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Graff1980 Nov 2017
I’m too tired to see.
So, I need caffeine
to relieve me,
with windshield wiper
efficiency,
of this mental fog.

I slip the restraints
of fatigue
that are bound to me
so, I can see
how the concrete streets
in this city
strangle mother nature.

Trees are confined
to small yards
and other enclosed spaces.
Till, there are only
small traces
of that sweet elm smell.

All mammals and insects
hide when I inspect
the small amount of foliage
that I am able to find.

The birds that I love
hide themselves away,
ceasing their delightful chirping
when I walk their way.

Even the stars are obscured
by the city’s light pollution
creating the illusion
of an almost blank
blackish blue canvass
that stretches across
the night sky.

But I know the truth.
This city
is only temporary.
It will fall and fade
after we all pass away.
Graff1980 Jun 2017
You want to raise
an army of hate
but I cannot
ride the river Styx
and face Hade’s gate
with anger in my face.

I dare not visit
similar grief
upon a stranger’s life.
I will not see
a stranger’s wife
weep terribly
because I believed
I was better than he.

You want to raise
an army to rage
and ravage
all that lays
displayed,
flesh splayed
folded open
with blood ink
to write
your history pages.

So, when
you command men
to turn upon those
who once
could have been known
as friend,
I will close my eyes,
turn around,
put my weapons down,
say my sweet goodbyes
to love and life,
and let you label me
as a man of treason,
a king of reason.
I will swallow my spite
and for just this one
last night.
I will do what is right
and die refusing to fight.
Graff1980 Mar 2015
It makes us
It breaks us
Shreds us
To pieces
Lifts us up
Causes us to retreat
In solemn defeat
To repeat
Painful behavior
It is *******
And Agony
Hope binds us
And separates us
From our humanity
Graff1980 May 2017
Long gray streaks
become
bone thin
dragon men
that spread
their wings
across the
afternoon sky,
monsters that
soar hard before
the heavy clouds
burst,
dropping their
acid spit
all over
our planet.
Graff1980 Sep 2017
The cold glow
of a frozen morning,
the thin layer
translucent,
I look through it
to see the stiff blade
of nature’s green
barely surviving
The sun is up there,
but seems to be
emitting null energy.
It is a subdued
ball of fire
burning softly
in the dawn colored sky.
I remove my shoe
then the other one to
to move through
the wet grass
as the ice cracks
and releases
its hostages.
My tank top shoulders
shiver straight down to
the fingers I used
to poke holes in the earth
for no apparent reason.
For now, I am immortal,
unaware that death
is always there
unable to identify
that black shrouded guy
who hounds us all.
I just enjoy
this early frost in fall
as I crawl across
this ice laden landscape.
Graff1980 Oct 2017
In the night
the fountain
spits red light
streams of water
with a little
blinking blue
to skew the view.
Graff1980 Jun 2017
Paintings may portray
a wide array
of life so gay,
but it is only
a still life
that the painters paint,
and the only time
we find that life is still
is when it has gone away.
Graff1980 Jun 2017
She hides quietly,
folding the saffron scented apron
over here shy blue eyes;
A timid and mini sized
mirror of his younger life.

Her mother smiles,
gently pushing her
sweet Penelope
forward to meet
the man coming in
from off the street.

Out of a cab
with a camouflaged
duffle bag
watery eyes
weep.
Not hers
but his
are wet
with the same blueness.

His uniform smells
but does not repel
her curiosity.
Inches away
from his scraggly face
a tiny voice timidly says.
“Are you my daddy?”

With one hand
he wipes away
the purest tears.
With his other arm
he pulls her into
the deepest embrace.
Graff1980 Aug 2017
The ego is obsessed with expansion,
moving far beyond equilibrium
absorbing all that is given him;
Like the people who are given in
to unreasonable expectation,
the ego is demanding recognition
not asking for any permission,
but stomping on the feet of strangers,
and climbing over stumbling mothers
just to get the **** that it wants.
Graff1980 Jul 2016
Rescue me
And my lonely heart
A broken mirror for
A matchstick man
Sees me falling apart

Help me out
Ease that throbbing ache
Cause I can’t undo
Everyone’s mistake

They say that the hand that loves you
Can help or hurt you
They say that it is better to love
And loss
Then to not have loved at all

I say that the ones that broke you
Might be able to help fix you
But I do not know if they still exist

Rescue me
From these winter nights
Take me out of this
Useless life
if you can’t love me
For my humanity
Then just take me out
Of this human plague
Of insanity
Graff1980 Aug 2015
I have to admit
That I absorb
Other peoples ****
And even though
I live to know
Thrive to grow
And show
People the truth
Sometimes
I get stuck to
Graff1980 Oct 2017
I was hungry
and you fed me
angrily.

