no one ever told me 6.24.25 (4:21 pm / 16:21)
why is it that no one ever prepares you
no one ever thinks you might come to a place like this
that you'll stray off the path and be drawn to the darkest corners of the forest

no one ever explains to you how sadness works
how it clings to you
and you can never shake it off
how it hides and then snaps its teeth bites you
when you dare to be happy

no one ever warns you about panic attacks
how you'll suddenly be dying dying dying
breath gone

no one ever tells you about the dark
how it consumes you
and becomes you
how you become empty
gone
alone

no one every tells you how to be okay
how to stop wanting oblivion death nothing
how to stop cutting
how to be happy

or it seems at least no one ever told me

[playing: second guessing by alina]

beautiful 6.24.25 (4:42 pm / 16:42)
sometimes the world is terrible
horrible and ugly and disgusting

sometimes
rarely
it's beautiful

[playing: sunshine by rainbow frog biscuits and heaven by clairo]

alive for you 6.26.25 (9:13 pm / 21:13)
i like to think i stay alive for you
i like to believe i breathe for you
i like to imagine my heart beats for you

i might be wrong
i'm probably crazy
it's a nice thought, anyways

[playing: the lakes - bonus track by taylor swift]

your footprints are still there 6.25.25 (12:41 pm / 12:41)
your footprints are still there
pressed into the beach
unmarred unmarked unblemished by the tide

you seem endless

i guess there are still happy things
drawing stars in damp sand
saying
i was here

i was here, you were here
i said we share this place now

your footprints are still there
but mine
too close to the water
too close to the relentless currents
they were washed away

the sand says i was never here

[playing: rises the moon by liana flores]

second chances 6.27.25 (3:24 pm / 15:24)
i know i deserve this
i know i did this to myself

but is a second ******* chance so much to ask for

Isolation contaminates my entire being until I'm nothing but a smelly lump underneath blankets trying to hide from scary thoughts

But somehow I'm already there and it still eats me

my scars are beautiful, a map of me
like the one on my knee
from bad poison ivy
the one on my calf
where I was hit with a piece of fence
the one on my left eyebrow, dead center
my personal favorite, prominent in every picture
the one on my chest
from when I fell off my bike
each one is a story
each one is beautiful
scars are lovely

i dont believe you

when you say you love me

I take a stand-in my head
I plan out words I should've said
I wish I could stand up to you
but I stay silent and accept what isn't true
I believe the things you say about me
they cloud my eyes until it's all I see
One day I'll stand up tall
and scream until I finally fall
but it won't be because of you
it will be in spite of you

Hello fellow poets,
Welcome if your new—
Hello to friends Ive made.

I thought I’d let you know,
Im going to camp next week.
So I’ll be gone all week.
With NO access to ANY electronics,
So I won’t post next week AT ALL!
I will post AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
This rest of the week— into weekend.
Love y’all!!
<3  :)
   -Olivia