Down by the river
I did quiver
Did you wonder?

You caressed my breast
Over my protest
Under your conquest

Wild flowers were my bed
On several pleas I fled
Now I wonder?
Did you just want to be fed?
Every lie beat to the thunder
Released by your hunger

I traced your energy
Far north than your thought

I never denied what you wanted

Count me as a willing bride
Arrested in time
Ready for more than a moment
Every time I relive the memory
Did you ever wonder if I wondered?

Down by the river
I did quiver
Did you wonder?

You caressed my breast
Over my protest
Under your conquest

Wild flowers were my bed
On several pleas I fled
Now I wonder?
Did you just want to be fed?
Every lie beat to the thunder
Released by your hunger

I traced your energy
Far north than your thought

I never denied what you wanted

Count me as a willing bride
Arrested in time
Ready for more than a moment
Every time I relive the memory
Did you ever wonder if I wondered?

Digging deep in my despair

Empty eyes are watching me

Rabid vultures stop to stare

I’m digging deep to flee

Digging deep toward the fire

Sinking deeper into the pit

Skin flaming with manic desire

I’m digging deeper than I admit

Digging deep into fertile soil

Fading slowly as time warps

Clarity with distortion

The perfect foil

Finally I’m in deep enough

To bury your ****** corpse

but how?

do we measure
                          point C?
                      to
                            spot G?

I light the gas
put on the kettle
You like tea, don't you?
I'm a coffe person actually
But you like tea
and I'm hopelessly lost
I'm grabbing things
from the refrigerator
left right and centre
What do you eat for breakfast?
I'm inhaling memories
drinking sensation
dining on your touch
not remembering much
Your form of sensual chloroform
is sensational
The kettles boiled
the cups are still empty
your touch on my lower back
is heavenly
I'm not sure
I'm where I need to be
the kitchen you say?
*Shall we?

stand up at the podium
and tell everyone
I was mad

there was not a single cell
in her body that was sane

*Each molecule was rabid
Each word out of the mouth
breathed in another's pain,
another's thoughts, another's foot
another's absolute, down to Earth
truth

She gladly swallowed razor blades
and never once, coughed up blood
She sought to hold all pain
beneath a heart that would never gain
truth

She was insane

Truth

He kills her
he's a murderer

She kills him
she's a victim

trying to survive

her word against his
but he's dead

his word against her
still leaves him dead!

domestic violence
is not gender based!

It's gender biased!

We all to quickly judge
with haste

Those that are just trying
*to survive

Hush my darling don’t say a word

I lay a slender finger upon your lips

I didn’t see anything
But I surely heard

and I give a delightful wiggle
of my hips

I forgive you, I do

They are words of the ******

I haven’t forgotten
we were always meant
to be together
but it’s not like you
Remembered
all our well rehearsed
and thought out plans

You look at me through blank eyes
but with a curious smile
on your lips

It’s almost…

Mysterious

No, don’t say it, you don’t have to explain
and I’m not ready to hear your pain
If I can let go
and show you
that I’m not unhappy
that my heart is unworthy
your little black mark upon my soul
is less than a stain

This is where you should refrain

You’re laying still, a little cold,
as the sweat has dried upon your skin
Perhaps I should shut the window
but the fresh air is a balm
to the warmth that has delighted me
and has carried away
all that has frightened me
and there is nothing left
that reminds me of Sin

You’ve served me well
and as I understand
we’ve come a long way
without sinking in the sand
I gave you Love and Hope
and Happiness and Trust

You gave me the illusion
that I should have thought twice
even though
there were two of us
and I should have needed
more than just naked Lust

All this is whispered
from my roughly kissed lips
as I roll up my stockings
and retrieve a part of my heart
that I missed

But I know, just by looking at you
that you haven’t heard a word
that I said
because you are

Sleeping

or

*Dead

don't blame me because
the sand in your ******
is irritating you
go take a shower
and while you're at it
shave that pathetic excuse
of *** fluff you call a beard
from your perfect face
and while you're at it
wash away
the verbal diarrhoea
caught in the corner
of perfectly firmed lips
and while you're at it
practice in front of the mirror
saying
I can only criticise
when I'm more perfect
than you
then come back to me
apologise
and say something new

Don't give me your abject phrases
or your artfully placed sighs
Don't give me your diluted praises
that leak from your blinded eyes
Don't give me a disjointed speech
that starts with the letter I
Don't give me verbations that leech
from your ever loving lies
Don't give me your pretending
because I don't believe in that ****
Don't give me your never ending
*I'm never going to get it!

