Tall as perception
Short as rejection
Student
Boyfriend
Son
Brother
Strong as a memory
Weak as your grip
Surprise
Warm
Friend
Teacher
Sore as his knuckles
Cozy as her bed
Loving
Smiler
Laugher
Care taker
Smart as potential
Dumb as expectations
Faker
Crier
Lier
Fighter
Hot as lust
Cold as isolation

If you hate me for my burning hair please forgive my eyes
If you cringe at the sound of my voice remember the waves of my face
I'm sorry I'm a ghost to you, a nightmare of mistakes, missed chances and empty "I love yous"
But I'm sorry I'm backwards, I only know the man not the ghost

I'm the spirit that screams, the spirit that shouts, hit me with your bad dreams, I will come at you the way I met you, with empty stares and ***** dishes
You smash my nose in and hear my apology for the blood on your shoes but now I'm too old for apologies and too strong for blood, keep on hitting that face in the mirror see how it distorts for you
I'm sick of your never ending post script, your weightless "I'm sorries" and your empty stares ps ******* and **** me for building hopes so you could watch them tumble down
I hate mirrors to, not for your beloved past but my ugly future

I taste bile when you grate my name out
Please please for ***** sake leave me alone
I'm not shaking cuz of the weather, my body is trying to take flight, fight isn't an option
Your breath smells like dusty years  and sucker punches
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I'd cut myself but you already covered me in indifferent scars
I wish you hit me harder when I was small, because old bruises protect you from new ones
I'd say you let me down but you dropped me when my voice cracked, and anyone can hold up a baby

Darlin Ophelia come a little closer
There is witchcraft in your hips, let me into your bubble, I don't care what trouble you boiled baby I need to be spoiled
Find your way back into my bed, cough that water up and let's jump into the dark
You leave me stumblin for a step stttutterin for a word, and the shape of your legs makes me slur

I'm not smart enough for the path that resists the least, so I slog up this hill till my fingers are russet nubs
My eyes are blind to the truth, so i keep climbing up this vertical mountain
Hopefully I will learn after another sharp regret tumbles down and splits my skull
But i never was a fast learner
One foot in front of the other
One foot in front of the other till you forget why you're moving
One foot in front of the other if you say it loud enough you forget the shackles that stumble my steps

The vibrations of dreaded expectations shake the sleep off before it can even hold me
Your cigarettes have burned holes in me and your bottles have shattered in my eyes, leaving my blind and screaming
but for you I swallow those screams and wipe the blood off my scared face
I will say the red that stains my hands is from digging into my chest and that look on my face is born from the realization that my heart dying and red in front your eyes is better than the sight of singed arms