here in Australia
in less than an hour
it will be tomorrow
and I have to say
its looking ok
for those of you
lagging behind
Trust me, the world
is not ending tomorrow
but if you wouldn't mind

I understand there are
Dragons to be slayed!
Demons to be fought,
and extracurricular actives
to be played

But not for me :)
I'm sitting outside
on a padded bench
wishing for bed
but you don't play nicely
Hello Poetry
You **** me in
with friends who wake
as I want sleep

*Where is the fun in that?

so today I said see you later
to a huge piece of my heart
I said talk to you later
and then my world fell apart

I wanted him to be a man
to celebrate the right of passage
instead I texted him within hours
only to receive this message

I am here in Room 203
Tell Chell that I love her please
(because he loves his baby sister
above all things)

and I know I have to let go
of the man that sent me those words
but if anything ever happens to him
they will be the last words I heard

He is my baby boy
a bird, just learning his wings
I'll forever be, Mama bird
wanting to be his *everything

I don't ******* care
what's out there
Nemo was a stupid fool
that little tool
had it good
being the centre
of someone's world
We are just plankton
waiting to be swallowed
by the yawning maw
of an industrious whale
waiting to be eaten up
laying down tracks
like a laborious snail
just slugs
tresspassing upon gardens
that are richly scented
with heavily perfumed
'a la, smell me please
leave your heart to me
and I'll trample it
to get my feet wet'
Little fish in big ponds
get to hide between
the rocks
They get to frolicking
between frocks
of seaweed and coral
that chokes or
cuts like fine glass
Little fish in Big ponds

tend to outlast ;)

The trails of woe and agony
are not new to me
because every step you've taken
I've taken too, as I I follow you
and when you're  down and out
it's my hand on your chest
checking your heart beat
pressing against you to ensure
your not alone
But your last bout of indecision
lasted more than a week
Your withdrawal from the daily
works, retreating to places
where you could not speak
left us all to go on our way
Living day by day without
your presence, without your
Love, without acknowledgement
We moved on
I know rising from a coma
can be, simply, an astounding feat
but those that you try to engage with
have moved their feet, everyday
You can't just arise and say
Hear me!
For your silence every day previous
left us impervious to hurt
Perhaps a gentle reminder
we were not forgotten in your
delirium would better serve
You were never forgotten,
for a single moment
But to you, in your mind
*We were...

many hearts are broken
as the song softly plays
inside each decimated soul
is a small part that prays

Take away the heartache
that tears this heart apart
leaving just a small piece
in which it may restart

Restart what?

Another life full of anguish
as Love sits behind the wheel
of an overgrown carriage
Careening across another barren field?

Just don't let me feel

Take the keys from numb hands
a back seat is the preference
for those that have lost
all sense, all will, all fight
any thought of difference
laying facing up on cracked leather
from the front seat comes snide

Are you enjoying the ride?

Out the window is blackness
a blur of trees, a sign,
another bridge crossed
another state line

Never were you mine

Weeping for the distance spent
to forget, yet total remembrance
negated the dry eyes that spell

my demise

Sitting on the side of the road
taking over the wheel
White knuckled from the years
it's not just how I feel

It's how things feel

to me

the tears fall

*gently

I sit in darkness, soaked in Gin, I remember everything,
except all the things Tequila forgot,
I remember nothing except for the things left to rot

I forgot the darkest nights
most certainly in days light
I forgot you placed the drink in my hand,
is that how we ended up here last night?

A half empty glass we have mired our delusion dear
Do the stories just get better or do we simply fill in the blanks?
Trace our old lines again and again.
Weathered are my eyes behind a mask
It’s no place to breath but anything beats the grave.

As we recall the sunset from the shore it seems so far now
it is but a fraction of the truest sense and the most cursed fools delusion
a switchblades sting and you will remain my favorite scar?

Delusions are illusions with which we fool ourselves
with a magician’s eye and a sense of skill.
Sunsets upon a distant shore are our memories
retreating against our will.

The switchblades knife is rusty and it's only hope is to scar.
Do you revere or revile me?
The empty bottles that lay between us ask for little.
I ask us for more!

Will I be your scar, the one you rub when you’re alone?
Tracing lines that cut so deep but set rigid, like stone?

