My brother softly told me that he doesn't want to die,
I whispered that I wanted him to live,
Together we cried tears, which were not capable of cleansing our hearts of the pain
In this moment we addressed the elephant filling the room...
Cancer

I want to disappear  
Get ****** into a black hole
Where I will be suspended
So I can sleep
And maybe not wake up

On the good days, I smile when I wake up,
I enjoy the sunshine and the breeze,
I thrive with productivity and eat healthy

But on the dark days, my bed can be my only companion
My body aches
And every breath fills me with regret
Because I am just not good enough

I strayed into the darkness, because it whispered sweet promises to me
Footstep after footstep, I was enveloped by sticky black sludge
It seeped into my skin, making me content with my unhealthy companion

Then you came into my life, making the slimy darkness retreat
I smiled for what felt like the first time and I wondered why I strayed from the sunshine
Now you hold me with tenderness and I soak in the warmth you provide me with

You held a lantern to my heart and now each beat within my chest sings of gratitude
I am dazzled by you
And the love light you shine upon me

Your body feels like it is covered in butterflies,
Like every moment I touch it, could be fleeting
That you could disappear within seconds
Your presence feels misleading,

I am holding onto the clothesline of words,
You strung together, for me to hang my hopes on,
Wanting just to be strong, I smile
But who am I trying to convince...

We both know, I would be lost without my butterfly prince

He stays, I push, a game of give and take,
This love tests his every instinct
To run from trouble,
Yet he stays

Standing tall, my insecurities and anxieties fear him
He loves me through it all
And I try explain to him how much it means,
But how can I find the right words to thank
The only one who didn't fear this side of me