The Joy of Reading
Is like no other
its a peaceful fullfilment
that lights you from within.

It Transports you
to strange and wonderful places
Some you've heard about
some you never could have dreamed of
even in your wildest dreams

It can take your stress away
and leave you in a happy place

It settles around you
like an old familair Blanket
Comforting you and soothing you
in ways only reading can

So I just heard that the KKK
Waz handing out candy down in South Carolina.
They left bags of candy on peoples doorstep
with a letter inside
asking for them to join.

SERIOUSLY???

Who in their right mind
would want to join them?

All they are is a bunch
a pathetic looking bullies
With sheets over their heads.

If they tried to come after me
I wouldnt run away from them
I'd be on the floor
laughing my *** off
at how stupid and pathetic they are.

Nothing I do is good enough
It feels like I am a punching bag for them
Yell at me, pick on me, critic me
tear me down go ahead
When I fight back to defend myself I get
"You just have to get the last word don't you?"

Well here I am getting the last word
I"M SORRY!!!!!!

I'm sorry I'm not good enough
I'm sorry I don't do what you like
I'm sorry I'm me and not who you want me to be
I'm sorry I don't fit into you're world perfectly

This is who I am I'm not going to change
Are you going to love me less?
I'm terrified you will....
I'm terrified you'll throw me away
toss me aside and give up on me

Please don't I'm begging you.
I promise I'll be better
I promise I will be a good girl
Just don't give up on me
Please stop yelling at me

You may not care, or think I'm being dramatic
But it hurts me when you do,
Your words and you're yelling
your nit picking and criticising
They tear me down and shred my self conscious

I've got enough stuff to worry about
I don't need you pileling on top of it
I love you Mama But you keep tearing me down,
I don't know what else to do or say

so Here is my last word
**I'M SORRY!!!

Dante pulls out the lily
its orange petals
glistening in the pale moonlight

Lillian stares at it
its the most beautiful thing
she has ever laid eyes upon

Edging closer to her
nervous she will bolt
He takes her hand

"Lillian I am just a lonely assasin
a monster in the eyes of your society"

He looks at her
fear in his eyes

"but you have dared to love me
you have turned your back agaisnt their ways"

He hold her close
and whispers

"So I must ask you this just once"


*Do you dare love me again?

She goes over to him and curls up around his feet

he spreads his wings and folds them gentle around her small body
rest now *** I've got you

looks up at him and blinks her big blue eyes
teehee
an evil grin spreads across her face

he looks down at her with his eyebrow raised
Whaaaaat are you doing?

she suddenly pounces on him and starts batting at his wings squeaking as she does

A shrill screeches rings through the air as he lifts off the ground and shoot up into the night sky

She clings to his back with her claws ears flat agaisnt her head
looking around she realizes something
*** I'M FLLLLLYYYYING
Weeeeeeee


Falls off the Bed Laughing
Dear Goddess, panda  you are just a freaking goofball.

smiles wide at him*
I know

^-^

Play me the good stuff
Van Halen
girl you really got me now

my bad mood instantly lifting
A smile replacing my frown

Not caring that I look like a fool
As I dance in my chair at work

Hotdogs grilling
Filling the air
assualting my nose

sizzle
sizzle

Cherry blossom trees
Releasing their thickly sweet perfume
carried on the breeze

wet aphault
after a summer shower
tickling the back of my throat

Freshly mowed grass
Their light scented aroma
Clinging to my clothes

Chlorine filled pools
Making my cough
splashing all about

:-D

I'm
so
Glad
That
Summer
Is
Here

A smell of wine and cheap perfume

Spilling from his earphones

It goes on and on and on

As he grins up at me

Strangers Waiting

Grab my wrists pushing me to the ground

Up and down the boulevard

Climbs on top tugging down my jeans

Their shadows searching In the night

I kick and I scream Pleading him to stop

Streetlights, people Livin' just to find emotion

No one's around to hear my call

Hidin' somewhere in the night

I close my eyes ready to just give in

Don't stop believin'

With the lies that fall
so smoothly off your lips
my trust in you crumbles
my heart breaks and bleeds.

