nevaeh

nevaeh Sep 2020

i was an ugly kid
no joke, i was borderline scary.
for starters:
i was almost a foot taller than all the other kids
and i was extremely underweight.
i had these bright purple
wire-frame grandma glasses
and i dressed like a boy.
i was (still am) terrified of butterflies
and i genuinely believed that i was a vampire.
i also heard voices and talked a lot about my
"imaginary friends"
because real people didn't like me
~
now i'm just
a fat, ugly *** swan
and i don't have any friends at all
not even imaginary ones

nevaeh Sep 2020

little reminder

im still here for you
and all of the ****** up things
you could ever do

a haiku

nevaeh Sep 2020

chill bro

i want to slam my face onto the tile until i black out
i just want to sleep
im so sick of this
im not doing it anymore
im making the decisions, right?
well my decision is:
~chill~
im not pretending
im not trying
just rolling with it
cali style

just go with the flow
i want(need) something real right now.
no more words
no more stupid fake ****
just
chill

okay?

dont freak

nevaeh Sep 2020

absent

is it possible
to be the only single person
on earth?

i feel like everybody's got somebody
maybe not a girlfriend or boyfriend
but at least a best friend
a favorite cousin
a loving parent

i don't have anything like that
i don't have any one person
that i'm close with
i have friends
but none of them really know me

it isn't their fault though - i don't talk to them really

#friends #single #lonely

nevaeh Sep 2020

little

she gave me a cross
a little wooden one
on a ball chain

naturally,
i sharpened it
and turned it into a weapon.

a jesus man came to school today and now emily has a cross-shank.

nevaeh Sep 2020

holier than thou

you aren't better than me
you're just as ****** up
and if i hear you make
one more ******* comment
about the way i live my life
you will be coughing up teeth
for a month.

i ******* hate people

nevaeh Sep 2020

*melodramatic sigh*

twisting and turning
hurting and burning
because the world is against you
always
because tall boys can hurt you
good friends can turn you
everything will leave you
with nothing at all

yes, your boyfriend will dump you
your teachers will flunk you
your mother will hate you forever
your coworkers are lazy
the doc thinks you're crazy
religion will call you a freak

i guess if everything is always awful
no matter what you do

go ahead and hate me: im having fun
and you could be having fun too

breaking news: everything ***** and nothing is real, live your life now, worry about the rest later.

#life