Beware those who judge, lest you be judged! Who hasn't been judged by the tattoos on their bodies or the piercings in their skin, by the bike they ride, or the car they drive, or the home they live in, or by their religion or the colour of their skin? But you know what? At the end of the day, those above have laid down their head and slept well, not judging the rest of the world... May we all sleep well at night ;)

I can be hurt and broken
I can be slightly off key
I can be silently soft spoken
but don't listen to me
I can be repressed and angry
I can be secretly ******
but don't listen to me
because there are some things
I missed
I forgot to tell you about
how I finally got that hug
and when I got an I Love You
from my Daughter
whom I adore more than above
I never come back to say
that the beaten path
was more a simple stroll
inside a park
When the clouds moved away
and it was a beautiful day
I forgot to take back
my darkest thoughts
I left out how so much joy
fills my ever changing world
don't listen to me
when I'm stuck in a moment
those petals have unfurled
It's a garden sometimes neglected
until there's evidence of a tree
and little sprouts of glad flowers
don't listen to me

don't you dare shed those tears
that you've been holding onto
for so long, in all these years

don't you dare mutter in grief
the single moment you sagged
in overwhelming simple relief

don't you dare cry out in pain
or tear your clothes, nor rip your
hair beneath a perfect summers rain

don't you dare try for sympathy
holding another's hand, randomly
for she is not random but your
epiphany

don't you dare weep for me

if a single tear drop falls
and burns a path so endless
let it be your downfall
you wept at nothingness

don't you dare weep for me

I'm may be the willow tree in winter
the barrenness that left you blind
I'm may be the heat of summer
that sweltered you so unkind

yet you dare to weep for me

when the seasons decide to change
it's not your tears that bring relief
it's the history you try to rearrange

Your tears are crocodilian
steeped in lies and treachery
sitting like empty salt lakes

don't you  DARE  *weep for me

You tripped into the rabbit hole,
but let me tell you,
I didn't trip!
I purposely fell after you,
just so you didn't travel
a new universe without me.
There are so many fantasies
that you skip upon
the light fantastic
but you never thought
I'd follow you
just to bring you back.
I've seen where you've been,
sitting with your Cheshire Grin
all I can do is hold your hand
and coax you back to reality
which I know for you is ******
We walk a fine line
between each other's truth
You tripped over
into the rabbits hole
**I threw myself

is it worth tears?
pain aside, the first time
who didn't cry?

The hill so steep
gasping breath
collapsing mid step
the hill
a mound
without a sound
the stream is crossed
no more than a trickle
of tears
after so many
years
You climbed
a mountain
I tripped
into a puddle
tears are covert
mis stepped
to an uneven beat
angry limbs
form a defensive
huddle
tears warm
cold places
falling from eyes
blurred
that watch you
sleep

Dream My Sweet

as I drown

when you're on the backwards slide?
your *** is pointing forward
and you're seeing all the mistakes
that you failed to hide...
it's a slippery ride

do you know how you know?

you've reached the very bottom?
It's like a gut shot
that you slap your hands over
but your life still spills at your feet
you continue to hold on
trying to push it back inside of you
until it becomes completely obvious
it's time to die,
a time to weep

do you know how you know?

When it's time to fight back?
it's when you are so sick of being
the 3 things you fear

Pitiful, Paranoid, Pathetic

you've rejected the first
you deny the second
and the third is something
you listen to but it is just
another voice in your ear
another buzz in the void

Life ain't no club sport
there is no pat on the back
from a weaker player,
there's no recrimination
from the stronger slayer
there is no encouragement
from the pack

do you know how you know?

You've made it?

it's in the sunshine that dines
on your bloodshot irises
to eat away at the decay
It's in the whisper of a breath
through dry cracked lips
that shouts...
it's different this morning
because Today
is not Yesterday

do you know how you know?

how it will be tomorrow?

