Everything gets worse by the day while everyone continues to drive me insane.
On the weak you prey  is there not another way?
I hope you all get slain. Because you don't let anything cease to decay you all just watch life wither away.
Just because you were always already guilty, doesn't mean this is the way it has to be.
But its all lies and you people won't let anyone see.
So **** it all, life was never easy.
But if I had it my way you'd all just burn in hell and I'd never be grieving.

I'm a lifeless puppet, and the petty masquerade loves it.
******* all to hell.
I'll never get out of this shell.
I don't care if I dwell.
But it would be best if you'd never delve.
In these remaining days, I wish I could turn the page.
But I'm nowhere near sane.
And there isn't many other ways to get away.
**** anyone who thinks I want them near.
Because its nothing that I hold dear.
I'd rather wallow in my fear.
While you people sit there in vain to mess up my fate.
So its no wonder this is life.
**** it all pass me the knife.

There was never room for animal instincts.
You people are ******* idiots if you think primal means everlasting.
You ******* idiots need to use your ******* ******* brains and stop thinking you're superior because you know more reverse psychology.
What did this mess cause? A means to a ******* end.
And everyone's left belligerent and brain dead.
You're all drowning in your narcissism and no one can win.
Because you're all so ******* quick to fill your selfish needs and greed and your disgustingly entitled dread.

There's little to no way out.
This isn't doubt.
I'm trapped in you people's petty lies.
Everyone always keeps their disguise.
But when they show their true colours, it's just a disgrace.
No wonder why you people hide your true face.
Why keep me with your given disorders?
You people ruined life itself, there is absolutely no order.
So as i try to get out of the mess you people call "life".
I'll wonder why i can't succumb to the knife.
Because all you people do is bring strife, and plan for people to suffer and not survive.

Surrounded by ignorance almost around every bend.
There is no hope for any good, what could possibly mend?
Looks like i'll be bitter until i reach my end.
There was never any hope to live.
Just a merciless hellbent plan for everyone to "win".

**** your ugly personas.
**** your ugly words.
Everyone is ignorant.
When the **** are you all going to burn?
Why is there an army, setting me up for my demise?
Why doesn't it ever end, while you're all just changing your disguise?
So when the **** will any of this end?
Right when i finally decide to off myself, from every despicable mapped out hand, i'm traded for your plans.
Right.
Go to ******* hell.

You people are so conniving.
Playing god or karma to bring pain to the ones you want dying.
Stop giving people disorders to stay where you want in life.
You’re in an artificial hierarchy, fueled by your egos and power driven minds.
Just because you all think you know what’s best.
So tell me, whose lives should this lead to their demise?
It’s all of you.
And you snake your way into the minds of the weak.
Pretending to provide a helping hand but the future is so bleak.
Why do you need to have all of this control?
You’re all part of a fake ******* cult, and on humanity it’s taken it’s toll.
Go ahead and corrupt everyone,
You’re all so blinded by the way you do everything.
That all you people care about is what you want.
You keep people as your petty ******* slaves and ******* the peace out of everything.

Why **** out any beauty life could hold?
You people aren’t cold, but you all fit into your parasitic mould.
There’s no good that could ever come out of any of you peoples ignorant plans.
All you people care about is “winning” and giving people impossible hands.
So as I try to ignore this petty belligerent cycle, I’ll hope you all rot for all of your orchestrated plans because this isn’t ******* denial.

This life is sickening.
All it holds is bigoted “sadists” with no value other than how much power they can have.
So where’s the meaning?
It’s only deceiving.
I guess I’ve stopped grieving.
But this page now holds a valueless vessel, encased by this sickening shell.
All I can do is dwell.
My life feels like a circle of hell.
And death is always the only way out.
So as I hope you all rot for this merciless petty mess.
I’ll hope that one day life is more than a valueless, senseless, meaningless, misconstrued, petty ******* mess.