I was naked
and you clothed me
then ripped
those fabrics
in random bouts
of domestic
violence.

I needed shelter
and you turned
a home into
a prison
where the warden
was you.

I was thirsty
and I drank
your poisonous brew
learning to hate myself
as much as you do to.
Graff1980 Oct 2017
He confessed his love with open heart
A gamble the house had fixed from the start
He could never hope to win
Within his own tortured skin
Buried deep with hopeful eyes
Swollen tongue and blackened flesh
Worms digest the best
Leaving little here to rest
It was a gamble as I said before
But the house will always claims it take
Either rushed or relaxed we all pay the same stakes
Graff1980 Jan 2016
How do you find peace
When you are sleep deprived
When you live to die
Working your life away
On the midnights
Tired, so tired
Caffeine
Till caffeine
Doesn’t do a thing
And when you crash
Eight hours in to
Your twelve hour shift
Life feels like ****
Tears want to run
Even if the sun shines
You are not fine
Rain drops that once
Saw you dancing
Now makes you cry
And you can’t figure out why
Everything is a trigger
And you can’t seem to figure
Out why you were smiling
At ten but at four a.m.
You’re breaking down again
Graff1980 Jun 2017
We all leave each other
one way another.
One door out,
an exit some live to see.
Parting lovers
fall to pieces
and with broken hearts
learn to live in grief
while others leave
buried underneath
large patches of dirt.
Thus, in time’s passing
we live to see
all the memories
of those who’ve left
fade to the fatigue of
our tiny existence.
Graff1980 Apr 2017
You have been crying
begging to be freed
expressing the need
to be released
from the patriarchy
while praying on bended knees
in a place of worship
to an imaginary father figure
who was used
to justify the abuse
you are trying to fight,
the man who gave men the right
to own you, and other slaves to.

You think you are
fighting the people in power
but every Sunday
you head back that way
One step a head
then two back towards
a fake future that
only happens when you are dead.

Yep, you will never break free
of your hated patriarchy
until you reject the farcical
spiritual rituals of the men in black
who feed you crap
take your cash and never give it back
just to tell you what a fictional character
wants you to do.
Graff1980 Jul 2017
Is it just me.
when I see
strangers crying
frequently
I tear up to?
Graff1980 Jan 2017
Eyes crusted,
brittle bits
Of dream dust
Flake off
as I try to rise
and face
the light blue
morning sky.

Bare feet,
short sleeved,
shirt, and soft
sweat pants
wear me
as I rush
carefully
outside
to my ride
to grab
the stuff I need.

Cold winds
stab me
deep frigid daggers
invigorating.
I growl like
a warrior of
long ago days
awakened in
frosted fury.

What a beautiful day
I bellow
to no one
as I run back in
smiling,
brave and powerful.

The door does not open.
I knock but no one
comes to meet me.
I shiver
sighing deeply
“**** its cold.”
Graff1980 Aug 2017
I am fiercer then
the finest fires
of dragon breath.
As I hold her head
to my sturdy chest
there is an instinct
that buzzes through
to protect and comfort
this ***** blonde beauty.
She knew me
before her deepest sorrow.
Now tears crack her face
splitting dry sides
with wet lines
of grief.
I feel guilt
and a little relief
that she needs me.
I don’t want to be
super creepy
but I love her.
I always have.
She doesn’t laugh
at that.
She just says it was always obvious.
I make her smile and chuckle.
I hold her closer.
I rub her feet and shoulders.
I know she doesn’t love me.
I just want to be
right here in her time of need.
I just want to act and prove
that I can love her unselfishly
even if she never sees
that sparkle of desire for me.
I’ll take days,
week, years, or decades
and be sorry when
she discards me
for some other man.
Graff1980 Oct 2017
The water falls fast
while most of the strange people
are safely sequestered
in their silent homes
to wait out
this severe thunderstorm.

Strangers make their way
as the storm fades
out into the early day.

Tank tops are wet,
less with sweat,
and more with
the warm
summer storm
bath.

This humid summer heat
Is a like a sauna

Dark green leaves
move softly
with a cooling breeze
while pointing in
so many direction
and awaiting new
chlorophyll dreams.

Like long ago lullabies
those thick limbs
come tumbling down
and sinking in
the soft brown ground.

A minor mud slide
makes black sludge overlap
onto the grey cracked cement
leaving black tracks
when bikes cycle through.

The church black top
is finally down to
its last two
wet spots.