Perhaps the open wound you created
when you picked apart our past won't heal as quickly,
and like the final drink we had together won't be our last.

Painted is the portrait so far from the truths we all choose to ignore
and now I simply understand are regrets than the echoes of a shared view.

When we break the heart do we find solace in a statue like existence?
We all spill the glass sometimes and a candles view dim will only reflect the shadows we've become.

Tomorrows a dream and the nightmares become a friend far more than this dance
I care no longer to stand and the ice won’t bare the weight of this ego's crash.

Let's skate the ice so thin it cracks beneath the weigh of pain.
Let's dance the tango of wilted dreams and find no shame.
Let the broken heart of shattered glass
be a reminder of our pain
but you and I, we share a common lust
we mix silently, oil and water
blending in the same frame

For from the page to the far corners of this empty floor we have made our choices
Now we understand past regrets in silent reframe

Never doubt the passion for the lack of fire it simmers a volcano underneath the illusion of emptiness and so we find are paths twisted yet always brought back to the same point.

We always speak in shadows what is known in light of day.

Our paths are gritty dirt, pretty split and intertwined
broken cobblestoned nights and sun baked days to which we can’t deny
Shadows that come to play hide the demons
we would once talk to, but threw away
when we attempted to revive a life we weren't meant for
Our answers don't lay at the bottom of the bottle
nor do they rest behind the closed door,
They itch beneath our fractured skin and spill their secrets on the floor
dripping from serrated cuts that pump a life full of ****** memories
the broken bottle stands as sentinel asking always for
One More...
Please?

Maybe we found our muse in a mutual insanity.
Laid bare the vein I question what lingers when nothing remains beneath?

This last round stands only for the night my dear for its clutches are but a moments embrace and an overcast view.
Tomorrow I can never promise what fate hands us by surprise.

Insanity is a fickle Muse
that's sips from a collapsed vein
breaking bottles against skulls
looking for an idiot to blame

Personally I think our Muse
is a Mistress that flogs well in the dark
Chaining our souls to our demons
never shining light on our demise,
Demanding we whip ourselves hoarse
prying opens the oysters
of our murky world spilling pearls of stone into a world so stark

No, the Muse of you and I is an unruly *****.
She chokes our memories and forces our pain
with a flick of her wrist

Your work has been found posted here...

https://www.blogger.com/profile/01778541517020475886

Go through them carefully as titles have been changed but poems have been posted verbatim with no link to the original.

sigh

LOL.... no more than half an hour later, the blog is closed to me... not sure if he blocked me after I commented or just closed the whole thing... ****** parasite!

glass
    is sharp
        when
         broken

tongue
    is sharp
        with
         harsh

words spoken

cut
     like glass

lash
     like steel

deaf ears
blind eyes

don't care
    how
           you
                  feel

To truly know the fire,
one must taste the ashes.

To truly feel the burn
one must know the flame

To truly burn with fire
casts off the brightest light.

and in the ashes lay
the taste of another day

Down by the river
I did quiver
Did you wonder?

You caressed my breast
Over my protest
Under your conquest

Wild flowers were my bed
On several pleas I fled
Now I wonder?
Did you just want to be fed?
Every lie beat to the thunder
Released by your hunger

I traced your energy
Far north than your thought

I never denied what you wanted

Count me as a willing bride
Arrested in time
Ready for more than a moment
Every time I relive the memory
Did you ever wonder if I wondered?

so I'll just say

see ya

maybe next to the swings
or sitting on the bench

both places
we used to like to sit
and cry

when I was a kid
you woke up on a weekend
and met your friends
at the local park
you spent all day
playing on the swings
or exploring
and went home
when it was dark
just in time for dinner

when I was young
we got home from school
had a sandwich
did some homework
then met our friends
on the street
for some fun
shooting the breeze
poking tounges
at all the boys
oh the joy

when we couldn't
make it outside the yard
you meet your siblings
out back
where the lawn hadn't been mowed
in days and
you worked together
to create an elaborate maze
for our clothes peg people
to navigate
it was so great

Nowadays

We all live in this tiny fishbowl
I check my daughters Facebook
times untold
just to see what she's feeling
because we are 'Friends'
then I text my Son
that dinner is here,
He's only in a room downstairs
he may as well be living
Siberia