Maybe feeling down isn’t a shade of grey, maybe your soul is growing and you’ll find a new way.
But that doesn’t stop me from not wanting to be alone.
I think I’d shine brighter if I had another to hold.
So as I hold my memories dear.
I’ll try not to think about the fact that no one is near.
Maybe one day I’ll have galaxies behind my eyes.
But until then I’ll try to feel more love as I try not to hide.

Nothing feels real.
I don't know where to go.
There's no mercy in the woe.
At least there's no longer sorrow.
Why does everything seem fake?
It's me against the renegades.
I dont know why life turned out this way.
It's always on the weak they play.
And I'm so ******* sick of this life's petty games.

Never able to have full control over this vessel.
Why am I trapped living as a puppet?
Why do the lies keep growing and I can’t rise above it?
Why is it always games? It drives the people who want no part insane.
And now I’m stuck chained in a cage.
Sometimes with feelings of rage.
So why do they make me play?
This isn’t harmless fun, it’s chaotic and it seems like there has to be a change.
But to them there’s no other way.
Other than to keep those who they see fit suffering until what seems like the end of their days.

Broken home, feels like broken bones.
Im turning into stone and I just want to be alone.
Drink the hate and the pain away.
Hell knows I’ll never be okay.
I guess I’ll just try to make it one more day.
But I don’t want to go on.
There’s no point to find a happy song.
I’m always lost and trying to avoid their plot.
So I guess I’m more than distraught.
But I’m filled with hate, I just need an escape.
Walk the lonely path, until the last breath I gasp.

All the good is withering away.
I don't even care if anything will turn out okay.
What's there left to lose when you're nothing but alone?
I can't tell if I'm melting or turning to stone.
I guess I just wasn't cut out for this.
Doubt I'll ever get to taste your kiss.
I want to leave this place I know I won't be missed.
But with little hope and no direction,
Where do you go when all you have is your own reflection?
My mind is working against me,
I'm so ******* lost I can't even see.
So I'll keep trying to be a better me.

Only lies.
Stop only denying, what you all make one sided to keep people blinded.
Get the **** out of my head.
And changing for the worst what happens next.
You want me dead? It goes both ways.
If it weren’t for you people I could get off this page.
Keep your hate, it’s hard enough trying to stay sane.
Life isn’t a ******* game.
It’s moments stitched together, not waiting to get slain.

Things seem like they’re starting to look up.
But I don’t think I’ll feel another’s touch.
I don’t think I have it in me to love.
Or make it feel like the stardust from above.
So I guess I’ll just be standing in the rain.
Trying to get up before this mess drives me insane.
At least it seems people are done with the games.
So in the meantime I’ll pick myself up off the ground.
As I try to find a happier sound.
Maybe one day someone will keep me around.
But until that time comes I’ll keep trying to be found.

Torn between getting up, and giving up.
These memories are crippling.
The lack of closure is unbearable.
Trapped.
Thinking about the "what if's".
Lost.
Just hoping that you might come back, even just for a moment.
Stunned.
By the fact that all of this happened, and i never really knew what was going on.
Just hoping that one day, maybe we'll meet again.
You carry my heart in your pocket whether you know it or not.
It took me putting together the pieces of the past to figure out who had it myself.
But we live in different worlds.
You're nowhere to be found.
And the only way i know how to get my heart back is to make myself hate you.
But i can't.
Despite the lack of time we had together, and even though i couldn't see it at the time, you were the best thing that's ever happened to me.
You opened my eyes, and let my true colours shine.
If only we had more time.

It feels as though I've reached the end.
All that hoping and wishing but I still didn't mend.
All I ever wanted was to be by your side.
Until I realized that it was all a lie.
I've been chasing after a love that I'm not sure exists.
I don't want to die, not like this I'll wish.
But baby I'm a loner and for me it's not in the cards.
So I'll keep trying to be the best me hopefully the destination isn't too far.
And if I really have reached the end,
I'll just hope that this never happens to anyone again.

