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Elioinai Jan 2019
My heart sadly asked for privacy
but the words in my mind tumbled out
Elioinai Jan 2019
I’m beginning again
Preparing to walk down a thousand new paths
So I pause
to look fondly on the old roads
I stoop down to see what flowers I should carry with me to my next destination
I don’t know where that will be
so I listen closely to the birds
their mocking tones repeat back to me the sounds of childhood bliss
I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of all my dreams
they envelope me like memories of fog
The excitement of early morning meets me
my journey pulls gently at the tips of hesitant boots
I slowly rise to greet it
A New Day
To 2019, a year of moving forward in ways I still have yet to discover
Elioinai Jan 2019
I was born to steal the moon
and I’ve been waiting to do it for you
But now I’m tired of that
I’m not gonna hold my breath
cos you still haven’t asked
I’m gonna go get that moon for me
  Jan 2019 Elioinai
Wanderer
Artists are often
broken people
using the fragments of themselves
to create something new
and although
being healed
feels so complete
sometimes i want to be broken again
sometimes i want open wounds
so i can use the blood
to paint sunsets
so i can use the torn off pieces of skin as a canvas
so i can carve
masterpieces with the jagged bones left behind
but I can't bring myself to break my own heart in the name of Art
Elioinai Jan 2019
No
I tend to swallow it whole
and it shatters
like a lightbulb in my throat
the shards drop down to slice my stomach
All I can do is pray for relief
gasping and choking
as I struggle to communicate what happened
the doctor knows it’s only for my mental benefit
to put my thoughts in order
He sees all with X-ray vision
and already has administered the remedy
I found out something very disturbing about loved ones of mine today. I know they are ok now, even if a certain trauma remains unresolved. But the shock and horror wounds me deeply. The effects of sin upon the soul can be so devastating. I was not the abused, and yet I feel so horrible about it. I’m trying to focus on the fact that God is healing my loved ones and that they are really ok right now.
Elioinai Jan 2019
I never run from pain
but do I hide my face from it?
Elioinai Dec 2018
I see a lot of people calling this year crazy
But I’m not among them
My year was not crazy
well . . .
I know some people who might call it that
but they live such quiet, boring lives
I lived life high
So High
my highest yet
As heavy as my heart still is
It’s a thousand times lighter than last year
and I know it is but tremors of the coming days ahead
What flight is in my future?
How wide will my wings yet be?
Thank you, 2018, for the belated joy and confidence
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