when the year bled into new,
and the cold seeped into our fingers,
and he did not wish me well,
or tell me of his going days,
that is when i knew that we were no more.

when sparks lit up the sky, singing glory,
and i received nothing from him,
no words of resolution or hopeful prayers he had wished, that is when i knew there was no us.

when i lay in my bed, sleeping through the days,
and i found no purpose in my life,
and all i did was weep, calling out for comfort,
that is when i knew it was done.

when he did not speak to me for a month straight,
when he decided it fit to leave me,
to abandon me when he said he'd never,
that is when i knew that there was
nothing there anymore.

when he spent his days conversing with
what he deemed better company,
and left those he loved to their own suffering,
that is when i knew that i did not want him anymore.

when i refused to even think of him,
when i hid my aching under bitterness, anger, hatred,
when i cried at night about what he had done,
that is when i knew i needed to move on.

after all, the year has bled into new,
and new years are all about new things,
why not rid myself of all things pointing back
to the misery he's caused me, including him?
happy new year, darling, you won't be apart of it.

s.e

the world has wronged me today.
it seems to do that a lot,
maybe i am truly hated by the fates.
the world has made me angry today.
i have faced faces that do not face me,
in hopes that i will sooth my seething anger,
and not lash out with everything i have
pointed towards them in hatred.
the world has made me angry today.
i had been given hope, by the ease
of the past days, that today would be good.
but now, my teeth are set on edge,
and i lean forward in my seat,
holding myself back from hurting.
i wish to lunge at anyone and everything
that tips me over the edge. i wish to
use my bare hands to break theirs,
the only strength behind my actions
being the pure malevolence that
oozes through my blood like the poison it is.
the world has made me angry today.
i have had my prey laid out before me,
avoiding my malice-filled eyes,
in fear they will see just what they
have done to me. i have the opportunity
for revenge sitting right in front of me,
and i am not allowed to take that chance.
it has been ripped cruelly from me,
like the feasts that scurried from Tantalus.
(am i Tantalus in this story?
have i recreated his horrendous wrongs?
who plays Pelopa in this version?)
my revenge has been dangled right in front of me,
like cheese on a string in the face of a hungry cat.
my own mouth is opened wide, ready to swallow it up.
the world has wronged me today.


s.e