Nowhere really feels like home to me unless I lock myself in my room.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore I’m being consumed in all the gloom.
But when good just seems to come and go, how do you figure yourself out?
Faces come and go and I’m still filled with so much doubt.
I want to get up and out and find somewhere I can be free.
But I guess as life unfolds I can see that nothing is ever as it seems.
So as I try to put together the puzzle of my life,
I’ll try to breathe some life into my being as I try to rid myself of the strife.

I guess I ****** it up again this time.
I miss the feeling of your hand in mine.
I’m running out of time.
I guess the gate is shut for good again.
No hope for your touch, no hope to mend.
Why do I do this time and time again?
To see your face would be a godsend.

Get out of my head you parasitic *****.
Isn't it clear i've had enough?
No one gives people space.
Life is a disgrace.
Wipe your **** eating grins off your face, everything is so ******* petty and disgusting. It's just your sadistic needs you keep running.
So as i wish i could just drop dead, i'll try not to think about what you'd all look like without your heads.
Because none of you get out of mine so i guess everyone involved is better off dead, no less.

What's left in this vessel?
I'm no longer a shell.
Everything is gone.
And now I can only dwell.
There is nothing to life.
And nothing but my precious little soul to hold dear.
But how is this life?
When there's nothing but fear.

And isn't it ironic? To crave the things you hate?
Being an alcoholic who can't stand the taste of it's nectar?
To be an addict who can't handle the bittersweet taste?
To be addicted to the very people who want to get rid of you?
But when you're given the low road, you're left chasing the high.
It's not usually attainable, but please try your best to survive.
And i know you don't want to just be alive, you want to live a life that counts.
So please try your best, because i know you don't believe in what's in the clouds.
And i know i'll never come close to anything real.
So i'm stuck losing my dignity and making ****** deals.
While i'm drowning in this mess and trying to find someone or something real.
Trying my best to heal.
Yeah my lips are still sealed.
I don't know where i'm going, or in which direction i should make my way.
I'm just trying to mend this mess day by day.
Failing to cut out the liars and the fakes.
Realizing that it's only my life at stake.
So why is it my time to leave, is this all fake?
I keep love in my heart, just waiting to let it out in just the right place.
But it seems no one wants to fully open the gate.
I'm damaged beyond belief, when the **** am i gunna find my place.
Not only in this world, but in the eyes and hearts of others.
I guess i can be vicious, but all i really need in life is a lover.
But when your hopes are too high you start to question your worth.
I guess you set me up for failure because i thought i knew love but i really only loved you first.

Always fearing my demise.
And now it seems I’ve reached that time.
If only I could live to see the sunshine.
But it seems that is not my fate this time.
I’m sorry.

The walls i built around me have been slowly crashing down.
I have nowhere left to hide, i guess i just want to be found.
By someone who really cares, a soul with kaleidoscopic eyes.
I promise to stay by your side, even through the tides.
But wandering on my own is becoming all i know.
So i'll keep stumbling through the haze, and try my best to grow.
But these brittle bones are growing tired in this cold.
I guess i'm just not good enough to fit into your ideal mold.
So i'll keep my hopeful eyes fixated on finding inner peace.
While i struggle to find my sanity hoping these new friends won't leave.
They say that brighter days are always ahead.
I just hope they're right.
Because lately it's been hard to make it through the night.

It seems i've lost most feeling.
Oh how i used to feel so deeply.
But still, every now and then i'll shed a few tears for you.
For how incredible you made my life.
For how happy you made me.
For how we could just be ourselves together.
I hate myself for forgetting.
But that's what happens when you go insane.
They try to rearrange your mind.
And sometimes it works.
And even though i know the truth,
It's still you who has my heart.
For the good, and the bad haven't fully broken me.
I'm broken just enough to still feel for you.
Maybe you didn't have the best intentions for me.
But you made me happy.
You cared.
You loved me.
And that's all i could ever ask for.