They don't need me
while they have their life
Unlimited cable internet
streaming to their Xbox, iPad,
cellphone, laptop, talking to friends
like I never did unless
they were standing in my front yard
propped next to a bike

and as I sit here sipping grapes
from an old chipped teacup

*I grew up

and by then

the meal was stale

It sat congealing

upon a cold plate

My breath

did not make

an ounce of difference

to how you feel

when you served

the meal

I think you see

my appreciable

as just another

song gone cold

I weep over every bite

I stay silent

because

my spoken word

can't make it

right

*but I will savour
every bite

I was standing naked in the bathroom
when my Husband walked in
he only noticed that the mirror was
misted as his daily ritual began
He brushed his teeth slowly, methodically
while his eyes squinted at tiny lines
that branched from each of his eyes
but the golden glow from my skin
beaded with lightly fragrant droplets
of water paled in comparison to the
grey hair he reluctantly noticed as
he skimmed his razor across his chin
The sun didn't shine much that day
but that night when I accidentally
dropped my towel as we passed in
the hallway he lifted his foot to walk
past but then let it fall as he stopped
and slowly bent to pick up the towel
but didn't hand it to me, just kind of
gazed at me with eyes that backed me
back into the bathroom to stand naked
once again, I knew the moment he
smiled, the rain fell to mist and there
was a break in the clouds

Imma gunna
create a new
persona
complete with
stupid backstory
an' a picture
of some random
that's pleasing
to the eye
to enable
my ****** glory
and help spread
my *******
to the world
because my ego
demands
to
be
heard!

I've tried to talk about it
until I'm blue in the face
but I'm already dead
the conversation left
...no trace
I called at 4am
Left a voice message
followed up with a text,
I guess you didn't get it
My drama is a burden
My tears are hard to take
My words are hard to process
maybe, my friendship
was a mistake
I hesitate to contact you
what if I'm interrupting?
I know that others have a life
at least they have something
I hit dial on my phone
then hope the one who answers
understands my sobbing voice
and doesn't silently judges..
I know I'm already dead
I just seem to keep on
breathing
as long as I have a voice
on the other end of the line
I'll keep on
believing
this life is worth living
and the tears I cry are
real
because appearances can be
deceiving
*I look better than I feel

in an empty river
your rocks
barely cause
a ripple

Silver linings are just a cover up
Crocodile tears are all you had
Red as the blood I tried to spill
Every time things got too bad
Why did you carve up my heart?

You never thought I would fight back
Outside you're all sunshine and light
Underneath your braggart heart is black

moisture wets dry tongue,
drink in the adulation
that you ****** upon

it's not a question that needs to be asked everyday, it's more an observation, something that can be noted in general conversation
if when at work, where you spend a third of your life, the person that sits next to you hasn't spoken a word of their life, in three days, maybe just reach out with an
R U Okay?
because that person that sits next to you and shares a third of your life may be mute with terror of the strife that manifests in their life.
those that need to talk aren't just sitting atop a bridge or standing on a ledge or scouting crossbeams for their ropes or holding a gun to their head.
they're the ones that hide inside themselves, not sharing their day with others they are around, in most significant ways, shut down against those that share a common path everyday, but never once asked
R U Okay?
it's okay to be bogged down by your own outside influences and it's okay to be all upside in your own head but it won't be okay if you sit in the back of a funeral where you ask yourself if you should have asked if they were Okay instead.

In the mist of early morning
when Sun is nigh and night
creatures are yawning, when
an early morning meal is
sought, one small creature
is caught

said the Fly
oh come, yea spinner
of unearthly thread
the weaver of mysteries
floating in my head
that trap me in silken
sheets upon thy bed
come now Spider
do you truly
wish me dead?

said the Spider
nay I do not wish
for you to struggle so
and break the bonds of
my simple weave, I just
wish to make acquaintance
with such a fine and free soul
Tell me what your flighty
life is like and then I'll let
you leave

said the Fly
over upon yonder apple tree
is a world of beauty, and bees,
more exotic than me, lovers of
honey and colorful, stripped
like tigers but with wings
who collect riches with their knees

Spider gasps...

and past yonder fence where
you anchor your web are incredible
birds that sing night songs inside
their gilded cage while their plumage
dulls considerably with age...
So sad they are trapped,
like me

