expansive untold body revealed in moonlit splendor.
obscure and nebulous.
seductive and serene.
offers relief from the swirling, ever-whirling thoughts in my head.
if i were to desend, and beneath each crest remain, i could escape
existence.

my eyes: see nothing, yet see everything.
my arms: reach out and feel nothing, yet each fingertip electric.
thighs, knees, calves, ankles, feet, remain solid and strong.
propel me forward sans fatigue.
they are present, powerful.
carry me.
carry me.
these other parts, they are at home here.
my back softens, each rib *dissolved.

A delicate rose,  its petals pale.

Always been aside, outsider and a stranger.
And as she gaze at the horizon, all she saw was an ocean of fear.

A small island, they called it hope, appeared and disappeared.
A broken  porcelain doll, too fragile to play with
Yet too ugly to be seen as a little decoration.

The last petal fell.

And she is me, my mind and soul, my thoughts and conscious.
I stare with empty eyes, I read the words.
I want to laugh and cry, but ill deny - at any cost - that I have ever read
theses lines.

My heart goes out, Im worried sick but no, I wont say any single thing.
Because Im still a little rose.
And I am drowning in the ocean - the island is not at sight.

And Im afraid of being once again the little doll that  has been thrown away.
And I forever remain silent.

My heart wants to scream, but its my mind that's got the key to my sealed lips.

Don’t date people who drink coffee.

But especially don’t date people who claim they love coffee
then drown it in sugar and cream.

Those are the ******* that will break your heart.
They claim they love coffee and then they manipulate it
until it’s something they can tolerate.
They don’t love coffee at all. They like sickening sweet sugar water.
They like pretending to love coffee.

The sort of person who goes to Starbucks every morning and demands a
Venti,
Non-Fat,
No Foam,
Sugar Free with extra ice and three pumps of hazelnut
is the sort of person who will slowly find every quirk that makes you who you are
and destroy it to fit their lifestyle.

(I wrote you
the same **** love letter over
and over
and over again
and I will keep
writing it)
(until one of us understands)

I look out the window and see you running alongside the train
I close my eyes and images of you flood my brain
All the fairytales told me you'd come when I needed you most
Craving to know the curves of your face..
Feels like I'm searching for a ghost

Darling, please put your arm around my waist

I'm at my lowest, a damsel in distress
Rescue me
Make me feel whole without taking off my dress

This year I'll bleed for better reasons.

I'll take a tumble after a night of drinking at the bar,
knees skinned and raw because I wasn't used to my heels.
I'll brush it off and let the blood trickle down my legs
as I stumble back home at 2 am.

I'll learn to hold my liquor.

I'll bite my tongue a thousand times and taste copper.
Whether silencing myself for my mother or my professor,
the friend who thinks she's always right. Or the *******
who's screaming sexist jargon.

I'll learn to pick my battles.

I'll cook myself delicious meals and the knife will slip
while I chop shallots and potatoes for my feast built for one.
I'll let my ****** battle wounds season the food and I
won't flinch at the thought of eating another meal alone.

I'll learn to love myself.

I'll pull the knife from my heart and back and wield them
like weapons fit only for my hands. I'll lick the blade clean
and scare anyone who dares try and harm me.

I'll never bleed for you again.
I'll bleed for better reasons.