Autumn sips from Winters cup
Swallowing deeply of the breeze
Last leaf trembling has had enough
Releasing itself from yonder trees

Expelled upon the bleaching earth
It's colour is an obscene attractant
To note that which will die at birth
Bleeds into pale as its exactment

It screams 'oh colour me red/gold from death
to succour barren earth in the hours I dream
return my memories before I was colourless
until once again, my true colours  are seen

Adventuress my life comes,  with a price
Courageously I recolour a score more than thrice

repeat yourself over and over
wield words as your weapon
repeat it as many times you need
until you drown beneath
your own perception

Tell the boy you fell in love with that you don't appreciate his lust, tell the girl your dreaming of that she's the only one you think of

Shout out to the universe
that you're unimpressed
Scream in the face of the world
that you deserve only the best

Get into the face of the *****,
or the *******,
that hurt you the most
and insist you are worth
the air you breathe, make sure
*you're extremely verbose

It sat empty for so long
the lines became so faded
Memories drift as half sung songs
and reality became jaded

One stoke, two,
a half formed thought
three words, four words
a sentence fought

a think bubbles appears
behind my eyes
exploding with images
my mind denies

another scratch upon the page
another crumpled piece of heart
start again, all over
but these images never depart

All I'm asking is you spill dark secrets
Upon a crisp sheet of white
and if ever you see Red blended
know I didn't lie that night

Entrancing as the view is
It's like watching silent movies
Where overly painted faces
Gesticulate with solemn graces
Open to interpretation
Until the words appear
Surrounded by fanciful borders
Innocuously proclaiming
The weather is fine today, m'dear
And you laugh anyway
Because what they just said
Is not how it sounded in your head
Especially because how they are dressed
Lord forgive my misconstruing
a torrid expression so ambiguous
It eclipsed my ubiquitousness
I'm just trying to understand
From the arms that are flying
and the cheeks that are burning
Without the words inferring
If it will be a fine day today
or
If the world has finally stopped turning

I need the words to come first
Before the screen scene
Or else I'll laugh, when I should cry
To be misunderstood feels obscene

love, love, love, love, love, love
an endless litany
It forms the rope
that hangs
love lost, love found
love that just
hangs around
Love
the bards sang!
Love
the poets wept
nursing broken bones
Love
the tired sheep bleat
love, love, love, love, love, love
so endless is the night
without it
so heartbreaking to live
without it
so cutting can it be
so masochistic
don't you see?
love, love, love, love, love, love
if you don't have it
you uninvited it
continually writing
about it
brings it back
*not one bit

You write the most beautiful words
for the woman in your life
I get it now, I'm such a cow
I only see destruction and strife
I'm lying right next to him
just now, as I write
he doesn't know
I'm twisting the knife
I want to be that woman
so proud, so bold
but in his eyes I've grown
so bitter, so cold
except I've had to weather
such unexpected plans
that all I can do
is look down
at my upturned hands
palms out in supplication
raised as a defence
ready to hold against a cheek
that doesn't take offence
I read words from such males
that hold a vow so sacred
and epiphanies become true to me
that leave me standing raw and naked

in darkness, a world disintegrates
in hell, hope lenders feed the fire
interestingly, as you lay next to me
I'm burning beneath such desire
a little voice whispered wishes
that fell beneath shallow cracks
next to warmth, cloaking subterfuge
bruises appear on uncovered backs
in silence you sleep with the dead
in awareness you fear familiarity
your own cancerous consciousness
finds no utterable, plausible clarity
I'm stable upon the mountaintop
you created from a demons desire
when I descend to the depth of life
will you follow?
or be swallowed by the fire?

Graceful in the face of defeat
Stoic in the face of pain
Unashamed in the face of Pride
An umbrella against the pounding rain

A willow tree bending, unrelenting
bowing in the face of rage
A feather floating in the breeze
to softly touch the face of age

Her touch can soothe battle fever
Her look can hold back the tide
Her voice can sing in triumph or
softly hum as she attempts to hide

She sits alone on a hill of clover
and finds four leaves with every glance
She sits at the bottom until it is over
and takes odds against every chance

Her babies are the reason she breathes
Her man is the reason she would die
For her there is no in between
Without either she has no reason to try

You penned a soliloquy
yet I heard my own voice
You spoke of your own hardship
yet you gave me no choice
You talked about your pain
yet I writhe in agony
You penned a soliloquy
yet you said nothing worthy

You spoke of nothing but yourself
you spoke only of your pain
You spoke of a singular truth
you forgot to mention my heart slain

What?
You couldn't write a sonnet?
14 artful lines are not that long
You couldn't Acrostic this?
I HURT SOMEONE

No!