Spider is steadily untangling
the threads of the silken trap
that has cradled the hapless fly
Spider can't stand to cage
so free a spirit that has seen
the depths of the sky, and the ocean
and possibly even the ground
which she knows she'll never see
With a promise from the Fly
they will come back with more tales
of the world beyond her web
she once again goes hungry

Fly never came back
Spider died hungry
when Bird perceived
she was weakened prey

don't you ever try to peg me
into your narrow little view
I'll change shapes, so as not to fit
and lay back, just to watch you
scream and shout,
foam at the mouth,
let expletives fly
just to leave me lie
discarded,
unworthy of a place
an unwanted puzzle piece
manufactured to take up space

don't you ever try to label me
I'm not a 99 cent basement bargain
my million dollar price tag got lost
inside your uninteresting jargon

don't you try to pin me
as a monument to your prowess
this butterfly has learnt how to lie
becoming a dragonfly under duress

don't you ever try to change me
I'm resistant to heat and *******
I'm resistant to your loquaciousness
a never ending river of it

don't you ever pigeonhole
the gregarious of my effervescence
nor tunnel upon my vision
because when you understand it
we'll both just be stuck
*inside the same prison

She was like...
that rundown house you thought was empty. With each rock thrown, broken windows let in the cold, until one day, it was finally abandoned.

The end of the world,
it just exploded!

With a smattering of light brimstone and fire and a gentle, heavenly rain.  It just started, while I stood in the kitchen, sipping tea, trying to remember my shopping list and wondering if I should even bother, to get ready for work, could I just fake it and gain another day where I could wallow? I weighted my earning ability against what a simple day, for me, would be able to gain.
It was just another day...
One that started the same as every other one, but proceeded to bleed, only to leave a stain…
Oh great, (my first thought)
just another laundry duty for me…

But I digress…

Oh yes, that’s right, I’m drinking my tea, my daughter in front of me… she starts talking, her lips are moving but her words are dissolving my existence that surrounds me...

Where was I?

Yes, there was a big explosion, the world rocked and I’m ambivalent as the earth cracks beneath me and all I can see is a world that has been shaken to its core.
My kitchen fades away… (where the hell is my cup of tea????)

I’m in the middle of the street, the people that I meet are screaming because they also felt it. That explosion that rocked their world that opened the cracks in the earth to release the fire and brimstone. Ugh, the smell of sulpher! I briefly wondered if I would ever get the smell out of our pretty, outdated, papered walls?

Again, I digress…

I’m floating above the cracks watching as humankind drops to their knees, begging their chosen Deity to save them as the fires of Hell wrap tendrils of Regret around the ankles of those that have been Chosen while a really bright light lifts those from their knees, to ascend to Nirvana, I guess they are the ones who prayed really hard… Bully for them! I guess the others should not have weaved when they should have woven!
Not me though!

I’m still floating, in between, as the world ruptures I’m still just hanging, caught between up above and down below. I don’t know if it is because, it is so obvious, Heaven will never let me in and Hell has already said Not just No… but… HELL NO!

But I digress…

What I’m completely fascinated by is that at the End of the World I’m wholly focused on the boy that is fair of hair and fair of face and appears to be full of Grace and while I thought he would ascend, he is grabbed by a lick of fire from Hell.
I’m completely fascinated, that such a nice boy, would be chosen to descend below (I honestly would have pegged him for Heaven) but I can only **** my head, and pretend I don’t see...
Honestly… what do I know?

I’m watching the World fall apart!

Explosions, fire and brimstone, completely lost souls trying to crawl into grace, it all happened to me, while drinking my tea, while my daughter stood talking to me…

What is she saying?

I’m back to standing in my kitchen, cup of tea in my hand and I actually hear the words that my daughter is saying to me and it all goes back to where it began…

So Mum, there is this boy….

Oh God! There it is…

And there is another explosion… again!

