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Jan 2018 · 143
a dream.
Erin Brown Jan 2018
It wasn't just a hug.
It was soft, warm and comfortable.
I was myself and he was too.
Standing in silence holding each other like we do it everyday.
His big grey hoodie connected with my scrawny arms.
We were safe and I was happy.
As I melted into him, I never knew I could love someone so much.
I had a dream and this was the outcome . . .
Jan 2018 · 372
the start.
Erin Brown Jan 2018
I want to be out of the house.
I want to be able to do anything on my own.
I want to make my own decisions.
I want to make my own mistakes.
I have learned from you for too long.
It is time for me to find my own path.
To start my own journey.
So I can be happy.
So I can be free.
Nov 2017 · 246
poverty.
Erin Brown Nov 2017
Strange stares from across the street?
Nothing I can do about that but just take a seat.
I try and try just to get by
But instead I get judged and criticized from that guy.
These people around me create my backstory
Making me unsatisfactory.
Don’t ask me if I steal,
Don’t ask me if I deal.
I want to keep safe, before it’s too late,
But I guess I will just have to wait.
I am sorry for anyone who is struggling through homelessness. My love is sent to you and your families. Please be aware of the people around you because you never know who could get hurt.
Sep 2017 · 228
Cut me loose.
Erin Brown Sep 2017
I love you.
No wait, I hate you.
Why do you have me feeling this way?
Your bipolar disease is having an affect on me.
I do not like it.
But I love it.
See there you go again.
I am tied around your finger waiting for you to cut me loose.
Of course you wouldn't do that though because your selfish.
Also cute.
And rude.
And persuasive.
Ahh what joy young love brings us all.
Jul 2017 · 163
Lies.
Erin Brown Jul 2017
You play hide and go seek with your little telephone.
While I sit here at night all on my own.
The whispers I hear when I walk by your room,
Then stop when you here me but then soon will resume.
-I am just as confused as you are-
Jun 2017 · 157
No longer there.
Erin Brown Jun 2017
I would talk to her everyday knowing that she would listen.
I would cry, smile and she was always there to support me.
But then, it was different.
I no longer felt her with me.
I felt afraid.
But I knew it had to be done.
I am glad that she is happy.
Knowing that, I believe I can do this on my own.
Erin Brown Jun 2017
There are only a few that do not take the chance to find love.
They are too impatient so they risk their own lives.
This causes them to never find out what would have gone right for them.
Personally, I do not believe in love, but I am still going to take that chance to find the "person of my dreams".
Sure call me clique, but who cares?
We all do it.
At least for the most part.
How I see it is that there is only a 50/50 percent chance that you live happily ever after.
Did you know that there are more than just one soulmate depending on what decisions you decipher?
They only downfall is that not everyone gets so lucky.
They make mistakes, never find the one, or are so caught up in the attention that they are receiving, that they get think that they are in true love.
So let me ask you.
Are you willing to take that leap of hope to find true love?
Or are you going to take the safest yet most dangerous route just to find solidarity?
Just because you don't believe doesn't mean that it isn't true.
May 2017 · 166
Dear Reader,
Erin Brown May 2017
When I looked at you, everything else seemed to disappear.
When I touched you, it is like I have never felt something so similar in my life.
When you held me, I felt safe like no-one could come near us.
But then,
You moved away.
I could have gone with you but you made it seem so hard.
You made me feel trapped in this small town with nothing to do.
I was scared and lonely because you were not there to protect me.
I was so mad and angry at you for so long.
You made me feel weak inside and out.
But then you came back.
I was finally able to see myself again.
I was finally able to see that spark.
But remembering how you made be feel without you was too much.
I couldn't bare myself to get attached to you one more time.
So I'm sorry to do this again, but I hope for the best.
Love,
The one you lost before
May 2017 · 139
It is your life.
Erin Brown May 2017
How is it that one can control someones life, but also be able to have their own destiny?
The feeling of pressure and sadness by another can lead you into depression.
Everyone has a choice on how they want to live their life.
They just do not know it yet and can't seem to figure out how.
Your life is like a blank canvas.
You do not know what to paint until you get a little inspiration.
Someone can make you happy and lead you into doing what you have always wanted to do.
Someone can make you sad and this then leads you into a lifetime of grief.
Knowing your boundaries and your weaknesses can help you become a better person as well as to being able to fulfill the life that you have always dreamed of.
Don't let other people control who you are.
May 2017 · 530
My true love.
Erin Brown May 2017
Always imagining what it will be like when I finally find "the one".
We find our true love by the paths that we take.