You write a soliloquy
Where your discourse is so obtuse!
Even in the form of Poetry
you deny me

*Is it the truth?

When we are born
there's no Wrong
or Right
there's no Black or White
there's no indecision
We sleep when we're tired
we eat when hungry
We cry if something's not right
we laugh at anything funny
We see with perfect vision...
At Kindergarten we make our first
Best Friend
The one person that held our hand
when milk time was a disaster
and we napped together
and home time came faster
because Friend times Fun
equals Time goes By
and One plus One
equals Forever Mine
In Little School we first meet
Prejudice
It's the pretty girl
wearing the pretty dress
while your hand me downs
scream your secret shame
It's her you blame
when your lifetime friend
who wore the same milk mustache
as you at Five
takes her side
the waves of I don't get it
washes over you on a tide
of unreasonable insanity
but your Vanity is total
to One minus One
equals Alone on a Beach
totals I Am No One
By High School you're confused
by the elevated status
of the praying mantis
the chickadee that seems to be
an all boy zone that is open 24/7
and the gentleman
that snakes out his hand
to land on your rear end
euphemistically called
the Octopus  
by then...
You've never really got it...
It made no sense
as the informative years
just saw you sitting
upon a bench
crying tears
that you eventually sniffed
upon you Third winter sweater
gazing upon a frozen pond
in the middle of an empty park
you saw the cracks the ice skaters
didn't
but it didn't make you feel better
So you call out... Crack in the Ice!
They look blankly at you twice
and continue to skate
with their own voice in their head
With a shrug your mantra sighs
I did what I could, I can't beat
someone else's vice...
Here come the working years
here comes the awkward fears
Of What if I'm not good enough
Where do I go when I've had enough
Where are my friends that I never made
What if I can't make new friends
Who can I talk to at the end of the day?
So heartbreaking...
to know that your best friend
that wore the same milk mustache
got married 2 years ago
and you weren't invited to the wedding
Even though you lived 2 doors down
for nearly 15 years, shared boy stories
and plenty of chocolate talking
and now she's having her second baby
while her husband is Manager
of the local Tyre King
and stupidly I thought
She got everything!
Except that I couldn't go to her wedding
because I was in South America
and I remember my Mother called
and said You remember Yvette?
She's getting married to Steve
he's going places, they'll have a family
next July, the joy on their faces!
So dear, how's things in Africa?
and I laughed with sorrowful Joy
at my mothers voice and said
Well Mom, the sky is Red
bleeding with sorrow
for all the animals slaughtered
but here's one truth about your daughter
She's actually in Brazil
about to board a boat
to travel further south
to places remote
to take vital medicines
and vaccines to those with no hope
She's taking her fully qualified Doctor
self, alone
Unmarried is not unfulfilled
Solitary is not a life sentence
our lives could be filled with
a million people, but in silence
eventually we'll get it

**** something
or phone a friend
bury the past
or find an end
contemplate suicide
or running scared
decide if you pay cash
or leave your credit bared
take a lot of pills
and drink a lot
cut yourself properly
just to make the pain stop
sweet talk your alter ego
to go just another day
or choose which way to go
if you can't stay
drive for miles
in a direction you don't know
ask the street signs for guidance
even if it shows
where you won't end up
but isn't it a game?
you'll look for guidance
on every corner
that starts to look the same

everyday she asks
Are you alright?
Do you have a headache?
You're very pale, are you hungry?
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Do you feel okay?
What's wrong?
and everyday he says
I'm fine!
and gets frustrated with her asking.
Everyday she opens her eyes
her first sight is him
breathing next to her
Everyday she proceeds with
housework, bills to pay
jobs to find, demons to slay
Everyday day she will ask
Are you okay?
While every night
she lies quietly
while thoughts riot
with tears on her lashes
and screams in her soul
waiting for his voice
to question the toll
Every night she lies silently
waiting for the axe to fall
Every night she hears
*nothing at all