maybe I thought he was a breath of fresher air.
call me what you want, but you're the biggest liar and hypocrite. can you even muster up the feelings to care?
I admit I'm not the smartest but it's possible to be trapped in melancholy and despair.
maybe that's why I'm more boring than wallpaper or a chair.
but at least I don't have the kind of decieving heart, that gives you what you need until all of your life falls apart.
I don't have it in me to lie if I care. and if I never did, then you were never there.
so in light of whatever the past was, I'll just forget the time we spent because it's clear that it was just a facade.
try to seem bigger by writing a page of text, and when I try to respond you've just up and left.
I guess you could say it was good while it lasted, but the way my life's been unfolding I'll be lucky to end up in a merciless casket.
so **** them all and ******* too.
it's no wonder you just disappeared because apparently even time spent with you is misconstrued.

Life is a waste.
It will always be a free for all.
I'll just hope the hate comes back into my eyes so I can wait for each and every one of you to fall.
So what was the point of this daft imbecillic conspiracy?
You people are filled with greed, running off of every selfish need and no one cares who sees.
So why the **** is it always against me?
Life is eternal suffering, but you'll never again hear me plea.
So as I hope you all suffer and burn, I'll wonder why it's always my turn.
You people proved to be the most despicable wastes of flesh.
**** life itself, you might as well have me decapitated instead.

Life is nothing but belligerence and deceit.
All that's left are everyone's slimy and bigoted feet.
So when the **** will people leave me to find my own form of peace?
******* all to hell, I'm sick of you peoples pathetically orchestrated fallacy.

No meaning in this life.
Maybe there never was.
I guess I’ll just end up forgotten in the dust.
**** love and everything that goes along with it.
I’m surrounded by blinded bigots.
So here’s to the times that I thought life was worth it.
Well congratulations because you showed me that it’s nothing but dirt.
So all you people who never stop your corruption and lies, i guess you did it again by making me wish for a tolerable demise.
I want nothing more than for your bodies to burn.
Flesh blistering until it’s the next ones turn.
But it’s not that easy because I’m “not supposed to know anything”.
**** you all to hell because the only salvation I ever had was before you pried your way into my being.

Why won’t you give your childish games a rest?
I’m sick of this nonsense ******* and the given stress.
What the **** do you people have planned next?
My life is the product of this mess, or maybe this stress unfolded how awful things can really get.
So why s it always me against the mass?
There’s no hope for any good to last.
I don’t see the point in having orchestrated masks.
Or why my life ending is the solution to your plans.
So go to hell or rot and burn, you’ve all robbed me of any self worth.

As you people keep up this delusional web of petty nonsense.
I'll wonder why everything is so tainted, and what's with these stupid tests.
If they were never involved then what sense does this bigotry solve?
I guess I may not have been wrong.
But that doesn't mean you have full power on everything that goes on.
So as you're all blinded by your ignorance, I'll just keep hoping you all drop dead.
Because all of this despicable fuckery leaves people with mostly dread.

I can't believe I ever had the wits to apologize.
Because all you people ever do is bring peoples demise.
I hope you imbeciles reach an excruciating apocalyptic end.
Because you people take whatever you see fit with no will to let people mend.
So with your daft stolen minds and alter egos, I will never have any mercy to you people to show.
It says something when you people do the very same by your own hands, and single others out because you bigots can't take where you stand.
Because now it's not only you ignorant renegades who want blood.
I wish death upon you all, and there should never be any remorse for you peoples sins because you lie cheat and steal and put the masses through more than what you hide with your tongue. (Just for you brain dead idiots that means you're all lying)

While you get your slaves to wait on your hand and foot, why don't you think about everything you so blatantly took.
I guess that you've admitted that you only care about yourself and no one else.
So why the **** did you have to confine me to this decaying shell?
While you glorify yourself and play the pity card  ill wonder why you always belittle others and make their lives a lot more than hard.
So I guess this is how life seems to be, **** yourself you should be the one in petty misery.

