monsters chase me relentlessly
I admitted them into my life
Like vampires, they needed an invitation.
I gave it to them,
heedless
~~~~
I saw us as partners:
Me and my monsters,
They accompanied me all day.
But when I grew weary, my monsters, once cheery,
Waxed petulant, vengeful, insisting I pay.
They racked my body,
They haunted my soul;
******* my psyche, and leaving a hole,
A misshapen, and ragged, and monster shaped hole
To be filled, and fulfilled, by whom it was torn.
So many times, I’ve returned to, regarded,
My monsters: Old friends!
Old partners once parted!
Their presence reviled, now wholly cathartic,
And our union as sweet as the day that it started.
But every time they came back, they’d eat at their hole,
Ensuring the next time, I’d need to need more,
But when you allow monsters to fill you, only then will you know
The bigger your chasm, the more monster you hold,
Now, (not just filled by), but shaped in their mold.
When strife, and adversity darkened my door,
I’d weep and I’d cower; A wretch, and a worm!
My monsters, My Monsters! Come home! Keep me warm!
Release me from duty, I’m tired and worn. When I am weak I am weak, when I am strong I am strong.
So I indulged them, my monsters,
So that each time we met,
A piece of me would be gone, a piece of monster was left
Until my reflection was strange, and my green eyes grew dim:
There was no more “Me”, there was only “Him”.