A sunken roof
with white chipped paint
makes the yellow house
look like it in
a lot of pain.
Graff1980 Nov 2016
At least my disposition
is greatly improved
by exercise, which is why
I am moved to move more.
Graff1980 Feb 2016
A smile hides the month of November
Beautiful eyes of autumnal colors
Words that slip from a honey tasting tongue
Poetical genius
Salted words that split the world between us
The universe a cracked atom, nuclear
In desire I pleaded with broken eyes
To be connected instead of in love together alone
Leaving slightly fulfilled, soul spilled
In awe, devastated
Desiring more than desire
Graff1980 Jan 2016
Please
Don’t bury yourself
Don’t hurry along
Don’t forget me
When I am gone

I always thought
I’d outlive you all
But just in case
I’m the first to fall
Don’t bury me
In the ground
Carry me with you
As you leave
This wretched town
Graff1980 Jan 2017
Please do not forget me.
Though I am but a song
that dances on the breeze,
a wind instrument with sounds
that float like a leaf
in pre-storm winds,
when my tunes ends
please remember
my sweet sad melody.
Graff1980 Dec 2015
Never was a home so horrible
Bitter bile that broke my body
Violence that scarred my soul
Her desire to control
To ravage me with her anger
Little boy in danger
And all I ever wanted
Was peace
Graff1980 Jan 2017
I do not miss that face of rage;
How she curled and furrowed it
making her face like clay
squashed and compacted in hate,
a monster in pain behind her eyes.

Still human of course
but demon in scores
controlled her hands
or so she claimed.
To shift the blame
or hide her shame
more then
one time she dared to say
the devil made me do it.

if I were a better man
perhaps I could let that pass
but I have made that face
punched my way
through solid things
seldom striking any human being
in anything less than self-defense.

Perhaps that was or is my pretense
not a demon but a lie to justify
the same darkness that hides
behind both of our eyes.

Maybe, I cannot forgive her
because I am afraid
that I have the same pain and rage.
So, I refuse to forgive myself.
Graff1980 Apr 2017
Well, we curse to.
Till we see the crack.
There is a point of light
but the darkness will come back.

So, I sit and swallow
pure sugar cane hope,
that sprouts in my throat
and grows into sorrow.
Until, I am paralyzed
by surprise.

People pay the politicians
to secure their poorer positions
while wealthy businessmen
keep on ******* them
with their business interest.

Another click and they unfriend,
another day as I try and bend
contorting myself to see their side
while they hide behind the lies
and bullet hole riddled talking points.

They say god bless America
and pray to support the troops
while I say no more war
please and thank you.
I tell them the truth
but they just call me an *******
and do what they were programmed to do.

I guess this poetry is more for me
then it is for you,
but you can share it to.
if your feeling blue
then this truths for you.

I love you
and peace out.
Graff1980 Aug 2015
What fools these lovers be
That rush so rashly
Foaming forth
Like the oceans edges
Standing just upon the precipice
Of life and passions fury
With one misstep
Find themselves
Dashed to pieces
And still the thrill
Would be enough for me
To risk said suffering
For just a chance to feel that alive
Graff1980 Aug 2015
It’s a wonderful day to play this tired story
For the witless warring men and women
A musical endeavor but it’s so boring
Singing bits of bad poetry on the stage
Oh no the dull dig this shin dig
Oh no they forgot the quality of art we sought
Oh no I think I Just become a pompous snot
Oh well I’ve lived with stupid people long enough
To know that **** flows better than brilliance
Graff1980 Apr 2015
We must move on
The soft earth we tread on
Holds the dead
Holds our dread
Hope we find peace instead
Graff1980 Feb 2017
From higher heart I dare aspire
Loving thine eyes now flushed with life
Lips locked in my mind less for lust
More for their moistness and brazen fullness
Hands tenderly touching my aching ego
I wrap myself within your kindness
Use you as a cover to smother my body
Wear you like a perfectly polished chest plate
Two threads woven tightly together
Flesh on flesh to douse this infernal rage
Softness to soothe the sadness of my soul
*** to satiate my addictive nature
With healing hands softly stroking
You calm my heart no longer broken
Graff1980 Oct 2017
This is one of the strangest realizations i have ever had. I thought that i hated myself. But when one hates oneself they do everything they can to avoid being alone in silence because quiet solitude leads to deep reflection and self hate and silent reflection do not mix well. However, i find a sweet contentment in these quiet moments. I am not terrified of what thoughts might bubble up from my unconscious.
Graff1980 Mar 2017
This is not a request
but an urgent need
that I whisper out into
the cold morning dew
that froze before
the glowing form
of you.

