indeed, it is not in many ways,
From newspapers to the internet, social networking sites to video calling and last but not the least telephonic calls.

We are so absorbed in the world that exists not as a tangible reality,
that we forget the ones seated next to us,
to smile at our friends we forget or we don't realise
but find time in all the world to smile at a WhatsApp message or a Facebook chat.

We miss the chances to care and help others in real world
while we make panels and help groups on social sites,
And work ******* promoting  stressing and straining to make things work.

We forget our loved ones while trying to find new loved ones
through distant chords and invisible strings of a virtual world.

It is indeed right we learn of cultures and diversity
and acknowledge most kinds and varieties
forgetting the very near and very much wanted.

It is a difficult question as we are still gestating in a world of virtual reality
far fetched from the perceivable reality
if we still wanted to continue as such.
But the truth is that we are more connected by this umbilical cord of illusionary virtual global connectedness  that we block real realities in the dawn of it.

We are not ready to be reborn with more sensitive capabilities,
to transform and reunite and catch hold of our lost sensibilities and sensitivities
to save our world from being so disconnected.

Is not it time that we did redesign a new world
Where love and care
Warmth and tenderness reign.

Is it not time that we stop and stoop to hold our old world and yet conceive of a new world integrated
With technology and live side by side
And weave a wonderful life for us.
The other day was quite different for me, as I was reminded of my old notebooks,
The sketches that adorned the edges of each page and ton's of scribbled messages, I went hunting for those old books in my huge collection of books, usually, I never get back to the things I left years ago, colorful name slips and neatly covered books they still carried the elegance that was left of my mother's artistry, I could visualize how for hours she went on cutting the brown papers and neatly covering them and me on one side happily sticking colorful name stickers , as I turned an old book found the big curvy 'and 'f' that echoed the little gal, leafing through the pages I could draw a million stories, stories of my friends and teachers and all our school days, the day at the lemon juice vendor when Achu got dysentery and so many faces popped before me alive, many laughing giggling girls and boys, all had their happy little faces the excitement of a great joke,
the next was a tiny italicized scribbling, I scrutinized it for a moment then it occurred it was Anu's handwritten message that she is leaving for another city, while all these years I went on thinking where she disappeared, I had forgotten to check my notebook, I had missed her for years and always thought one day I would find her, after all, these years of hiding, she appeared suddenly on my pages!
Jan 2016 · 551
Why you don't love...
There are a million reasons to say you don't love, but a million others to prove you do so,why is it that you deny saying it, is it a trick or a magic spell, to deny is to hide who you are, but the trouble is when it just reflect in your actions, there are a lot of ways you can hide them and a lot more excuses to tell you have never been before,but is it because of the fear that you run from love or the want that you graciously hide to look perfect, or is it a sad story of yourself or a friend that lurks behind whenever you think of love,is it just a veil that you don't love or truly can you be without love...
Jan 2016 · 507
Imaginary night
The dark blue sky melds with the white speeding clouds, flying as fast as they can to catch the frolicking rain children.
Beneath a beautiful guava tree, they start fighting and they split like amoeboids into three little amoeboids, circling and dancing to the tune of the wind the dark clouds come rushing and joining them.
Heavy and larger they grow they can't stand anymore and starts pelting huge drops of water in a green garden valley washed by the sea and locked by its rocky steep on one side and tiny huts arranged like rows.
Little children run out of their homes carrying paper boats full of joy and welcome
Farmers smile and housewives keep busying for the rain has blessed their land.
Darker and darker the night drew to a close and slowly
Prayers issued from the tiny huts and people watched with joy and thankfulness for this much awaited imaginary night once again
Where famine and drought come to a close.
Jan 2016 · 1.2k
Think body?
When we are sick
Our body suddenly appears as a conscience
Creating unease and pain
A burden uncontrollable yet much
thought about
The realization of its materiality
And the existence of the physical becomes more clearer
The mind and body separates into a two winged subject
As both separate and intimate existence
One that depends on the other and vice versa
This new rythmic thoughts go on.
A body, a presence is felt for the first time.
This conscience of the body awakens in us only when we are totally or partially sick.It spreads like a pain and for the first time realise we exist with our bodies which we take for granted.
Jan 2016 · 984
Tailor 's daughter
Laces that blew along with the wind
Draped around her body that defined her
A beauty carved by nature
She smiled at her friends and laughed at their jokes
Worked hard over every lesson
And also became the college beauty.
Twirling laces and silky frocks adorning her slim body and reflecting a grace that never could be denied
Simple but ambitious at heart
She fluttered her lashes many a time
To catch the attention of the smartest man in her batch
Though coyly posing she sought the attention of many a man  
Sole for the smartest man.
Many a man came for her hand but
She kept on waiting and waiting
Realising her flaw she worked day and night
Covering her lessons, reading many philosophers,
She worked hard and the day of exam was declared
Focussing on her points and shortlisting her methods she systematically covered her portions
Delighted she waited for the hour
The teacher distributed the question sheet and the time ticked by
Cautiously she wrote her answers one by one
She handed her paper and walked out
To her surprise she saw the smartest guy lost in thoughts
When the result was declared
The Tailor's daughter stood first
Unable to grasp she stood silently meditating
The smartest guy without hesitating for the first time noticed her and passed a smile
She jumped with joy conquering her dream
the tailors daughter walked dangling her plumet, velvet clothes floating with laces
and the mild wind kissing her her silky woven dress
and soft brown skin she trotted to the tailor's shop.
Jan 2016 · 1.0k
Memories
Memories capture the moments of life,
Both joys and sorrows like within a frame,
But memories can never die.

