My therapist told me that I had an addictive personality.
I blew her off thinking it was all *******.
But what I didn't realise was how easy it was for me to get addicted to
No matter what I did it became addictive.
The sight of a certain person.
The thoughts that should keep me up at night.
Now I think about how she right because everything was an addiction, being addicted was just another addiction.
They asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I said an Astronaut. They smiled and said that's cute.
I was 6 then.
They asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I said a Marine Biologist. They laughed and said you'll need to work hard dear.
I was 9 then.
They asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I said an Architect. They smirked and said oh really, that seems pretty far.
I was 12 then.
They asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and I said a Writer. They looked at me and said sweetie you'll never make good money there.
I was 15 then.
If I can't aspire to be what I want to be when I grow up then why bother to grow up at all?
It was nice talking to you, it really was.
If you didn't believe me when I said I wasn't going to try if you weren't going to, you will now, because this is my last goodbye to you.
Hope you have a nice life cause I'm leaving it.
I don't want to know someone who only talks to me when no one else will talk to you, I have enough of that already.
I hope you get all the happiness you want because you were nice enough while I knew you.
I hope you live out your life and you get married and have kids and friends who love you dearly because I know I won't.
I hope you enjoy every minute because you and I both know what hell feels like.
I hope no one treats you like **** and ignores you when you've just really want to talk to them.
Goodbye, it was fun while it lasted.
They prescribe medicine that's supposed to "fix" us,
They create wars that are supposed to "help" us,
They send us to schools to try and "teach" us,
They give us news to "inform" us,
How can I shatter your world without leaving a single scratch?
How can I guilt trip you into making you happy?
How can I make you cry without a single tear?
I ask you to never break my heart.
I ask you to never harm yourself.
I ask you to be careful and cautious.
I ask you to be wise about the people you choose to associate with.
I ask you not to destroy yourself.
*How selfish of me..
Tonights one of those nights where I just cry until I lose consciousness...
I caught this snake, I stared and stared at it
And with it came strange sense of déjà vu
Until I realized it reminded me of you
How quick it was to switch sides
How clever it was, at first I thought it was dead
And those beady eyes, god those eyes, they made me recount every horrible thing I had done.