she wakes to an empty bed
he's left in the early morning
to work, she shivers with regret
He calls at 9am and they exchange
pleasantries. He sighs as the phone
disconnects while she hangs up
hesitantly. Was there more to be said?
He sits in a morose world on the
internet in the afternoons where
he waits for her to come home from
work. He's all alone with his memories
and he dreams of scenarios that
might possibly become reality
if he can convince her that he's
sincere. But shes not there...
Evening meals are a lesson in silence
in the awkwardness of masticating
images that could be dreams or
nightmares, she doesn't care, he
is there...
******* in the dark, in stealth
making sure the rustle of clothing
leaving the body is no indication
of an invitation they awkwardly
brush against each other, creating
friction, gauging reaction, not really
ever wanting to engage in carnality
just basically giving each other
the time of day and the illusion
of Love and a Yes please but
No thanks, not tonight
just another day...
The coffee is cold as it sits acting
like a looking glass for a stare
deep inside the darkness might
be someone who cares but over
the breakfast table on a weekend
morning, the divide is yawning
and there is a weakness to the
futilely uttered
"Good Morning"

embarrassing

my mistake
rolling from under
trapped sheets
exposing
my lady bits

my mistake

so tactless
to pretend
we had been
intimate

so tactless

my mistake

embarrassing

I have scratched out my journey across a mountain of pages and each and every time I’ve filed away a book, I’ve mourned the trees, compassion is not something I lack.

I have been thankful that they took each and every step with me and as each notebook closes I retreat to my back yard to plant another seed.
I’m happy to give back.

The million litres of ink that have been bleed beneath my fingers and have spread to stain my hands as my life raced across the pages has not been spilled in vain if one day the moldy old box is opened and the dust is blown from the covers and a futuristic version of me delights in the find, and hears beyond the echo of the scratching of tortuous proportions to see a life that was fun filled pain.

So much chatter, most of it doesn’t matter, little tidbits float along on a swollen creek that has never actually seen much rain.

Tiny little letters run across a barren land and accidentally collide into one another because they have no coherency while all the Big words sit in their gilded towers and watch, and wait, drinking the finest Port they can find while mocking the chaos below with ridicule and disdain.

Little bits and pieces have been scattered to the wind...
Thrown into the air, as an offering of peace, to the ancient scourge that is the birds.

I guess this would probably make much more sense if I could only just find the right words….

Jan 9 (two thousand and something)

It’s a lovely restaurant.

   Lovely.

   There is no artificial lighting. Just hundreds of candles that flicker from recessed niches in the walls and on every table.

   And you’ve done everything right so far. From seating me in my chair, with the slight brush of your knuckles across my bare shoulders as you removed my light jacket, to taking my purse from my bloodless fingers to place it next to my feet, you have excelled. As you knelt beside me and ran your fingertips up my bare leg you lift your perfect lips into a melting smile that promises everything.

   I want everything

   And there you are, sitting across from me. So perfect, my dream, my nightmare, my man of the hour, my choice. The candle light is kind to you and as I stare over the glass rim of a red wine I’m enthralled by your voice. I don’t know what you're saying but you just have to keep talking and I’ll just keep redrawing you in the candlelight.

   You have utterly, beguilingly captured me.

   The candle on the table has lit a fire in your eyes. I imagine the fires of Hell burn there and shiver at the thought of all that wickedness. The way you ran your fingers through your hair has tricked me into thinking that two small (very ****) horns protrude from your head. It’s an illusion, but one that I’m happy to run with.

   As you pick up my hand and feather kisses along my fingertips I feel the brush of the stubble on your face which I’m sure wasn’t there when we walked hand in hand to our table but the ****** hair is unmistakable. Is it possible I’m here with a Lycanthrope? Will our evening end with me running bare foot through the woods while a howl scrapes delicious shivers down my spine? Will I fall to my knees, a victim of the beast as it stalks me, scenting the wind, marking it’s prey, spying me and leaping to devour me? One glance at the full moon suggests I might be in for a wild night.

   In the candlelight you morph into all of my fantasies. But now, I’m just hungry.

   The illusion is just too hard to hold. I haven’t eaten since my last foray into the mortal world and I’m too tired to hold onto the hope that I can make it past reality.

   The restaurant drops away. The candles burn down to one lowly guttering torch and you're just a little boy (next to my 712 years) standing in a cave, where I have lured you and you're more than aware that you're not desert, you’re the main meal and the adrenaline coursing through your beautiful veins have my fangs dropping and my eyes smoldering but don’t worry, I can make it pleasurable, if I want to, it depends whether my fantasies have been strong enough, but I will respect you…

   Of course!

