Nissa

Nissa Dec 2018

I am falling out of it,
You cannot get my soul back.
It is too late,
A door that cannot be opened again,
Shut tightly,
I can never return back,
To the time,
Where we both were in,
No more,
Everything is gone,
Surrounding looks ghastly,
All empty,
There is no more direction.
No turning back.

I just realize that after the break up, both me and my ex can never get back together as friends after all the things we have done. We have messed each other up. Completely and our friendship as well has been tainted. That is frustrating and sad and painful BUT that is life... and reality.

#brokenfriendship

Nissa Dec 2018

Moving On

In my strangest dream,
I can hear myself calling out,
I rush and rush,
But cannot find a way.
I look around,
I see all kinds of nostalgic colours.
I feel the gentleness wrapping around me,
Taking away the coldness in my heart.
I fall for this ecstasy,
Drowning myself in something that will never last.
But it is okay,
Because you know what,
I know I will be fine.
After waking up from this,
I will still be able to see the sun smiling down at me.

The most difficult thing after a break up is to completely move on. The feeling of insecurity if you let go of the sweet feelings but i have learned my lesson to never cling on them for too long. It will drive you mad.

#moving #on

Nissa Dec 2018

You Are like a Drug

One look,
Unsure whether to accept it,
But after one bite,
My mind goes hazy,
It goes in different colours,
Like fireworks.
Baby,
Your love brings magic,
Your embrace leads me into a different world,
Your passionate kiss explodes in my mind,
Like a music blazing off in a club.
Baby,
Your feelings,
Every bit of you,
I cannot stop having you.
Baby, you are like a drug.
A precious drug.

In our relationship, i was addicted to your feelings. I loved how close i was to you. But i have to stop before it becomes something unhealthy. And yeah u were really like a drug to me.

#infatuation

Nissa Dec 2018

It's Too Late

I am sorry,
I am a bad girl.
I am sorry,
For tainting your soul.
I know and I know,
Things will never be the same.
You know,
My soul has been crying so hard,
Wishing things could be much more easier.
It is too late, right?
For me to mend things up?
It is too late,
For me to say I am sorry.

It is never the other's fault but our own for not being enough, for not being able to be a superhero..... Nothing is perfect. I should not have deluded myself. I should have prevented this from happening at the start but wells, it is not like i know this would happen. No time to regret but to move forward instead. It is painful of course. That is what life is.

#regret

Nissa Dec 2018

A Plot Twist

Ever since the flowers bloom,
My heart has been thumping,
In beats so jazzy,
They can easily move my body.
I have no control,
So I let go,
I move and move,
In slow rhythmic steps,
Towards that direction.
I hold out my hand,
Waiting for you to be in my hands,
I cup your face carefully,
Looking at you longingly and whisper,
.......
"How I long for you after all these years,
My Buttercream Chardonnay."

#wine

Nissa Dec 2018

Love's Bitterness

Oh my dear heart,
Why are you crying,
Crying so painfully,
That each tear makes a crack on you?
Why torture yourself?
What is love?
Why is it so precious?
You need to look at yourself in the mirror,
You look ghastly,
As if there is no drop of blood in you.
Why my dear heart?
Why cling on to this love's bitterness?

A broken heart just before Christmas is probably one of the worst ways of ending 2018. But life goes on.

#broken #heart

Nissa Dec 2018

Seasonal Feelings

There is a time for spring,
Where everything blossoms.
Then there is a time for autumn,
Where everything falls to ground.
And lastly there is winter,
Where all things in this world are frozen in time.

Yes.
There is always time where people grow and fall apart.
It is never easy when you have feelings. When you have a heart.

#feelings