lately, there's been a boy
who's been in my mind for days
been around me for seven years
and more
some days, i think i love him
other days, i think he loves me
sometimes, i think i don't
other times, i think i'm just talking to myself
telling myself
all of that could be true
he's in love with someone else,
that much is true
and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't sad because of it
even though i have no right to
it makes me wonder if i really do love him
or if i just love being around him
calling him mine
even if it's not the way he calls her "mine"
these days, he loves me,
looks at me
as if i really am the one
makes me listen to his favorite songs
listen to his soul
talks to me like he wants to tell me
everything
everything about him
is it true? tell me, is it?
or does it actually matter?
do i love him? or do i not?
do i want to love him? and if so, why so?
loving him, and loving what could be him are two different things
and yet, are so alike
love is odd, love is strange
he is odd, he is strange
i am, too, i am, too
he confuses me, in more ways than one
i wonder if i confuse him, too.
e.f.