It is a yearning that rips
my internal compass asunder
sending me in a tizzy
of undefined directions
in pursuit of
such cardinal sins
that make me long
to plunder the bounty
that flows from within
to out and back around again.

It is a list that I wish
to send to you
of the many ***** things
I need to do
like taste your glistening lips
indulge the full folds
of wet flavor
as I labor
to bend you to
pleasure’s will
and her unrestrained
passions.
My tongue will savage
your enflamed ****
whipping and whirling
sending you swirling
lips curling
in an uncontrollable
******* smile.

It is a beast that needs to be released
appeased by what pleases
both partners so deeply
in the sweet sea of intimacy.
For I have long imprisoned him
behinds bars of rationality
and brick blocks of logic,
When all he longs to do
is to submit to you,
to twist his neck and be exposed,
to let those deep emotions go
and grow till they bulge
breaking the ****
that ****** him for his desires.

Please do not be dismissive
of the fierce but submissive
animal inside of me
who wants and needs
to push and pull
until he succeeds
in filling the hole
inside two split souls.

It is the same kind mind
that you will find
softly stroking
your strangely strangled ego.
Drop your dress
and let me express
what I repress.
Give me your breast.
Give me your flesh
and I will worship
the sweet scented
sacrament
of you.
Graff1980 Jul 2018
The practical pianist
played for perfection’s sake
not for pleasure
and that
was her mistake.
Graff1980 Sep 2017
She was not an angel
but  still she had
the gift of empathy,
with eyes able to see
deep inside
to human suffering
because she knew
that well of sorrows
better than others.
With a siren’s tongue
She could speak wisdom
softening the sharp sorrows
of the strangers that
would come
to her for healing.
She was a gifted healer
though seldom ever able
to ease her own suffering.

He was a slender trickster
with a strange aspect.
Dark shadows danced
deep inside his corneas,
reminiscent
of the old apparitions
that still haunted him.

Neither evil nor good
but misunderstood
the trickster
moved to entice her.
He wooed her with words,
wines, and revelries.
Till she succumbed to
his devilries,
and for a while
they laughed
and smiled,
living a little
happily ever after affair.
Eventually,
darkness ensnared
the light that they shared.
The trickster ran away scared
leaving the enchantress
alone to bare
all the dark shadows.

I tried to approach her,
to break the barrier
she built up in pain
to help the healer
heal again,
but her long
lover affair
with the trickster
left her unwilling
to open herself up,
and now I suffer to
knowing there
is nothing that I can do
to save her from the pain.

I do not know
where the trickster went,
or if he ever returned
when his fear was spent,
but last I saw
of my sweet sister
she was still struggling
to get clear
of the chaos.

Sometimes
at night
I hear her sorrowful songs,
they are beautiful,
but I find tears cloud my eyes
and I cannot listen too long
or I just might
cry until I die.
Graff1980 Feb 2019
Given enough room
I become a ****** bloom,
cause I am a tasty morsel of flesh
that lets all whom I love
gnaw me to death.
Graff1980 Sep 2017
Where there are tears
there is hope.
If you are crying
you’re still surviving.
Unless you are dying,
but there are still seconds
to keep trying,
to be better,
to be kind,
and pass that goodness
down the line,
plant the bloom,
so someone can find
compassion on
that old grapevine.
Graff1980 Aug 2017
Put the tears away.
Don’t let the memories
stain your face.
They are only echoes
of actions in the past
sounding in a canyon
but those vibrations never last.

You remember
cold weeks in December
were bare feet sprung
up and over your plastic window
out into the thick bed of snow
where no one else would go,
so you could know
a few minutes of frozen freedom.

I promise,
you do not have to go back
to that dark black shadow
that once shredded your heart.
You do not have to look
into the mirror that has been
shattered apart.

You remember,
nervous breaths.
How Tensions forced you
to flinch
at the slightest touch.
Short hairs pulled.
Favorite shirts torn
by rages you did not deserve.

I swear that now
if you do not miss it.
You will not have to revisit
that painful *******.
Close your eyes
rest tonight.

This is the present
of your so called peaceful life.
That little boy blue
who wore his bruises
under his aching skin
will not come back here again.
Graff1980 Nov 2016
Self-crucified am I
saw a red flower fall and bloom,
one rose in an abandoned road
unfurling its petals before noon.
I made myself a modern martyr
sacrificed purely for the god of me;
hanging from a bleeding tree
singing psalms of redemption
that no one else ever heard.
Graff1980 Apr 2017
Why should she want a love
That says it owns her
And the only thing that matters
Is losing herself in it
Why can’t she have a love
That grows with her
And in its’ wonder finds herself
Growing to
Graff1980 Jul 2017
The castle cut
a harsh stone figure
with the winds
of this icy winter
piercing its
outer layer
and winding its way
through deep
cavernous corridors
seeking candle created shadows
and forcing them to flicker
and dance.