Dec 1, 2010

Only the mirror cannot lie to me
unlike you with your words of Love
I’ve tried to be deaf to all your shouts
but I can’t hide from the mirror
that shouts at me, over and over
why do I continue to pick
Olive branches from my hair
and continually step over the bodies
of each and every dove
Even at the birth of each new moon
I’m nowhere near my end destination
the fires that burn are upon wet wood
heaving beneath a false assumption
that it’s warmth it would share
I’m left shivering with cold
beneath a thin blanket of resignation
There was not a lot that I had to offer
but no other could I be
bruising in your brutality
tenderhearted as others would see
given that I was not one for this world
you used me to get further away
from Hell but now
Heavens gates won’t open for me

even while you make me

*****

as you lay me

You tripped into the rabbit hole,
but let me tell you,
I didn't trip!
I purposely fell after you,
just so you didn't travel
a new universe without me.
There are so many fantasies
that you skip upon
the light fantastic
but you never thought
I'd follow you
just to bring you back.
I've seen where you've been,
sitting with your Cheshire Grin
all I can do is hold your hand
and coax you back to reality
which I know for you is ******
We walk a fine line
between each other's truth
You tripped over
into the rabbits hole
**I threw myself

it can be over faster
than an 8 second rodeo rider
has to tighten his nuts
against the fall

man and woman
woman and man
man and man
woman and woman

it doesn't matter who falls for who
Stupid love
is indiscriminate
It's naked to any and all

some mate for life
some spawn prolifically
in a river of destiny
some drop their seed
on a passerby
never to return,
progeny never asks
why?
some whelp upon a pack
some just like to clone
some eternally are broken
most are left alone
after the act
there is no pact
or written dictates
we are all different creatures
all with similar animal traits

I am*
the Turtle
that pulls its head in
just for somewhere to rest

the Ostrich
with head in the sand
at the first sign
of protest

the Sloth
slovenly sitting
unbiasedly
in whatever tree
that holds me

A dolphin, a whale
a rhinoceroses
without fail
disappearing
from those who hunt me

Extinction is a four letter word
but it's inevitable, you see?

Because I'm all them, but not
I occupy the same Universe but
I forgot, there are creatures
less fortunate than me

Often  like them, I'm hunted
for the colour of my skin,
for my difference of opinion
admired to the point of deadliness
But existence is my only sin
It's difficult to be me
Where do I begin?

Today
I finally realised
what love truly is
then discovered
after 21 years
I don't have it

how I can taste rain
and feel colours
or fake a smile
when I feel pain

how I juggle chances
and question silence
or how I can sit a while
and scream for answers

how I can pretend
when the end is near
there is no hand holding
no one to hold dear

how all that I had
I'm reminded of at the end
and how I'm being forced
to begin again

I Stopped to Pick a Flower

I saw today, a little Mayflower
blooming from the broken ground
born from a dry earth and dry eyes
It grew there without a sound

I stopped to smell, and maybe touch,
it's dewy visage was a delight
I saw today a little Mayflower
that had grown throughout the night

I'm sure I've said it a thousand times
Life comes with no guarantees
Don't weep for me, for the lesson you see, is I am that little Mayflower

that's right!

I was in the middle
of a poppy field
and several butterflies
asked me a million questions
and every answer ended with
I don't know
every four seasons
ended with snow
every little brush of wings
made my heart sing
and the years flow
Each season between Winter
moved beneath my ribs
so slow
Each little insect that alighted
on my pale, perfect skin
I slighted!
I slapped in outrage,
committing an unforgivable sin
Perfect little creatures
with perfectly small frames
perfectly fine bones
that never knew shame
Perfect little feet
that sat gently on my frame
I slapped them all down
one by one
thinking they should take the blame

hmm, where was I?

thats right*

I was perpetually drifting
in my own shame

Beautiful, reborn
to a life you could not be
But you are not me

I am hunted for
my beauty for all to see
Pinned upon a board

My wings pulled outwards
stretched tight for the world to see
You still don’t see me

An exhibition
Another crucifixion
on a piece of wood

I appreciate
that you want to capture love
by my perfect form

but don't **** me so
you can set yourself free, just
Appreciate me

Do not pin me up
like a poster child of love
I am more like you

Creature of beauty
that is bound by a duty
To be, not to do

Hello Death,

I wear your crown
I've always worn it without a frown

We've shared some ****
Gone round for round

I had the rope, in the shed
It was old
"I've changed my mind"
I think I said

Now I wear a frown...

Restless nights leave my breath locked
It pains me to know that you have knocked

because, Death...

I am weak

It's Hell I seek but
I'll no longer wear your crown,
without a frown

I'm not your clown