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Fenix Flight Aug 2017
You are only a month old
so you wont understand right now
But I hope you do as you get older.

Auntie Coconut Loves you
With everything she has,
you are my first niece after all ;-P

I vow to always buy you baby socks
at least while you're still a baby
because lets be honest, they are the cutest thing EVER

I Promise to always be the "bad influence"
that everyone talks about
and help you be care free and wild.

I vow to be the goofy nut ball aunt,
that you can trust with all your secrets.
I'll protect them with my life.

I'll be there if you fight with your mom and dad,
and need someone to vent to,
I promise I wont break that trust.

I know I cant be there physically
But I am always here emotionally
I'm also just a call away.

I love you little
Lilith Skye

*Love your Auntie Coconut
My First niece was born July 15th, the day after her mother ( my sister) birthday.  She will be a month old next week!!!!
Fenix Flight Aug 2017
With the lies that fall
so smoothly off your lips
my trust in you crumbles
my heart breaks and bleeds.

The lying
it comes so easily.
It's as if you don't care
about the hurt they cause.

I hate this,
I hate second guessing
every action and word
wondering if its just another lie.

Do you care?
that why hurt me deeply?
that they are tearing me apart?
DO you?
Fenix Flight Jun 2017
Today could have been the day,
That you blow out your candles,
Make a wish as you close your eyes.

Today could have been the day,
Everybody was laughing,
Instead I just sit here and cry,

Who would you be?
What would you look like,
When you looked at me for the very first time?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.

Would you have been president
Or a painter, an author, or sing like your mother?
One thing is evident,
Would've given all I had,
Would've loved you like no other.

Who would you be,
What would you look like,
Would you have my smile and her eyes?
Today could have been the next day of the rest of your life.

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a ray of light we never knew,
Gone too soon, yeah.

Not a day goes by,
Oh
I'm always asking why.

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you,
I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,
Such a beautiful light we never knew,
Gone too soon,
You were gone too soon
Yeah.

Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you.
All Rights to this song go to Daughtry and the writers.

I DEDICATE THIS SONG TO MY ANGEL DAUGHTER CAROLE JEAN
Fenix Flight Jun 2017
Its times like this
when its quiet and still
that I realize just how much I miss you

Oh My Daughter
I miss you so much
It kills me inside
the pain I feel

It hits me like a tidal wave
and tears stream down my face
I just want to scream to the sky
"BRING HER BACK TO ME"

My chest tightens
and my body starts to shake
I cant catch my breath
and the depression sinks in

I just want to crawl into a hole
and cry until my heart gives in
I just want to go back in time
And save you from this fate.

You were my strength
what kept me going day to day
With out you here I feel so lost
I feel like just giving up.

Baby girl I need you here
I need you back in my life
This isn't fair to me or you
You never got a chance

I wont ever hear you say Mommy
Or hear you say I love you
I will never feel a hug from you
or a kiss on my cheek.

There isn't a second that goes by
That I don't think of you.
You are forever in my heart
and forever a part of my soul.

Stay safe up there Carole
Watch over daddy and I
I'll see you again someday baby girl
I love you.
I miss my daughter so much. The pain is so much.
Fenix Flight Jun 2017
Little Carole Jean
You were born to early
Only 20 weeks and 4 days into my pregnancy
Born without a heartbeat

I held you in my arms
So tiny so fragile
8.6oz and only 21 inches long
But so beautiful and pure

You had your daddy's long legs
And my annoying chin
Nine Perfect Baby fingers
And Your tiny feet so cute

I'm so sorry babygirl
That mommy couldn't protect you
I failed you little one
Please can you forgive me.

I see how Daddy cries for you
His eyes show how much he misses you
You were his world, his little princess

I miss you so much
I miss you growing inside me
Watching your daddy wrap his arms around my tummy
And say he is on protection duty

I wish I could have watched you grow up
I can picture you in my mind
Dark unruly red hair
And bright blue eyes like daddy

Your dad would have had to chase all the boys away

I wish I could wake up from this nightmare
And erase this whole last week
Look down and see my bellies small bump
Can I go back to when things were good?

Rest Easy Carole Jean
Be safe up there ok?
You have a whole lot of people to meet you there
And a whole lot of people still yet to come

I will see you again one day
Until then please be good.
I cant wait to hold you again
And I know Daddy can't either.

We will be a family again one day
Until then you are always in my heart.
I will NEVER forget you
I dont think I ever could

I love you daughter
And forever always will
You are with me for eternity

My little baby Carole Jean
My daughter Carole Jean was born 5/26/17. Weighting 8.6oz and only 21cm long. Born still but never the less Still born. I love you babygirl and Mommy always will
Fenix Flight Feb 2017
Tiny human growing inside
Mama loves you already
Five weeks and Six days
Thats how long you've been Here

I cant wait to hear your heartbeat
Daddy cant wait either
Are you a boy?
A girl?

I cant wait to watch you grow
To hold you in my arms
And welcome you to this world
To watch you become someone wonderful

But do I have the right?
Do I have the right to be over the moon?
I feel guilty being so happy
When this isnt my time to shine

I feel guilty and hesitant to share
I feel like If I do
I will lose someone who means
Everything to me.

I feel like I am messing up her moment.
Like I dont have the right to open up
I feel torn and lost and utterly alone
I dont believe I can reach out to her

Im so sorry this happened
I never meant to **** things up
I promise I'll stay in the shadows
This is your shine. Not mine


Just know sis
I love you dearly
And That I am so sorry
For always ruining things for you.
Im sorry Foxy. Im so so sorry :'(.
Fenix Flight Aug 2016
What do you do
When everyone around you is hurting
And you are powerless to help them?


You have nothing to offer
But meaningless stupidity
And childish intellect

You cant give them advise
You cant hold them and tell them its ok
Because you dont know what to do or say


You just sit there and stare
Wishing you could just take away all their pain
Wishing you could put a smile on their face if only for a moment

But you cant
Because you are
*Useless.
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