Let’s stop surviving
And just decide that we’ll try
To live forever

Loving you was both ineffable and unendurable
I felt a hiraeth for your heart
As you had already set mine aquiver
Your voice sounded so mellifluous and sonorous
That it was almost nefarious
The epoch of while I looked at you
I knew this wasn’t limerence
And every day I prayed for serendipity
You were ethereal
So much so that it seemed almost illicit
You smelt of petrichor
Maybe it was just my glasses
That made you look iridescent
And made you look like you were luminescent
I didn’t need to rub my eyes to sense phosphines
When you were near me
Because although the time I got to spend with you was ephemeral
It sent me into oblivion
Because I was convinced this was yuanfen
It kind of made me feel like defenestrating you
You made me go through metanoia
The thought of you was eunoia
I guess what I’m trying to say is
I’m ******* in love with you

The colors all internalized in me
Are killing me inside
The red of fire in my veins
Keeping me alive
The blue of cold inside my heart
Chilling every bone
The black hidden deep in my chest
The color of my merciless soul
The yellow-brown of my bile
That burns and stings my flesh
But none of these painful colors
Have been able to **** me yet

I can't help but feel like a contradiction
Every vein in me yells yes and no
Every bone in me is good and bad
Everything i'm feeling is happy and sad
My brain tells me it's right and wrong
Sick of but miss singing the same song
I care not at all but way too much
I  guess i'll just have to fight while I run

The sweat from trying too hard
The blood from all the fights
The tears i'm too tired to contain
My thoughts throughout the night

No sleep
No rest
No nap
No doze
No time

I'm too busy feeling exhausted to be tired.

I hate the fact that you and I exist
But we don't
I hate feeling like a zebra
In this grey world
I hate feeling like Atlas
The weight of the world on my shoulders
My mild psychosis
Caused by my emotions
Driving everyone else crazy
Wishing I could end the world
With me in it
I hate seeing happiness
Something I feel I'm not worthy of
I hate feeling the wind
How it boasts of its freedom
I hate the mountains' pride
Higher than anything
I hate the sea
Describing its power
Its dignity
I hate how I'm arrogant
Due to lack of confidence
I hate how I'm wild
Due to lack of courage
I hate how I'm me
Due to how little i'm me.

I keep myself out of where I am.
I am not here.
I am not me.
I’m in Camp Half-Blood, a child of one of the gods
I’m in Hogwarts, an amazingly talented witch
I’m in the Arena, the smartest tribute of all
I’m in Beacon Hills, a gorgeously tough werewolf
I’m in the Impala, a hunter that even Sam and Dean look up to
I’m everywhere, anywhere but here
I’m everyone, anyone but me
Right?
Right?
Right?
RIGHT?