In the silence of the raindrops
as we lay together on the tide
I'm affected by the thunder
as you slumber by my side
I want to reach out to you
and let the lightening arc
I want to throw my body
over you, to shelter you
from the dark
I want to let the rainfall
be the rhythm that enhances
I want to let the thunder whisper
the intricacies of our dances
I want to let the lightening speak
of our most profound intimacies
I want this unusual occurrence
to be about just you and me

Just a twinkle in the night sky
A yearning to be someone
A sparkle in the darkest night
Your journey has just begun

Peanut…
Longing to grow into your long held dream
but at just little more than heart and soul
your sudden appearance holds me in thrall

Tadpole…
Swimming in a safe haven
developing on the wings of dreams
you start to understand what it all means

Little Human…
Longing for the world of open spaces
waiting to arrive, you see, you hear, you feel
to bring a touch to a life you can heal

Miracle…
A breath, a cry, held tight against warm skin
bursting into life with little fanfare
all your senses become aware

A shock of hair, a cupid smile
a perfect name to suit
an amazing gift from the Tree of Life
my precious Belly Fruit

© Helen Doogan 09/09/2010

I just want to wrap my hands
around your neck
and squeeze too hard for so long
that the petechial hemorrhage
that burst like an exploding universe
in your eyes, cries me a river of blood
My fingers simply twitch
to slap you for your travesty
so your head whips around
to look back on yesterday
I want to lay you down
like a spike strip on the highway
of my nightmares
so you can share the feeling
of being run over at 60 mile an hour
just so you know what it's like
when people stop to stare
at the car wreck of life
I want you to be the test dummy
of the most ill built car
and watch your spine snap
as you hurtle into space
at the dead end of a trap
I want you to be the fish
with the hook stuck in your gills
floundering, ill equipped,
unprepared to breathe air
I want you banged up, mangled,
discombobulated, eating dirt
and when you try to take
your next breath
you may know a fraction
of my hurt

When you are sitting at the bar
4 hours past midnight
It's not a pretty sight
Where nothing little nobody's
predicted in their field of pleasure
and the acres of green grass
chose at their own leisure
Goats and sheep for upkeep
like raiding a tomb for treasure
Sitting at the end of the bar
watching the byplay like ESPN
voicing Hits and Misses
and deep end missed plays
it's easier to stay disconnected
when you're just calling the game
except, at Last Call,
when all the goats and sheep
found someone to meet
to take home to make hay
and your just sitting,
sipping your tonic and gin
all you hear is
Hey! Last Call!
you can't stay, for another day
you go home alone
goats and sheep aren't your thing
but you think it's amazing
that you heard the bells
Last Call
you missed the play

Death came to me at just 15
my brother never made it home
He died as a simple passenger
a car accident victim, not alone
It came to me again at 27
my cousin who became my brother,
lit himself on fire, literally
because he had no other
but he was married, with 2 kids
she had left him earlier
you could still smell the burnt rubber
from her skids...
It came to me 6 years ago
when my Dad succumbed to Cancer
the big C, to see him weakening
was a blow, but he started to know
God at this time.
It made me angry!
First to recognise his Athiesim
Second to see him succumb
Third to finally see him bribe
his way through remaining time
What do you know?
perhaps God recognised his crime...
Death comes to me
every time I read the news
It hits just as hard
as if I knew
each and every soul lost
even though they are just names
written on paper
I think I might know death
just like you do
I mourn, but prefer
It waits for me
*Later

There is no better freedom then  in this highway and the thrill of a willing soul beside you before your nights end.
Maybe we thirst for the attraction of something strange maybe its just the thirst to feel something at all.

A razors sting and a steady breeze the highways marker leaves my epitaph no visitors need darken this place for I have long since outgrew  my coffin so long ago.

Taste it with me my dear for nothing goes better with agony than a good dash of simple lust.

Strip clubs and the most elegant neon light I hold my glass to view it's reflection sometimes we all lose track me I find more solace in a dead end street than laying beside another as empty as me.

We viewed the wreck a wicked pleasure we knew it was destined we simply didn't care .

Maybe I'm the one who finds comfort of the depths a train that cuts the nights silence so haunting yet peaceful all the same.

Burnt out promises and one night stands faces change yet the reflection although aged still shadows my past my friend how have you been,
And are you still tortured as I?

When there gone is almost as empty as when there here .
Enjoy your company and speak without the ******* that so many others choose to spawn in such well intended lies .

I pass my hours alone a bottle and my thoughts a highway always before me .

Paradise is was in the moments like old photos they haunt my thoughts as they cling to faded walls of sentimental fools none such as misplaced as I.

Dim lit confessions so tragic the flaws .
Nothing shines as beautiful as a  match within a vacant room.

We are reflections of the embers and nothing more .
So ****** up and so perfectly flawed by design.

And then there was a silence that spoke deeper than any words ever could.

True story, word for word*

17 year old Son
calls his Mum

and says

Can you stop
at the shops,
and buy me,
a pair of thongs
and a box
of condoms