The lying
it comes so easily.
It's as if you don't care
about the hurt they cause.

I hate this,
I hate second guessing
every action and word
wondering if its just another lie.

Do you care?
that why hurt me deeply?
that they are tearing me apart?
DO you?

I am the self proclaimed
Lifes court jester
Making people laugh
is what I do best

When I see someone sad
I instantly put on my funny hat
because laughter
is a good medince
even if it only lasts for a few moments
those moments could be life saving

But sometimes
The court jester
isnt always there
Sometimes its just me
Me in all my imperfection

I hide behind the court jester
To cover up my pain
my ******* upness
and my saddness

But Being the jester
Well it helps me
When I know I can make someone smile
even on their worst days on earth
It feels good knowing
I am helping someone
even if for a few presious moments

Maybe I'm not as worthless
as I thought I was

A lonely assasin
unforgiving and without mercy
He stalks the night
Wanting revenge

Cold blooded killer
A monster
a beast

A banished Princess
She struggles to survive
Broken hearted she turns it to stone
Coping with her horrid past

A coldhearted killer
a monster
a beast

Wonder around
wind up together
Sparks fly
as weapons clash

Stone wall crumble
Love starts to bloom
beasts and monsters
being tame

Epic love story
A lonely assasin
and a Banished Princess
finding love
finding themselves

In a busy town
In massachusetts
there is this college
BCC

At this cozy college
there are 8 buildings
But one has capture my heart completly
G BUILDING

Walk through the sliding glass doors
Around the corner
through the lunch room
To the Dinning hall

Noise assult my ears
Beeping video games
shouts of triumph
Kpop and metal music

Tables littered with playing cards
Yugioh
Pokemon
Magic

People as different as can be
From all corners of the social spectrum
Popular
and geeks

Join together in a crazy dance
A swirling brightly colored tango
Joined together
by mutal intrest

Riker, dear Riker
puple fadora ever present
My "Co-****"
a founding father of the trolling company

Damien, Oh damien
Your strangness growing stranger
Your hair of deception
Another founding father

Jose, Dear Lord Jose
You're pervertenss proceeds you
Cat calling
Video gaming

Holly, sweet Holly
Looking innocent and sweet
Masking your wildness
underneath

Nathan, My Naten
My best friend through the ages
Opinions flying
Jungle juice by your side

Casey, My sweet sweet Casey
Ghost story devourer
Trusting you with my secrets
Everyone's little sister

John, John of the lake
Annoying as hell
but loveble all the same
only kind things to say

Josh, Or should I say Shoji
Big Brother
Laptop out
Video game in

Matt, My lovely Matt
This is where we met
Fate intervined
brought us together

This is where I belong
This island of misfits
This G building gang
This is my home.

Its the shadow
That haunts her mind.
The one who
turns her friends
Into enemies
Her fear.
**Her Nightmare.

The Leopard
The Fox
and the Kitty
a very unlikely bunch
different in every aspect

The leopard
Speaking his mind
Opinions spewing
the oldest
but maybe not the wisest

The fox
The fighter
The poet
she is the youngest
but definatlly the wisest

The kitty
Court jester
most subborn
tap dancing her way through life

But somehow
these three make it work
Protecting eachother
always have the others backs
The perfect disfuncional
Three musketeers

Remember our promise

If you jump
I jump

But what happens

If I jump

Do you jump too?


Or do you get on
The nearest life boat
And leave me here to drown
All alone in this vast ocean

The girl you see everyday
is the girl I want you to see

The true me

Is a scared little girl
whose heart and soul
has been damaged
beyond repair

Slash*
goes the jokers blade
His wild laughter ringing
His wicked grin gleaming

Red pools dripping
as Harley dancing in the puddles
Giggling with mad carelessness
Carefree reckless abandon

The joker such a gentlemen
dressed in his purple threads
takes Harely in his white gloved hands
And dance the villians Dance

Terror ringing through the streets
their evil echoing seeping through your dreams
Lock up your houses and bare the hatches
No one can stop them in their waltz of disorder

