~
i have a plan
that nobody knows
only me and my brain
decide where i'll go
~
i wont leave a letter
i wont say goodbye
just me
my favorite sweater
a ring
a **** ton of scars
and one hell of a story to tell

thank you
for returning it
i dont know if you remember
but it was my grandfathers
~
i think this is it
the end of this part of my life
ive changed a lot
and i think you have too
~
thank you
for being there when you were
and for all of the memories
that still make me smile
~
if it's okay with you
i'd like to go back to being strangers
for my own sake (and i think yours)
besides, in a way, we kind of are

~
you did what the doctors
could never have done
you made me happy
without stealing my fun
~

i used to keep a shoe box under my bed
i called the box
"my will to live"
every day that i was happy
every day i was glad to be alive
i would write down why
and put it in the box

when i was suicidal
or just feeling like a *******
i would look in the box
and try to remember why i shouldn't
**** myself

the reason why i still care
the reason why im still trying
is just how many times
your name has ended up in that box
the reason why
is how many times you were the only reason
i didn't take my own life.

you aren't my only reason anymore
but you were for a very long time
so i literally owe you
my life

thats why