Had dinner with my parents tonight,
this week was the first time I’ve ever seen them together in my life,
honestly,
and even though I left home at 14,
all of the blame,
can’t really be put on me,
because my parents had broken up,
since long before I was woken up,
separated for so long,
I often wondered if they were even ever together,
I brought them together for my birthday,
2016,
my father flew in from The States,
we all met in Thailand where my mom lives,
dinner was difficult,
my mom is losing here mind,
while she’s sitting there spilling her soul,
my dad just sits there and asks meaningless questions,
my mother sitting there saying how she has no money,
how she has no family other than us,
how she has no food on her feet,
and no real place to call home,
like I’m supposed to feel guilty for that,
like I don’t send her money all the time,
like I wasn’t in Thailand to visit her,
like I’m a man now so she has chosen to blame me,
like she’s chosen to blame every other man that’s ever been in her life,
how many husbands has she had,
six?
Seriously,
ridiculous,
what do you say to your mom,
when you think she’s a ****,
and I know that might sound like a terrible thing to say,
but it’s the truth and I refuse to censor myself,
my,
self,
doesn’t even feel like me anymore,
not even sure if I’m a human let alone a man,
man,
the Atomic Family is more like an Atomic Bomb,
what a mess we’ve made,
and all in the name of what,
no idea,
honestly,
well,
it’s all probably a simulation always,
at least that’s what Elon Musk says,
“There’s a 1 in billions chance that we are not living in a Simulated Reality.”
Makes me want to tell my parents,
that they are just part of my computer program,
but they’d probably call me crazy,
and then just disappear…
∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
Another true story from the front lines of my life...