I'm sick I think I'm sick
Sometimes I think I get like this
I bite my tongue, I clench my fists
Resist at first and then reverse
The night knows me by name
Its shadow trained to dull the pain
All the black begins to blur
Resist at first and then immerse
~
        It tires me, it makes me sad
To think of all the nights I've had
Eyes shut tightly, I shut down
Won't be that much longer now
In the quiet, in the dark
All my ideals fall apart
When they come for me again
Resist with everything I am
~
It tires me, it makes me sad
To think of all the nights I've had
Eyes shut tightly, I shut down
Won't be that much longer now
~
I'm sick, I think I'm sick
Sometimes I think I get like this
I bite my tongue, I clench my fists
Resist at first and then reverse
Life's a war, you pick your fight
I think mine picks me first most nights
If I should wake before I die
Then promise me you'll never get this sick inside
~
Can't undo a word I said
Years of struggle still ahead
All the trouble in my head
I wish I were good instead
  ~  
I'm sick, I think I'm sick
Sometimes I think I get like this
I bite my tongue, I clench my fists
Resist at first and then reverse
My adversary knows me well
She's out for blood, too soon to tell
If I'll outsmart these lies of hell
And think my sick self back to health

Broken and defeated
helpless and destroyed
the fear claws at my stomach
the despair clouds my mind
tears spill onto my cheeks.

Everything I hopped for
disappears in a blink of an eye
once again ******* everything up.

Why can't
I do
anything right?

I try so hard
just to be set up
for failure.

Goddess please
I pray to you
please guide me
through this!
help me succeed.

Act upon
the Devilish thoughts
in your mind

this is how and Angel dies

Slit your wrists
and bathe
in the crimson river

this is how an Angel dies

Turn your back
against your faith
an everything you know

*this is how an Angel dies

The sky brightens as lightning streaks across in forks.
The sky explodes as the sound of thunder erupts.
the Rain beats against the side of the house.
As I watch from the basement window.

I scream in fear as the sky lights up,
Looking like the whole sky will burst,
From a power surge.
I close my eyes so I don't see anymore.

I listen to the soothing sound of the rain.
I open my window a smidge.
And let the rain wash over my face.
It feels so good.

I shudder as the thunder booms,
Feeling it pass through my body.
My ears hurt from the constant explosions.
I wish they never go away.

Even though they scare me to death.
I love them even more.
For they are so soothing to fall asleep to.
And the morning after are always peaceful.

You feel like your invisible
Like no one seems to care.
You walk the halls
getting bumped and squashed.
You feel like you're going to lose this thing called life.
So take my advice.

And take time away.
To a different place.
Save it all for another day.
Just Lay down and feel the warm sunshine.
Listen to the music around.
And take time away.
Take time away.

You raise your hand
but the teacher doesn't see.
You go to to your next class
and you see the girls giggling.
They're talking about party's
and the latest boyfriends.
You feel like just letting go.

So take time away.
To a different place.
Save it all for another day.
Spend time with the one you love.
They'll help you understand.
Why life is such a wonderful thing.
so take time away. Take time away.

You feel like you're visible.
And you know someone cares.
You walk the halls
getting recognized.
You feel like you're getting
This thing called life.
And you're so glad.

That you took time away.
To a different place.
And saved it all for another place.
Just laying down with the one you love.
Feeling the warm sunshine.
Ant you glad that you took time away.
Took time away.

You know those oh so annoying calls?
telemarketers
They **** you off so much right?

Wells heres tips on how to deal with them
THE RIGHT WAY

1. Don't be rude to them
its not their fault your number popped up on their call list

2. Don't be mad when their information is wrong
again ITS NOT THIER FAULT that the lists they were given were never updated

3. DO NOT MOCK THEM!!!
They are Smart people annd know when you are, They have feelings to you know!

4. DO NOT UNDER ANY CUIRCUMSTANCES CALL THEM NAMES OF ENDERMENT
baby, sweetheart, hunny, sweety. Its creepy, uncomfortable, and makes you look like a disrespectful creep

5. DO NOT CALL THEM DEGRADING NAMES
*****, The C word, *****, ect ect, all it does is make you look like a complete and utter disrespectful Douchbag

6. the most improtant one of all!!!
If you are fed up completely then just NICELY ask them to put you on thier do not call list
It takes 30 days for that request to go through after that you wont be bugged by them again

THERE YOU GO PEOPLE.
NOW COME ON
LETS ALL PLAY NICE
SHALL WE???

