kuxaku:
mi ta kom sif da moshisolo
ando felota, felota, felota
naterash wit pensating mi
fo wa Belte mogut.

depelesh mi wanya go;
im wa pelesh sefesowng
wit sownte mali
unte tim fo kopeng mi
fo sasa du amolof foriya.

depelesh kopeng mi
kang sasa feriting fo kowlmang
unte imalowda malimang

amash mi ando felota
unte mi gonya pensa
fo wa Belte wit feriting.

the only thing that provides solace
in a time of utter confusion,
lack of stability, pain
are chuck schuldiner's words.

as he once wrote:
"See past the dark
And use your energy
Learn from these images
Thoughts that we call dreams."

so i grasp wildly through the dark
to find meaning
before the dreams are forgotten when I wake;
it is the only thing keeping me sane.

if he were alive today,
he would speak truth to injustice
in the most poetic way imaginable,
a way I know I would feel too.

new announcement:
due Monday at 11:59 PM
unit assignment
requires: more energy than I can muster right now.

each morning repeats;
wake up to notifications and expectations
forcing a mindset that is almost impossible to maintain
every minute that passes
is a minute wasted.

timelines approach,
all that is felt is
indescribable exhaustion
is that assignment really due,
or is this all my imagination?

this all feels like
an overlapping, metaphorical Sisyphus;
every day I push one boulder up a hill,
but there are several others deserving of my attention
and they are never ending.

sometimes
i see you as a figure of lust
like david harbour,
david thewlis
and john tavares

but others
i see you as a father
unlike my own
kind, understanding
and has basic human decency

i like that.

You knew the thread was there,
And you pulled
Until the feeling of the thread
Tickling your skin
Made you stop
He grabbed his needle
And started again
Back and forth,
And back and forth
Until you realized
as your hands bled,
There were scissors beside you
This entire time.

Through the midst
Of teenage immaturity,
Time slowed to a stop
My eyes gazed
Upon your thigh,
The recklessness drained from my psyche
All I could see
Or think, or be
Was self-inflicted pain
I wanted to take you away
Far away
And hold you while you said why,
But I couldn’t.