Rapt waves of water moved
with the wind’s will as well
brushing up
against its base
then backing fast away.

I was the mayfly there
to observes such splendors.
My life, less than a day
in eternity
but I lived long enough
to gift these words to thee,
golden goddess
sweet guardian
of the flying castle
that finally fell
somewhere near
the heart of my
imagination.
Graff1980 Mar 2017
They can **** you
long before you retire.
A sore muscle
becomes a blown-out knee
compounded upon
every other ache
and blistering pain.

No sleep
cause you work
almost every day
doing it the
addicting
cigarette,
coffee,
caffeine,
and
nicotine
way.

Stress,
till, tension
numbs,
till, the beating drums
barely thud
then beat no more
ceasing before
you even hit
sixty-four.

Now you wonder what
you were worrying about
retiring for
when we are barely surviving
anymore.
Graff1980 Jan 2016
Lurking and working its natural will
Compromising with surprising ease
Eyelids flicker faintly to tease
Yawning and stretching expecting
No sleep, must keep awake
Thoughts become slippery
Focus become elusive
Anxiety builds
Upon a failing foundation
Facing no respite for night
I sit and write
Longing for the cover’s quilted embrace
Three and a half hours down
With to many more to go
Before my eyes can close
I slip a sip of caffeinated nastiness
Down my throat
Sadly it only eases exhaustion slightly
Graff1980 Feb 2015
A kingly stature makes peace
Does not feed or free hate’s beast
Nor ties it to a leather leash
But through wisdom find its’
Causes for fury turn to tranquil release
Graff1980 Jun 2016
Trust me there is so much more to you then the person who broke your heart. You are a river of words in which you can never step on the same thought twice. Please do not be defined by what you no longer have, be unlimited, unchained to a past which causes you so much pain.
This is for all the heartbroken poets.
Graff1980 May 2016
It is better to delve into the darkness
When I am restless
To trace a thin line
That tracks back
To all other conscious minds
In my own timeline
Revisiting people I used to be
Those ones who are no longer me
Completely lost in seven year cycles
Fractional deaths in the form of
Complete regeneration
Till not a single original cell remains
And all that I have is my name
And memories
But even the memories change
Graff1980 Jan 2015
What savage hunger gnaws upon my flesh
Rotten soul seeking sweet rest
Aching chest seeking loving breast
Painful lungs seeking beloved breath
Yet in each false step I find myself starved
Graff1980 Feb 2017
It is late at night
when I sit back
watching the daughter
I never had
start to laugh.

A weird dream
that is set on repeat
as she
plays at my feet
then fades like
a shadow.

I hear her voice
in my head
begging me to read
another story
or slyly offering
to read to me,
making me
smile proudly
at her clever ploy
to stay awake late
after I have already
tucked her in.

All the books
that I read,
I give to her
instead
of donating them
to my nearest
librarian.

All my friends
think they know
the reason I say no
to the idea of
a family to come
but the truth
in fact
is the hope
that I’d lack
if my dream daughter
never came back.

There is a lot of pain I can bear
but that would break me beyond repair.


We are a multitude of voices
relished while being raised
exalted for our exquisite visages
and voracious vocals that violate
the dark intent of men
who seek to profit from the enslaved.
Graff1980 Dec 2015
I am the malcontent
The sentient
Flesh that breeds
The need
To plant my seed
Biochemical
Desire

However,
Beneath the superficial
There is a deeper well
A wanting to wantonly
Wave myself away
From the rational
Mind that I saved
Let myself be swayed
Caught up in the wave

Subsumed under the moon
To touch and be touch
To look at and be seen
To hear and be heard
To love deeply
And see that sea
Of emotions mirrored

To find my poetic partner
And not merely be
Someone she needs
To make it to the next step
I want to be wanted
More than an outlaw poster
But with an illegal passion
Deviant and proper
At the same time

Two bodies of the same mind
Consumed
By the nuclear
Smoking mushroom
That leaves us choking
Till passion is spent
And love is stillness
A sleeping form
That I can keep warm
And safe
Graff1980 Nov 2015
My dance was discordant
Animalistic, trembling persistent
All flesh and bone made to be passionate
Holding in one hand
The hopeful destruction called love
And in the other fingers ****** facts
I gasp choked by the dissonance
Holding out hope while trying to be realistic
All I could do is dance to my own madness
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