Did you ever just have a day
Where you nick yourself shaving
Just a little too closely.
Hoping its just a little too deep
And everything can end?

Did you ever have a moment
Where you fell down the stairs
And for just a second
Wish you could fall down
And land in just the wrong way
So your suffering can end?

Ever go through a whole day
Going over all the possible ways
You could die accidentally?
Because you cant bring yourself
To end your own life

I have

I do it everyday.

I've tried to fix the cracks
That snaked throughout our relationship
But the fights
and the digs
made them grow
Now they are as big
as the great caynon.

I give up
I'm done trying
I'm done with the fights
and the tears that do nothing.
I'm tired of the stress and the anxiety.

The only reason I stick around
Is because I made a promise
to someone that means the world to me.
I promised my sister I would never abandon her.
So I will stay here, Its so worth it.

But I'm done trying to fix us
I'm done trying to get close to you.
Mother I will always love you .
But Our relationship is just
To broken to ever be repaired.

Gentle touch.
Passionate kisses.
Driving me crazy.
Filling me with desire.

Bodies pressed close together
Hearts beating as one.
Breaths becoming shallow.
Same thoughts on our minds.

Arms clinging
to one another
to afraid to let go
Not wanting this moment to end

fantasies dance
across closed eyelids
vivid and true
Hopeful and happy

Your arms,
Your smile,
your voice,
everything just puts me in a place
i cant even explain.
When I see your smile
my knees get weak.
I close my eyes
and can not speak.

Never, ever, let anyone tell you what you can and can't do.
Prove the cynics wrong.
Pity them for they have no imagination.
The sky's the limit.
Your sky.
Your limit.
Now.
Let's dance.”

Little Carole Jean
You were born to early
Only 20 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy
Born without a heartbeat

I held you in my arms
So tiny so fragile
8.6oz and only 21 inches long
But so beautiful and pure

You had your daddy's long legs
And my annoying chin
Nine Perfect Baby fingers
And Your tiny feet so cute

I'm so sorry babygirl
That mommy couldn't protect you
I failed you little one
Please can you forgive me.

I see how Daddy cries for you
His eyes show how much he misses you
You were his world, his little princess

I miss you so much
I miss you growing inside me
Watching your daddy wrap his arms around my tummy
And say he is on protection duty

I wish I could have watched you grow up
I can picture you in my mind
Dark unruly red hair
And bright blue eyes like daddy

Your dad would have had to chase all the boys away

I wish I could wake up from this nightmare
And erase this whole last week
Look down and see my bellies small bump
Can I go back to when things were good?

Rest Easy Carole Jean
Be safe up there ok?
You have a whole lot of people to meet you there
And a whole lot of people still yet to come

I will see you again one day
Until then please be good.
I cant wait to hold you again
And I know Daddy can't either.

We will be a family again one day
Until then you are always in my heart.
I will NEVER forget you
I dont think I ever could

I love you daughter
And forever always will
You are with me for eternity

My little baby Carole Jean

You are only a month old
so you wont understand right now
But I hope you do as you get older.

Auntie Coconut Loves you
With everything she has,
you are my first niece after all ;-P

I vow to always buy you baby socks
at least while you're still a baby
because lets be honest, they are the cutest thing EVER

I Promise to always be the "bad influence"
that everyone talks about
and help you be care free and wild.

I vow to be the goofy nut ball aunt,
that you can trust with all your secrets.
I'll protect them with my life.

I'll be there if you fight with your mom and dad,
and need someone to vent to,
I promise I wont break that trust.

I know I cant be there physically
But I am always here emotionally
I'm also just a call away.

