I’ll live my life in a way that
no people will notice my absence
that no people will care about my presence

I’ll live my life in a way
I’m just a floating spirit -
I’ll come and go, just like the rain

Rain because
I still want be to
of a certain burden;

Rain because
you’ll still see traces of me
even though I’ve stopped coming

And then
I’ll evaporate
no longer nuisance

But I’ll remind you
from time and again
through my resonance

And on certain days
you will love me

And on most days after
you will miss me better

It’s late at night and
You feel it coming,
The nausea, the pain.
Like a knife being twisted in your stomach.

You curl into a ball, fearing what is to come.
There is no hope, it’s happening.
The shivers, the tears.
Immense fear.

You clench your teeth,
Telling yourself you aren’t crazy.
Everything will be okay.
Won’t it?

No.
It will never be okay.
The shaking continues, you throw the covers off.
You sweat, you freeze, you cry for it to stop.

Relief doesn’t come easy.
Your muscles tighten, and your
Thoughts are running at full speed.
You cry for help, but your calls are silent.

If only you could sit up,
Reach a hand out for your pills.
But do they really help?
You think they do.

You’ve lost full control.
Numb limbs can’t be told what to do.
A crying mind can’t be silenced,
And the attacks can’t ever be stopped.