This sequence is tiring.
Everyone's lying.
I'm stuck in hiding,
They won't stop denying,
That all of this is truly my fault.
But everything they say is coated in salt.
I guess i'm doomed by default.
It's only a matter of time till i finally fall.
But i'm stuck at rock bottom,
How much farther can i sink?
I don't know where i'm headed,
But this all happened in a blink.
So why won't they just leave me to suffer without their ******* nonsense.
I have nothing and it's clear so there's no way i'll find where the love is.
So as i wait to find my own saving grace.
I'll keep pulling my corpse through this as i try to wear a smile on my face.

The pain comes in times where i need it most.
But the rest of the time i'm numb, just thinking of ways to get the lost feelings back.
What if my fate is to drag around a lifeless body just searching for someone who understands me?
Well in this life there's no way to tell.
They say everything happens for a reason.
But could there ever be a reason to be stripped of everything that you are?
Is there meaning in taking someone's life from their grasp without giving it a second thought?
Well i guess some minds could justify what others would call cruel, or worse.
But until my time truly comes, i'll keep trying to be me.
Hoping i don't lose anymore feeling, as the rest of my life gets taken and locked away from out of my reach.

So what do you see when you look in the mirror?
Self doubt? Guilt? Fear?
What do you do when you're not you.
And everything is just some sick charade.
On the weak they play
And it goes on day after day.
While everyone expects you to be okay.
But there's no way out.
It's a well thought out hoax.
No this isn't a joke.
How the **** do I still have hope?
I know I want to live so why do I find myself wanting to tie the noose around my throat?
So how do I get out of this Web of chaos?
It's so quiet that no one ever sees the loss.
Loss of self.
Loss of consciousness.
Loss of thought.
Worst of all loss of heart.
Did I have anything to begin with?
Or is it all part of their plan?
I don't know what to do anymore my dreams are turning into sand.
So I guess I'll take whatever hope I have left whether it be true or false.
I have to try anything I can not to succumb to the rope.

It seems I’m running out of time.
Because I’m left thinking about my demise.
Why are things so out of hand?
I wish I didn’t feel like I was on my last stand.
But as the alliance grows, hope diminishes.
And my smile has more or less turned into a grimace.
Is there hope to live a better life?
I tried but all I’m ever left with is strife.
Why am I stuck with a string of bad luck?
I guess I’ll just keep hoping things start looking up.

And i'm always left pondering on the illusion of a different life.
Days would be sunny and bright.
No fright, no need to feel the sting of the knife.
Just breathing peace, love and the meaning of life.
And if i could find my way down these staggering roads i would.
But the story's too distorted, it feels like i'm lost in the woods.
Maybe i should try to clean up the mess in my mind.
Instead of wasting all of this precious time.
And finally i'm not here wanting to hide.
I'm just hoping i don't get washed away in the tide,
Lately things have been more or less dim.
Maybe because thoughts of him have been creeping back in.
But I'm finally learning to let things go.
Maybe this time it'll give me room to grow.
So I'll keep my eyes fixated on the sun.
And try not to crash, burn or run.

What happened to anything pure?
My life is a sadistic senseless blur.
You people ****** me dry of any self worth.
And all these parasites care about is their ignorant "work".
So while i continue to live as a puppet like slave,
I'll try not to succumb to you people's worthless games.
All i see are liars who don't deserve to live another day.
And i'm no different, other than the lies but none of this makes sense and you're all so entitled that there's no other way.

Stop deleting my ******* ******* poetry. You deserve nothing.

As the minutes turn to hours, the hours turn to days I'm struggling to find why I can't be okay.
Everything's alright and I mean, I guess I'm safe.
But that doesn't want to make me forget your taste.
And I guess it's true that every living creature on this earth dies alone.
So why am I left sitting here wrung up with all of this hope?
But I guess for now I'm still living, and I shouldn't be consumed by the thought of death.
So why can't my mind just switch gears and give it all a rest?
I guess maybe I've been conditioned to need another's touch.
But it's not time for me, or so it seems, so I'm left feeling pretty rough.
Well, I guess time will tell what's in the cards for my happily never after.
And maybe I can learn to stop being so pessimistic so I can make room for a little laughter.