I love you little
Lilith Skye

*Love your Auntie Coconut

In your darkest hour
I'll be your blinding light.

When you feel like your life is
Turning capsized
I'll be your life raft.

Bottom line.

I'll always be there
when you really need me.

You
Are
Important
Someone
Cares
About
You

Just thought I'd let you know

Toxic green nails
glide over your skin
Leaving their Mark
upon your soft flesh
Creating goose bumps
in their wake

Beat down the walls that bind me
Beat down the people who control me
Lash out unrestrained
Pure anger pouring out
The vibrations staggering

A frenzy look
glint in my eyes
Bloodlust pooling

fists clenching
preparing
getting ready to strike

I am normally
so sweet
so peaceful

But **** me off
And Things get deadly

My anger
WILL
be
unleashed

What do you do
When everyone around you is hurting
And you are powerless to help them?


You have nothing to offer
But meaningless stupidity
And childish intellect

You cant give them advise
You cant hold them and tell them its ok
Because you dont know what to do or say


You just sit there and stare
Wishing you could just take away all their pain
Wishing you could put a smile on their face if only for a moment

But you cant
Because you are
*Useless.

I ran up to you
and flung myself in your arms
Our mouths connecting in a kiss
In front of all our friends.

you pulled me back
a surprised look on your face
Really? You asked
hope written in every word

Yes I say
Pulling you in for
another addictive kiss.

I was yours forever
and you were mine

All throught the day
The day of love
we couldnt contain ours

you turned to me
Are we dating now?
I looked at you and smiled
Yeah I think we are
Smiling back at me
Cool

Valentines day
Isnt just a holiday to me.
Its the Day my Life started.

Cherry blossoms rain down
on me as I climb the tree
with my book in hand
I settle down for a peaceful read.

A gust of wind sends blossoms
into a beautiful tornado
twisting and twirling
in a spring time ballet

The sun hits them
making them look
like delicate pink jewels
dancing in the golden rays.

the feelings inside
crash within me
like waves against the cliff side.

Their cold embrace
threaten to drown me
in their icy waters.

Waves of pain
keep spilling into me
flooding me with its all consuming despair

Hold my breath
I kick my way to the surface,
trying to find the sun's light.

My head breaks through,
take a huge gulp of air.
I made it, I survived

But the churning water drags me down again
The light slowly fading
All sence of direction gone.

The water invades me,
filling my nose and mouth
flooding my lungs.

I'm drowining in my emotions
Just when I think I am on dry ground
they drag me back with binding chains.

Even in this day and age
where tolerance and accaptance
is more abundant then it once was
I still find it so sad
when I see judgment

SO WHAT
If HE likes men?
SO WHAT
If SHE like women?

WHO THE ******* CARES?

Its not your choices or decisions
its theirs
Its not your life
ITS THEIRS

And if thats what makes them happy
if thats what makes them them
And makes them Who they are

Then who the hell are we
To judge?

Episode one
of the.. (Que name) Show
Journey into the dark magical abyss

Walking down the darkened streets
SiHell is up ahead
Stupid government *******

Water tower
Looming in front of us
Mike Myers theme rings

Guest stars
not Cooperating
"I dont aprove of this ****"

Episode two

Walking and walking
Milos
is our goal

Lay down
middle of the road
CAR! Run

Knee & anckle
giving out
tumble roll

I THINK I CRUSHED MY PHONE
Takes out of pocket turn it on
It works We're good.

Zoned out
not paying attention
needs saving

Grab the back of your shirt
Yanks you to the side
scarying you three feet in the air

Dead ahead
maybe a foot away
Pepi LaPHEW

Episode three

What ever will it be?

I GOT A SALE


                                I GOT A SALE


I GOT A SALE
  

                                                        ­      I GOT A SALE



What am I doing wrong?
all around me
my team is getting sales
Left and right
Back to back

And here I am
Zeroing out

Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
and I know friday too

Its hard to keep my chin up
When I'm about to lose

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

I've only known you for
hmmmmm
a month or so
But within that month
we've grown so close

You tell me you care
that you hold me dear.
Well the same goes for you.

