it's hard to get over someone
that i see everyday

i am a hopeless disaster
of bones that run hollow
and blood that runs tar
but you,
baby you're a constellation
a firework exploding with
infinite galaxies
palms lined with gold

let me rain a little
on that parade of yours

i was a poet.
my words
counted
structured
organized
picked and chosen
so carefully
i stifled my heart
in the process
but i loved you --
-- silently
from the bottom of coffee cups
in the transactions of homework
[your spanish, my english]
and my phone history;
all those calls i missed
hitting the mute button
when you played piano
and you understood
you knew my words
didn't say much at all.

but i am a poet.
and fifteen months
after my words were too late
he fell for them, instead
the counting
their structure
my organization
i picked and i chose
like a calculator
starving my heart
in the process
but he loved me --
-- gullibly
from the bottom of his heart
in the middle of the night
never mind my phone history;
all those drunk calls i made
to you
feeding him pretty words
so he could love me
because he didn't understand
he didn't know my words
didn't say much at all.

im screaming at the clock to please stop ticking seething at the moments that won't stop sprinting through oh why are you running away i am crying for the nights that i was not crying i am longing for the nights when you longed for me too i'm searching for the time i've lost because who gave it the right to just ******* run away
i'm sitting here in pieces shattered by a memory
who gave it the right
to just become a memory?

I want to fall in love very soon.
A fast love that lasts for a season,
and then we accept the circumstances
under which we must oblige.

I need a band-aid.
Someone to patch up my wounds
for a bit until I heal.
And then a quick sting,
and it's over.

I always tell myself,
you don't need anyone to love you
besides yourself.
Oh, but then I say,
a boy makes it much more fun.