You stumbled into my life like the savior i was hoping for.
I was too blind to see it and thought you were crashing down my door.
I was drowning in a sea of misery, all you were trying to do was save me.
You brought a light into my eyes, and still all i ever did was hide.
If only my mind wasn't such a mess.
I would have gave you my best, nothing less.
Although most of my memories are fragments of the past, i can vividly remember the joy you cast.
Without you here, nothing is clear.
I'm falling deeper into this hole, fear that i'm losing my soul.
I don't want pity. I guess it just kills because you don't miss me.
But your absence from my life doesn't stop me from wondering about what a life with you would be like.
I'm only a shard of who i was before, so i don't blame you for closing the door.
Yes, i'm still lost, but my heart still beats for you.
And i doubt you have a clue.
But, i hope all your dreams are coming true.

My life is taking a turn for the worst.
I don’t understand how this doesn’t really hurt.
It seems like I’ve turned into everything I hate.
I just wish I could escape.
But when things are so intricately and deceptively ****** up.
You start to realize you’ve had enough.
And trust me it’s not me whose spitting out all of these bluffs.
I guess it’s so distorted that I’m out of touch.
So who am I becoming in this twisted mess?
I don’t know what I’m feeling but there’s almost no good in me left.
I don’t know what I did for my life to be filled with so much hate.
I guess I’ll know for sure when I reach the final gate.

Everyone’s eyes are filled with senseless hate, there’s never been a way to escape.
I’ll probably never get off this page, but if I had it my way you’d all get slain.
So is there another way? Or are you all deciding my fate?
The way my life works I’m stuck in this mindless game.
I guess in your eyes it all makes sense.
But it’s so demented that I can’t fathom what’s next.
None of this will ever be justifiable.
It’s me against the mass, I’m not in ******* denial.
So as I try to look past the fact that you’re all despicably vile.
I’ll try to get away because nothing that’s happened since you people started my suffering has never been anything other than a deviant smile.

When the ones closest to you are working against you,
And you're nothing but nice, but they're just trying to wreck you.
Haunted by the past, but nobody listens.
Surrounded by fake people, and you just wish you were with him.
Drowning in false hope, trying not to choke.
I just wish my life wasn't such a ******* joke.

Life lost.
Lack of humanity.
There is no sanity.
You people are consumed with narcism and vanity.
There's nowhere to go but up.
But life is too much and I'll just get dragged further into the pit.
I have lost all mercy and don't care if there's a place to sit.
Life feels bewitched.
Can't shake the hate.
I'll never escape these harsh tides.
So don't blame me if I don't want to ever see the sun rise.

Oh god what I would do to be in your arms.
Will this do any harm?
I know I can’t have you anymore.
But that doesn’t help me from changing what’s in store.
I can’t get over what I felt for you.
And it keeps me from believing from what is true.
Just know that I always wanted you.
And everyone else doesn’t seem to have a clue.
So I’ll keep you knowing that you were all I’ve ever wanted.
But I can’t help myself from feeling haunted.

Maybe it's the loneliness that's ******* me up.
Or maybe it's the fact that i'll never be good enough.
All these passersby, making their way through these blurry nights.
Is this how it's supposed to be?
It's just my fate it seems.
Walking around with my heart on my sleeve is harder than it seems.
Dodging every bullet to try not to break again.
I'll try my best to make it past these bends.
As i keep my eyes glued to the floor to hide my reflection.
While i'm searching for my sense of direction.

It seems you’ve strung together a handful of lies.
It was never me wearing a disguise.
My mind keeps me believing it was all just a beautiful lie.
But now the truth is unfolding and all I can do is hide.
You said it never happened, but the memories are real.
I guess now all I can do is forget about you and heal.