if you pause for a moment
to look around
really, really look
and truly see
all the beauty
in the chaos
then suddenly
you may catch a glimpse
a slight twinge
in your soul
whispering how
absolutely necessary
your existence is
to the universe
the fabric that knits you together
flows through
each and every
spirit that passes
every single day

It was so cold there nothing could live
It hasn't always been that way
Before, there had been long summers that never seemed to end. Nights when all around danced and sang until they were played out and watched the sun rise
The sound of laughter filled the air and love was in over abundance.
That was then, before.
Now the seasons have no definition. No spring comes, no bird song. No buds promise the beauty of a flower. Just night.
Cold dark apocalyptic night.
For when they left, the seasons left with them.
The sun never rose
Night and darkness was all that remained in
Aleppo
For love had gone

on holidays is when everyone pretends to be happy. not me.

New Years I would sneak my way out of people screaming "happy new year" and "I love you's" and kissing and drinking champagne, just to keep myself from having a panic attack. because you weren't there to start a new year with me.

halloween, I guess was my favorite. I would always get to be someone who wasn't me for a night, and I would hope that you would be behind one of those masks. I suppose that's not a good thing. I haven't grown out of it.

thanksgiving I would hide in the bathroom and hope everyone would forget about me until they were done saying what they were thankful for. because I was still thankful for you.

Christmas, where we would all be selfish ******* and open gifts that we didn't even need. and go to church and act like a family. when all I wanted was you. and your still not here.