First Date: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/first-date-17/ (best read in order)

It was so cold inside the cave

   So cold!

   He didn’t understand when the restaurant faded and the stone walls rose around him that he was trapped. He was suddenly the prey and he didn’t like it. Not at all, but he was happy to see where the fantasy would take him. He could only hope and prey?

   He silently smirks at his own private joke before he remembers where he is and briefly contemplates where he was before he came here.

   He was sitting across from the most beautiful women he has ever seen. Her bare shoulders were like silk beneath his subtly brushing fingertips and he knew instinctively by her indrawn breath as he ran his hand up her bared leg that he was the luckiest man alive. He seated himself across from her and simply stared into her eyes.

   He sees in her eyes all her fantasies.

   He is a demon from the dark. He is fire and brimstone. All encompassing as all the sins of the flesh, burning her, setting her on fire, a raging inferno that can not be sated with just a few drops of sweat upon her brow.

   Hmmm… I like this he thinks as he sips the ice cold water that has suddenly appeared in front of him, but for now he’s thirsty it seems.

   The flames from a hundred or more candles flicker in her dark eyes as the scene changes and becomes a darker conflagration of her dreams.

   This is getting more interesting he ponders her stare as he lifts his hand to stroke the satin skin of her knuckles across his lips

   Now he is a wolf. A creature of the night. She has seen beyond his façade and she’s running. Triggering his hunting instinct. He can only chase her. There is nothing else for him to do. He must claim the other half of himself that calls to his predatory nature. He is ready to claim his mate and he’ll take her like the wild animal that he is!

   Yes!

   He’s seen that all in her eyes, until the millions of candles fade to just a small torch and the walls that clutched at them with intimacy are now just coarse stone and the illusion is lost.

   As she bends toward his neck, with sharp fangs, seeking her solace, he dissolves into mist. She screeches as her wickedly sharp teeth pierce her bottom lip with a sharp bite and instantly realizes she has lost her prey.

   He laughs eerily.

   Then, as the scent of her ancient blood rises to tease his more ancient nostrils and he subtly inhales with his soul, he sees that things are more complicated than he could ever hope they would never be...

   *He howls

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/first-date-17/
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/first-date-ii/
(best read in order)

The stone walls are closing in on me and I’m hungry

   So hungry

   I’m on my knees begging silently to let my anguish end. I could have made it good. I wanted the pleasure more than the means to the end. I just needed a taste to know that I was alive once again but I’m left trapped. The walls closing in on me are a testament that I can never escape my existence. Even my fantasies are not enough.

  So hungry!

  How did I get back here? Inside my prison?  Inside my own destiny? I am stronger than the person I was so many, many years ago but weaker than I want to be. I rose above the hand that life dealt to me and I have been a major player in history but I can’t rise above the fact that I’m left weeping inside my stone prison and I’m alone, again, and hungry.

   Where did things go wrong?

   The dark alley that I found you in was perfect. You were as alone, as lonely as me. But I didn’t want to make you feel less than special than you were to me. The restaurant, the candles, the sense of intimacy… It was all perfect. My imagination was at an all time high. I sensed your urgency.

  I projected images as arousing as I could make them.  I lived inside my own fantasies and I wanted you to want me as I wanted you. And I wanted you so desperately. Our dalliance was more than a mere moment. You were special to me. Not everything I projected was from my own mind. I felt your acceptance. Your willingness to indulge… Your complete and utter resolve to be what I wanted you to be.

   But now you’re gone. Seemingly crumpled to dust. Escaping from me just like every other thing that I held dear.

   You were not a figment of my imagination, even though everything around us was, but you didn’t stay and now I’m the one that will pay. I chose wrong. I understand that now. I’m sorry but please understand… I’m so hungry.

   I curl upon the dirt floor to contemplate my mistake. The tears from my eyes are from frustration and anger and maybe just a little self indulgence that I can’t hold onto the fantasy. I breathed upon warm skin but I'm left with the bitter taste of myself upon my lips. It's the taste of me that leaves me bereft.

   The mist that settles upon me like a blanket and hugs me in a gentle caress is more comfort than I can take. I don't remember much but I remember one thing...

   *I’m so hungry