Jack R Fehlmann

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2020

Untitled

In the fall,

All is first one way

To turn, dry out

Destined to the breeze

Cold down from that

Introspective hell
Of knowing not matching my
Self appraisal

Nov 2020

Shy

Breathe

You were
My sigh of relief
And now
You’re gone
And I’m sitting here
Gasping for air

Nov 2020

Anita

For now

For now-
Go to sleep
And wake up a better person.

#mortality #2020 #sleepless #nights

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2020

Blanket

I want and try so completely
This time to write, to weave
These wishes limited by
words, my words.
hard chosen.
Praying that they will
Fall and wrap lovingly, comfortably,
Forever, and always, around you
As if,.. To be your very own,
Most bestest, favorite blanket.
That they blanket you safe.
And, away.

From the perspective
Eyes like mine
Have come to view...
You.

No longer so nice
Not innocent
Only goodbyes

From the used to
Hold,..
The last, Newest and greatest.

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2020

Utterly hopeless... Unless (4th?)

It has been
A minute...
Hasn't it?

Harsh barbed words,
Of split second,
Split personality
Did, it...

All at once
Though lies Unknown
Can, do,
cause fights

Between the,
guilty...
of sorts absent
From respect,
Lessons.

Limit our thrice
continued, to...
Well, honest is as
Did we. Three.
Or more times
Too in love to accept
Being unwanted
But,...
Love isn't
This burden.
Its Tele-perfect
As box-raised
As I, we,..
Generation X,..
In these matters, not
the other's...

Are, or
Just me?
Third time does it
Over. Done.

Utterly. Hopeless.
Me. I'm starting to get it.
Not that it...
Unless...
Been a minute huh?

What ever, I thought
Folly but more
Once...

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2020

Distractions welcomed

I, when not in motion
Dread being caught in such state
For it is then that my words
And stagnant truths
Do so collect around me
Reminding, all my thoughts
Passed attempts do pool
All progress seems useless
As the lack of purpose continues

Do these waters grow thicker
Efforts then slow as I thrash about
Desperately in search of distraction
As my means of moving on.
Repressed as this is I know
It saves me from drowning
Beneath these pools
my thoughts and closure
Being without you

Jack R Fehlmann Nov 2020

To Find Inside

Doubts weave so easily
Wading into unknown
Ways of doing something new
The weight of others faith
What if misplaced
Terrifying scenes of failing
Weaknesses in me haunting
To do my best is all I do
I am trying and always aware
The consequences of finding
My best as it is found wanting
I am afraid and I
Must keep on trying.
No other choice have I
I will do. I will continue
Trying.