God's spokesperson
Disarrayed hair, untouched nerves
A science teacher as well
David, Saul and Noah
Men I learned about
I trusted the words of the parish
Until the words " Gays are evil where spoke"

Plunging to the ground
Floating no device
Speaking without sound's

My journey went astray

You tore out my heart, and ate it like a sandwich
You cut and gut me like a fish
I needed you more than I needed growth
God's womb planted crab apple trees in me
I had begun to blossom
Unsettling my roots, as fathers branches grasps at me
You would suffocate me just to bring me back to life
His lust outweighed me
My corpse will still taste you
Gods bees will make his honey

He wrote plays and tears them up
Smoked to much and talked to fast
I would curl up on his chest as he spoke of old  English literature
I admired his mind and lusted for his knowledge
His skin was defined  every furrow told a tale
Deepset eyes with a whiskey tint

A pinwheel of desperation
Birds with leather wings sink into my skin
My suicide toolbox I wear as a party hat
Who decides what we want?
Who extinguishes the fire that burns inside you?
Afraid of touch, nothing to give
Words are weapons screaming at me
I'm living to die, dying to live
Can't catch a full breath
Just don't feel like me, pain obtained
I often wonder do words even come out?
Wrists bleeding, just a frail wallflower
I don't want to talk about it
It has been talked to death
I'm asleep inside my head
Staring at the stars I weep
Take my soul, take my secrets
I'll thrive on sorrow and heartbeats
I can't have anything sharp
Hide the pills she may overdo it again, once again
In the tub the water over my head, begging to drown
I'm found
Tried to end it all, makes me wonder what did I do wrong?
I did not even get a goodbye kiss
I'm in a mental health war
They say talk more
I disassemble my mind
Crying from hunger, sick of habits I can't break

My portrait so fine
Teeth made of veins and apple cores
Reeking of steel