You may lose the person,
Or may never see again but moments of life stay
As memories forever.

Some memories haunt
Some make us laugh
While others remind of the silly things done
Be it laughter or pain
Memories never die.

Learning to let go is fine
But then life is not simply to let go
If it had been about letting go
What is the point of ever meeting someone

Memories are there
To remind us of something lost or won
Time flows like a river
Days never standby
Memories capture the moment
And stays forever in life


Memories never die.
Jan 2016 · 423
Be little
Sitting on the first bench stretched with keen attention,
Writing down the points went on and in,
As the church Bell struck two
I was made to stand and answer,
Lost in the depth of question
Blinking I stood wondering how I could solve
One or two started laughing loudly
And gigling in-between
Be littled I stood there staring at the question.
Sometimes being a little and getting belittled coincides.This is how it merged for this little girl.
Jan 2016 · 726
Obsession
I take a pen to sit and write, fumble for words, then proceed,
heart's darkest feelings elevated, make it a point to spell, things taken for granted,
never felt better at the performance, satisfied and relished at the fact pen is mightier than  a sword,
could voice the deepest anxieties never voiced, enjoyed the fact I grew strong each day, many a time things are taken for granted, words and actions just to please oneself,
forgetting the fact life is not a competition, to be brute and insensitive,
but to express, to help and live in harmony,
unleashing this magic wand of writing, I imagine would entrap a few to pause and think, and then move on in their endless journey.
Many a time it becomes difficult to physically or verbally fight for many injustices.Writing is an easier way out. It opens up thoughts that reflect on one's deeds and actions.
Jan 2016 · 966
Unspeakable
She stood there quivering,
Then about to speak the unspeakable,
Unbinding her tongue she opened her mouth
With a few words and a quaint sob escaping her mouth
Stood there blinking
Not knowing what to speak pain unfurling her heart
She looked at his eyes directly but could not even sound her pain
In anger he broke the silence and without any thought
He pulled out his knife and there she stood with her eyes filled with tears
Trying to speak what she couldn’t express
With her tongue out she uttered o’er there… and stopped
Lost in anger he cut off her tongue
Without being able to utter she stood unspeakable
For ever hidden
Behind the wound she hid her pain
The culprit walked free
He did not know that behind her pain
Was a greater wound than just this wounded tongue
Her eyes pleading to the cruelty of human heart
She held her heart and head high
Lost in thoughts to tell him of her story
She started writing her diary
Often up from her bed late at night
She dotted many a line
Words filled day by day
Lost in pain and writing
She finally grew out of it
Learned that her body is just a sheath
Beneath its layers lies a deeper soul
Untouched and full of promise
Weeks passed by and months followed
And she was fully ready
To tell her story of pain
Nobody was interested
But she parceled her diary to him
He had missed her a lot
And he knew it was his loss
Then this new turning
Surprised he stood in silence
He had her gift
Unbinding he was so eager
To reach for its content
To his surprise it was her diary.
Leafing through the pages
A thousand words buzzed his head
Not knowing what to do
His hands started shivering
And the last page turned open
I was ***** and the man is o’er there
It echoed: oe’r there, oe’r there
Realizing his mistake he cried out his heart aloud
He had wounded her double
Knowing now why it was unspeakable
How hard it was to speak
He begged her forgiveness

With a smile on her lips and warmth in her heart
‘Unspeakable’ she stood watching him.
-------------
"The above poem was triggered by a newspaper article that pained her so much, that she felt at once the need to write."

— The End —