From sleeping in streets to walking miles alone I have come to a direction the page just cannot follow my friends .
I have chased the bottom of a glass since I was fifteen and that was to far to be anything more than a blurred memory.

And to the times that seemed to matter.
Now only to those who haven't lived my existence a lone wolf knows no true  direction just simply howls to let the others know he does still exist.

Are words betray us and then eventually it all fades .
I'm not the act I'm the delusion that fueled a ego now left to wither a dead tree in a forest of many .

None will recall but far to many will simply use ******* when facts get in there way of a good story .

Tonight I sat under a full moon and howled as the wolves often do.

There was only silence that followed the eco .

Even the lost know there is no hope for the madness .
When your words betray you and only a dead tree remains.

Maybe another time the stars will find me in good favor .
And like those around tonight will listen and only stay silent to the lone wolfs howl.

so I'll just say

see ya

maybe next to the swings
or sitting on the bench

both places
we used to like to sit
and cry

he sat in the chair
beside her bed
gently holding her hand

she stared at a face
withered fingers
could not trace

as he whispered

I Am Your Man

he sat by her
as she dreamed
he held her
as she screamed
he bathed her sweated brow
repeating his sacred vow

I loved you at first sight
Even though I didn't
get it right, but even now
as the sun sets, I'll get it
right now

She heard his words
riding the glittering rainbow
of Pain
she knew the same
she had given the same vow
to him long ago
she knew in the now
it was time to let go

Her last words to him
wrapped in delight
and delivered on a first kiss

She said to him

if you remember nothing,
remember this...

*I loved you in darkness
I loved you deep
I loved you in sorrow
in happiness my heart keeps
your soul, which I shall borrow
but to my shame
I'll keep it until tomorrow

I liked everything about you

your body, your soul,
your poems, your kiss
your not so gentle touch
your brushing fingertips?
your secrect smile,
your irreverence
your ability to sing,
your inability to dance?
your shy way of smiling
your angry way of
communication
your cute way of saying
*I'm not your exhale
but your inhalation?

do you know how hard it is
to shake yourself
from a near death experience?

it can take a lot of alcohol
and staying up late
just to watch
a loved one breathe
so soft and evenly
in sleep

it's hard to calm hands
that continue to tremble

it's hard to close eyes
that picture them tumble

it's hard to equate
they are lying by your side
when just a small amount
of different circumstances
meant they could have died

I don't understand the universe
or if cosmic chances
are a real thing
all I understand is
the warm body that's lying
next to me tonight
is testament to a life
I'll never take for granted
he's lucky to be alive tonight
I'm lucky he's here beside me
continuing to be
*my everything