sometimes i wonder
if the world i live in
is one i made up in my head
that exists only for me

and if that’s true
i don’t mind
because the world i’ve created
is filled with madness
but the best madness i’ve created for myself
is you

I want to be a father, that is strange coming from a 19 year old college student.
No not just to get laid or get the girl.
I want to teach my son the world.

I want to teach him that Laughter is the best medicine
I want him to prescribe a large dosage to all of the people who are down in the dumps,

I want him to call all of the girls pretty
Because it doesn't matter how much war paint they paint on their face.
No matter how many guys told her she is ugly,
She is still that princess that is sitting on that ivory tower and
She needs that prince charming to sweep her off her feet.
And when he finds the love of his life I want him to say,
”come on down you are the only contestant in my price is right.”

I want to teach him that Chivalry isn't dead
I want to teach him that politeness isn’t dead like Elvis
dead like retro disco and that one guy from Clue
I want him to know that nice guys don’t finish last
I want him to open all of the doors and always say please and thank you because politeness is the bandage over our gaping emotional wounds left by the people who lost their insecurities in their own dusty attics.

I want to teach him that imagination is the best tool
No no wait it is the ONLY tool
I want him to know that Calvin and  Hobbes does exist
I want him to know that when he is not around,
His toys become alive and have a thriving hidden city underneath his bed.
I want him to fight the monsters in his closet while reciting Beowulf .
I want him to know that its okay to be scared
I want him to explore the dark caves in the basement and to defeat that evil dragon that rest there.
Many of you call it a furnace, but is a dragon alright?
I want to read him bedtime stories so we can fly off to our imagination fighting epic thunder storms trying to find that perfect catch.

I want to teach him the good stuff,not math or science
but ethics, politics, history, and literature
I want him to know that its okay to be fearful of the unknown
and that Ignorance is the poison to our minds

I want to make recite Hamlet or Twelfth Night, so when people are all talking trash he can say “don't make me go Shakespeare on your ***.” and for those people who stand in his way.
I must warn them that his bruises will fade and his cuts will  heal but he tells you next will never leave your heart and will haunt you for the rest of his life. So go ahead call him names, see what happens.

I want to teach him to be passionate
I want to teach him that if anyone comes up to him and tells him that he can't do what he wants. I want him to bite his thumb and say listen buddy just wait before you know it I'll be the one who will be writing  my name on the wall of glory.

Now I know I am far from perfect, and I know he will be too, but I want to teach him that this world can be perfect, if you open up your mind and heart.

Dear America,

I will like to thank you for a couple of things
that i have noticed for a couple of years

Thanks for destroying humanity
I really want my kids to know that panda bears are from Chinese restaurants
and that Taco Bell originated from Mexico
all Asians know how to handle a Rubik's cube
like the curves on a women.

Thanks for posting these skeletons in magazines that we call models and telling everybody that this what beauty is, so girls can put your fingers down their throats
and guys can juice themselves up
because lets be honest personality doesn't matter, right?

thanks for killing creativity with your genocide
and lynching our education system
because our minds are the like the assembly lines for your standardized testing
if you don’t fill out the right bubbles that means that you are not smart like the rest of us
you see we are robots
if you don't fill out that bubble that you were not programed like rest of us
fill in out that bubble because
that bubble is going to determine if you go to a good college or not.
and remember community college means you are a failure.

Thanks for destroying our free time
Instead of stopping and smelling the roses we stop and take a photos for instagram
instead of going out and meeting new people,
we flash around our privates on the internet like it’s public property
because **** the love I want to get naked right?
because she only needs to loved for that one night?

We don’t have free time because we have to work on
Our Grades
Our Sports
Doing community service
So we can have these perfect resumes
and go to that perfect school
so you can go to that perfect job
and get married to that perfect love of our lives
and have three perfect kids
Retire and wait until your body decays into the earth
at that perfect timing

but wait life isn't perfect right?

Sincerely,
Voiceless Stranger

The vivacious little girl
occupying the table next, with her parents
counts me too, someone close to her
I don't know, what prompts this,
or why she wants to cheer me up.

Smiles at me like I am an uncle
lost for long and now found by chance,
offers a bite from her candy
with a conspiratorial wink.

Its a pity I lost touch
with that part of my psyche
that used to act like a kid
and rejoice, without a thought'
when something like this happens.

Yes, things change
you may not even sense it,
I suddenly realize.

I just look away and see
a bleak cloud fully lost all morning flush
at the corner of the sky limping forward,
dissolving little by little.

My mother should be an author
She carves her soul into millions of pieces
Leaving it behind all of the family photos
When I see my mother
I see a woman
Who wants to hide her soul in a needle
Just so the screaming can stop in her mind,
These bottles are rattling in the living room
You see they have put shackles on her heart,
She can't love anymore
Without having ***** in her water bottle.

Where is she hiding her beer?
I feel like my mother is giving me a scavenger hunt
From the shards of glass that were left on the baseball fields
My mother used to take me to.

You know she always wasn't like this
She was strong minded and had a big heart
Tonight I will tell you the story of a woman
Who lost her soul to the Keystones to the Miller Lites
To the ****** Mary’s.
Let's rewind time
See ******* the soul in ten years

10- I look into my mother's eyes and I start to cry
Because I'm looking at a woman who I don't know anymore

9- I refused to bail her out of jail again
Because I'm afraid her kidney will fail if she drinks again

8- My mother staggered into the theater and disrupted the whole play,
My cast mates turned to me and asked, isn't that your mother?

7- I had to hold my mothers hand
Because she was throwing up the cocktail of drugs and alcohol

6- Daddy had to get mom out of jail she was drinking again

5- My mother throws the bottle across the room
And told me the reason why she drinks is because I'm Autistic

4- My mother overslept for my piano recital,
I didn't think it was a big deal
But I remember she spent the whole night crying
With a wine glass in her hand.

3- Mommy I didn't know your prescription came in a needle

2- Mommy the prescription say 2 pills a day
why are you taking 6?

1- My mother went to the doctor
Found out that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis
I don't know what that means,
But I know she will still be strong right?

0- She took me to a Dodger game for my birthday.
I remember Sammy Sosa hitting a home run that game
She told me that the only person that can **** your soul is yourself

I can fake my identity and try to look happy,
but its all just a cover.
Take a swig from the flask and remove the last mask
only to find another.

There was once a time when I knew myself,
but now I'm not so sure.
All semblance of self-worth lay eroding in the dirt,
and its all thanks to her.

It's not really her fault, I'm truly to blame.
I grew selfish out of fear.
Afraid of being alone, I couldn't let her go
and now she's nowhere near.