ln a room with so many people
l can only hear your voice
is that love?

If I added up all my scars,
across my arms and over my hips,
I could stitch them up,
into untold stories and engrave them on my skin,
so everyone could see,
the vulnerability within.

If I spread my wounds across a canvas,
purple, blue, red, and other hues,
creeping on rippled fabric like stars in the night sky,
I’d create galaxies,
with craters, suns and moons,
constellations of healing wounds.

Our hands couldn't touch because they were too similar
So we decided to put our backs together instead
And faced opposite sides of the world
So that our lips would never utter the same words ever again

I’ll never get over the feeling of our bodies clashing together
After months apart
Pretending you don’t crave me presented on fine china
Holding me up against the kitchen cupboards
Investigating my feminine floral blue print in the glowing yellow light of the fridge
Deciding if I’ll look better on laid on the dining table
or shattered against your bed

My mum said that when you’re around
I stop taking care of myself
because I’m too busy taking care of you
Before you left last night you put one last cigarette between my lips
covering the wind
you put your hand against my cheek
to light a small fire between us
I thanked you
as if you hadn’t killed me enough already
My mum was right