The lamp's glow
Across his face
Brought out
The dimples
I hadn't noticed.

He whispered that
I was beautiful.
In those moments,
I almost believed him.

I almost believed the way
He kissed my shoulders.
Almost fell for his
Disheveled curly hair.
Almost wished I could
Watch him
Rub his eyes
And brew his coffee
Each morning.

Almost.
What a pathetic word.
It insinuates that we were
Close...
But not quite there.
Just didn't reach
The mark.

I said that
He was attractive,
And that his shirt
Didn't need to stay on.
He almost believed me.
Almost.

The framed sign where I work says "smile it's time to be happy"
I see it every single day, it's so freaking sappy
I look at it in disgust
A simple sign that means so much

It reminds me of all I want, but can't obtain
Everyday it leaves me feeling a bit more drained
A bit more inhumane, a bit more broken
It's sad how it makes me feel, this simple token

Somedays I want to rip it off the wall
I'll just tell them it got broke in the fall
Other days I pray it will come true
Then I would be happy just like you

But still there it hangs
And every day it says the same
Made to endure it's mocking words
I know to others my rant seems so absurd

But in the belly of the beast it's impossible to smile
When drowning in all this bile