written July 14, 2014

"The early bird and the night owl living under the same roof was strange
And being two different kinds of birds they both flew their own way
One was a night time dweller, up making mischief late at night
The other was an early waker, up at 7 for her morning flight
And despite their differences they somehow agreed
To live under the same canopy, under the same small oak tree"

written June 16, 2014

"Guilt thrives beneath my skin
As I think within
Of my unbearable sin
I can't believe I attended this journey I'm in
How long has it been?
Since I've been drinking gin?
And of course, many other liquors
Beer seems to be my chosen fate
But how funny is it that I relate
To my alcoholic family trait
Thought it was all so great
But now I'm stumbling and can't even walk straight
And of course, think straight too
I chug this brew
As I am winning this game for us two
But us two are just a few individuals who
Can chug 4 beers and not be through
And of course, this is high school
But why are we feeling so cool as we fill our bodies with liquors and fuel
That is nothing but hurting our bodies,
It's cruel
Or maybe it's not about being cool.
But about not being over ruled or ridiculed for the way that we are
Of course,
These are just one girls thoughts
As she sits at the bar, distraught
And this is the of course source
of all teenage discourse"

written May 18, 2014

"Maybe if you used protection then you wouldn't have me
I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the reason you're unhappy
Every time you say 'you need a job' or 'I can't wait till you're out of high school'
All of that translates into my head 'I can't wait to live a life without you'
Maybe if you used protection this wouldn't be a problem
All these ******* complaints you have, all of them solvable
Because half the time you're *******, it's over the flaws I have made
Yet you never ******* appreciate the goodness I have portrayed
I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm inferior in your life
Maybe if you used protection, I wouldn't be up writing this late at night
I'm so over the ******* and yelling and complaints
Maybe if you used protection, I wouldn't be your lives constraint
And I'm sick and tired of feeling unloved and unwanted
Because every time you say 'goodnight' I end up feeling daunted
In fear, I move very slow in hope that I won't wake you
Because everyone knows if that were to happen, all hell would break loose
And I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the reason you're unhappy
Maybe if you used protection then you wouldn't have me"

written March 23, 2014

"I have sinned more then you'll ever know
You be the car baby, I'll be the road
You can drive all over me, like you've done before
Say 'let's be friends' then go **** some *****
And I don't understand why I want you still
I'd climb any mountain, I'd climb every hill
Just for you, to look at me like you used to do
That look you gave me, honest and true
It engraved 'I love you' into my heart
And I thought that was the start
Of us having a long lasting love
A spark lit that wouldn't fade till dawn
And when dawn approached, you would leave peacefully and we would still be civil
I guess you couldn't wait for that, I was too young and naïve for your needs
I'm sorry I'm boring
I'm sorry I'm young
I'm sorry I didn't do the right justice with my tongue
Every time you talk to me
Every ******* time you're near me
I just want to be next to you again, in your arms I would be
I just want what we had
Back"

written March 17, 2014

"Inside the wandering eyes of that black glossy stare is
A happy girl, destined to break out of the
Metal cage that surrounds her. It's locked shut, barbed wired and keyed
Now only one guy, can open and succeed, you see
Opening up this dark black box, can lead to the best thing you ever have
Thought. a beautiful, jubilant, loving young girl, who'd make your toes curl
Over the thoughts of her signing your name on the tip of your tongue a orchestral
Variation that you won't ever want to stop....but, it did.
Every day since the day you left, the smile she once had, hid behind
Rails of metals bars, and barbed wire that rusted into itself over time. because
You're not there anymore, you're no longer 'mr. he's mine'
Occupying her mind, she's not fine and
Understand me when I say, she's not over you"

written February 28, 2014

"It's 11:03 and I just got back from seeing you
No, I did not think I would still be into you
But you cut your hair and straightened up your act
Despite what everyone says, I really want you back
Now I'm home, intoxicated and a little uneasy
Because I still have feelings for you,
the ones that aren't just ******
You see, the way you talked, your demeanor and all
I want you back, I want you all
This is a ****** poem, because I'm drunk and tired maybe,
but my sober thoughts are emerging and I want you back baby
I wish upon a 11:11 for you to hear my cries
To realize what I'm saying. and feel it deep inside
I want to fill you with love, from your toes to your head
I want to show you how I love you, while I sleep with you in bed
I want to drown you in my love for you, like a rock thrown in the river
Still when I talk to you, I get the shivers
Because you do something to me,
Something I can't explain
I wish I could show you but that would be insane
Because I love you to the moon and back
and I just really
REALLY
Want
You
Back"

written February 2, 2014

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
My eyes are filled, these tears I weep
His love I wish wouldn't fade
And would wish me 'good morning' the next day

Now I lay me down to sleep,
My eyes still cry, for you I weep
Your false assumptions and miscommunication I lack
Where did you go? I want the old you back
This came out of nowhere - what the hell did I do?
Just two weeks ago you claimed 'I love you'

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
It's because you made my kind heart ache
With your unexpected desire
to be with someone other than me
I hope you remember,
when you visit me

Now I lay me down to sleep,
In my coffin down underneath
Now I'm saved, from the misery and pain
And I hope you know you're the one to blame"