butterflies dance,
all around
soaring in perfect circles

they never leave,
your side
always coming back when you think them gone

you can feel their tiny wings,
beating inside
making you want to turn back home

oh how can something so small,
make you so nervous
make your stomach clench in fear

little butterflies,
know the secret
nerves can make you feel something more

so what does it mean when their not there

Everyone's looking for that one thing in life,
Love,
Passion,
Wealth,
Power,

We spend our days,
Occupied,
By that one value
Constantly searching for it
So we can feel completely
Complete

We look,
For the secret
To happiness,
Fulfillment
No frontier left unturned

We all look,
For the one thing,
That makes us feel worth something
Yet we never think to look,
In the mirror

Breath in
Worries out

Dropping of shoulders
Dropping thoughts

I escaped this place
Only to be brought back

You appear each day
Like an occurring nightmare

I must be going mad
Maybe insane?

I want to scream
To smash and break lose

I will clench my fists
And bide my time

For now I will shut it in
And smile

Pretending everything inside
Is all in my imagination

I will SIGH

Breath in
Worries out

Dropping of shoulders
Dropping thoughts

I escaped this place
Only to be brought back

You appear each day
Like an occurring nightmare

I must be going mad
Maybe insane?

I want to scream
To smash and break lose

I will clench my fists
And bide my time

For now I will shut it in
And smile

Pretending everything inside
Is all in my imagination

I will SIGH

Because I don't have anyone to listen and I just need to vent.

My heart hurts sometimes.
It's unable to pump at full capacity so it gets tired. My breathing becomes labored. So I go somewhere to be alone. I tell myself I'm going to be ok over and over again.
The pain I'm sure is minimal compared to a lot of other people. I think about them. All of them. And it pangs me to think of their suffering. Because I know they have people that care about them. So I keep telling myself to snap out of it.
It still hurts though. I know one of these breaths will be my last. I know that's true for everyone. I just wish mine didn't hurt so much.
I just wanted to write this out. To pretend for a moment someone was listening.