I help you out whenever I can
You let me vent without judgement
your words are sweet
our talks sometimes brightens my day.

BUt sometimes......
Oh I dont know.......

But then you went
and talked down to me
you belittled me
and mocked me

What do you take me for?
Just a person at your disposal?
Some child who needs scolding?

That hurt
I didnt think you would do that
From him Yeah I expect it
But YOU!
You left me sitting here at my desk
staring at your words
crying silently.

Now I'm questioning everything.
If you could so easily treat me that way.
was this whole freindship a ruse
for your own personal gain?

I'm sitting here a day later still pondering this mystery.
and came up with one simple question to ask you.

*What am I to you?

I miss your eyes
and your laugh
and your voice

I miss your humor
and your wildness
and your tenderness

I miss that focused look you get
when you concentrate
on your video games

I miss going to A building
at bcc and curling up on the couch
watching movies together

I miss our spot in the woods
And how we would spend countless hours there
Just enjoying eachothers company

But what I miss most

Being held close
being in your arms
listening to your heart beat

What I want
is to have a family
that isnt scattered across the east coast.

What I want
is to not have this feeling
Of Being out of place.

What I want
Is...

Oh hell I dont know what I want anymore
My thoughts are to tangled to decipher my feelings

I'll never change
I'll always be this way
I'm to childish
I'm to young to understand

I've grown up more then you will comprehend
I understand more then you realize
I've grown up right in front of your eyes.
You're just blind
to what you're little girl has grown up to be.

I will admit in some ways you are right
I don't have that much responsibility right now
and no real bills to speak of.
But that will all change soon

Got a job 40 hours a week
And don't forget the overtime.
200 dollars a month straight to the electric bill
115 to my old collage loans.
Studying in the dead of night
to go get that learners permit.
saving up the cash for a licence and car.

No more relying on the dear sweet fiance
I'll save up my OWN money to get my little place
These steps may be small and baby
But they're steps in the right direction.

*You say that I'll never change
But what the **** do you know?

I hate what We've become!
The type of couple who never speaks
Growing so distant
That place in my heart where you reside
is growing so cold

I hate what We've Become!
The type of couple living completly different lives
Do you even know me anymore?
Do I know you?

I hate what We've become!
The type of couple where love hurts
I love you Whole Heart soul and being
But its starting to hurt my heart

Next valantines day will mark three years
But for two of them we've been living in two different states
eight hours away
and so many miles between us

I'm so afraid
I dont want to lose you
But its hurting my heart to stay

****
how did we let this happen
How did we end up this way?
What have We become?

When I'm with you
I feel like I can fly
When I'm with you
It feels like the whole worlds frozen in time
No one else is there
We're the only ones here
And that only happens
when I'm with you.

You've got my heart
Kicked into over drive
It's beating so loud
You can hear it from across the room
It hasn't been quiet
Since the day I met you
When you look my way
It stars skipping beats
And I hope you Know
That it's beating for you because

When I'm with you
I feel like I can fly
When I'm with you
It feels like the whole worlds frozen in time
No one else is there
We're the only ones here
And that only happens
when I'm with you.

Baby come lay down with me
Pull the blankets over our heads
and we'll be in our own little world
Snuggling all night long
In your arms I know
I'm home because

When I'm with you
I feel like I can fly
When I'm with you
It feels like the whole worlds frozen in time
No one else is there
We're the only ones here
And that only happens
when I'm with you.

Boy you're everything to me
You're the one
my soul's been searching for
When I close my eyes
all I see is you
You're the only
One for me

When I'm with you
I feel like I can fly
When I'm with you
It feels like the whole worlds frozen in time
No one else is there
We're the only ones here
And that only happens
when I'm with you.

When I'm with you
I feel like I can fly
When I'm with you
It feels like the whole worlds frozen in time
No one else is there
We're the only ones here
And that only happens
when I'm with you. R

And that only happens
Boy this only happens
When I'm with you.

How do I know when it's love
I can't tell you but it lasts forever
How does it feel when it's love
It's just something you feel together
When it's love