what if the pen was the scalpel, ripping our chest open with flowers sprouting out haphazardly
what if we had the sun running through our veins, and night time made us temporarily unconscious
our bodies react as the paper, you let a stranger take a pen to you trusting them not to shred the floral
when one of the magnolias, gardenias, or chrysanthemums are cut, the rest all fall like dominoes
and the sunlight scatters like mice into new hosts as you spiral downward into unconsciousness
the secret of how i flourished through drought was my optimism and faith in others who failed me
the science of how i got through these psychological traumatic experiences were questionable
the seconds i've spent thinking about it have been seconds wasted forgetting about my future
i don't trust the time, i'm always caught observing the clock making sure that it ticks
maybe i don't believe in it's mechanics, it's acute accuracy, or it's clockwise spin
it's the numbers i don't trust, i'm certain of it, we're all made of numbers
we're all seconds, hours, days, months, and years counting down

- kra

You stared back at me
Smiling
No care in the world
So naive of how ugly you'd become
Unaware of how your life would change
In a matter of just a few years

Your free time consumed of
Hospitals
Blades
Hatred
And sorrow
All combined into one pill
That you take every morning

I'm trying you promise
But I know you just want it all to end
You've become accustomed to being unhappy
Your picture of beauty is not what you see in the mirror
All because of things said to you
Drilled into your brain
Like little nails holding your thoughts together

You spend you nights hurting
Yet you can't cry anymore
You've cried enough tears for two lifetimes
But it never seemed like enough

You'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Because at least that means you're still alive

You're heart's still pumping
Lungs still breathing
Feet still taking steps
Closer and closer to the edge of reality
Losing you sanity
And faith in humanity
Your head spinning in circles
Making you feel so dizzy
That you pulled the trigger

Lowered ten feet under
Into the dirt you barely walked on
So young at heart
But your soul aged too fast

I still hear your voice
I still smell your perfume
I hear your laugh across the room
And so I run to it
Only to find
Nothing

Every year that goes by
I forget more and more about you
Trying to grasp your tiny chubby fingers
So that I don't lose myself
The way I lost you

But just like that
I'm in the same place as you
And you know that means
*I'll never be back

I found something
I wasn't looking for it though

They were hidden carelessly
Next to your lighters and your getaway high

Why did you keep them?
What purpose do they serve you?

I counted them carefully
Nine, one less than whe you took them from me

I took one, and closed the drawer
What's one more going to hurt?

I promise I'll stop
Starting tomorrow

drownig metanoia with coffee and cigarettes
Drag, sip
Slush, spit
Disgusted, addicted.
choke a yawn with a drink
wake up and ***** in the sink
from brushing stained teeth on
An empty stomach
but without the addiction my world would plummet
who was I before that first inhale,
before coffee became my morning lover, transforming me to life from slumber.
happy ******* morning, I quit!


© 2015 Kate Volk

Come darling, emit your sweet scent
Entice me around your flowing stem
Permit me to nestle upon your soft verges
To run hands through your vibrant colours
To dance, embraced as one, we blur
Spinning our deathly spin
Drowning in glorious, lustful sin

Come darling, reveal all you hide
Your vulnerable side
Shed that hard exterior shell
Fill my senses until overwhelmed

We waltz to the tune played
Many times before, oh how it has played!
Resting our heads on shoulders ledge
With a supple movement so slight

We swirl lightly, ever so slightly
Headed down to rest
Until the sun does rise again
And we repeat, nay, we play our lovers rhythm again