Not by fate,
Not by blood.
We find our second half by following what we think is right.
So I ask myself, when it will happen for me?
Of course not till long because I am still a kid you see.
People in movies and books find their love when they are in desperate need.
So I ask you, where is my prince charming?
Am I just too stupid to see him?
Or am I too afraid of what they may say?
I hope I find you one day.
And when I do,
I hope you will love me for who I am.
I hope all of you find your happily every after <3.
May 2017 · 129
Pressure.
Erin Brown May 2017
The feeling of being crammed in a box.
Afraid of what others may say.
You may think that I am okay,
But really I'm scared.
I feel helpless.
Like I'm in a hole that has no end.
May 2017 · 155
Are you sure we are safe?
Erin Brown May 2017
I want to talk to you but I am afraid.
I know you are too lazy to help so what is the point?
The others don't think it is a big deal since they have lived through something so similar.
But now, we grow up in a different time which means a different way of dealing with things.
How come you don't think ahead?
You know that one day it will happen again.
So why wait and get comfortable?
We both know that once we settle in, it will all come crashing down.
I feel as though I am misplaced and no one can see what is hiding.
My personality has changed and has made me more self aware of what people can do.
I know that if we leave now, it will all be so confusing.
But at least then we would know that everything will be okay.
May 2017 · 208
Untitled
Erin Brown May 2017
I will never graduate.
I will never be able to have a family.
I won't get my first kiss.
I won't loose my virginity.
I won't be able to live on my own,
Or even get my first pay check.
I won't go to college.
I will never fall in love.
I would never get married,
Or have kids for that matter.
The last food I will ever have is cereal.
The last day I would see my family.
The last time I had a laugh.
All because of you.
Your stupid games and the scares you bring on our community.
You think you won't get caught.
You think that this time it will be different.
Others are joking, spreading rumors to help you get noticed.
You think this is funny don't you?
It won't be soon when you get locked up.
-You never know what they are thinking-
May 2017 · 171
Social Media.
Erin Brown May 2017
You post these comments so people will feel sorry for you.
These people that see what is happening to you scares them.
I know you are hurting but this is not the way to express how you feel.
Get help.
Don't sit around and get even more hurt and stressed than what you already are.
I know life may **** right now, but it is not the end of the world.
Your life is still ahead of you.
Why give up now when God created you for a reason?
These people that see you as weak think that you are crazy.
Do you want that label?
I may not know what you're going through, but at least I can try.
Tell me what is wrong and I will help.
Others that see your post won't care.
Talk to people that want to help.
When you find those people, don't let go of them.
-Don't be afraid to ask for help-
May 2017 · 622
Gossip Girl.
Erin Brown May 2017
You say you love her but then you talk behind her back?
I wonder why you still talk to her if you promised to stay away.
You were supposed to do this for me, but I guess you wouldn't understand.
But I thought you would since you have been through this trouble before.
I guess all you do is repeat what you have been taught.
I know you cheat to this game we play.
It is me against you but I never have a say.
You laugh, talk gossip and drink all night long.
"You promised me" I said, but it comes out so wrong.
I know we make mistakes but you continue to repeat them.
You say I am a brat but all you do is talk **** behind our backs.
I wish I knew what to say to you,
But it is hard for me cause I haven't got a clue.
Apr 2017 · 280
That Day.
Erin Brown Apr 2017
You have fed me lies my whole life.
I keep my emotions bottled up so you think I am okay.
I'm not.
I forgave you for what you did.
But that still does not mean I have forgotten.
Sketched in my brain like a map.
Untouched since that day.
I try and stay positive.
Being that happy go lucky kind of gal you "always" knew.
My friends do not know our secret.
That I have kept bottled up like a rocket ship.
Around you is when I remember, the hateful words you spat in my face.
So tell me one more time.
Do you love me?
Cause it sure as hell didn't seem like it.
-Sorry to burst your bubble sweetheart-
Apr 2017 · 134
Meant to be.
Erin Brown Apr 2017
I thought you were cute, and you thought the same.
Thinking that I would never get the chance to talk to you because I was too afraid.
Then one day, you decide to finally speak up.
Figuring out that you were not the guy I thought you were made me feel sad.
Wondering that if I was different, then maybe things could work out.
I knew from the beginning this was wrong.
We live in two different worlds that would never collide.
You have played with the weak and pretty.
I guess I know who you really are now.
Boy oh boy, you picked the wrong girl.
Because if you actually knew me, you would know that this would never work out for the good.
Apr 2017 · 178
One Sip.
Erin Brown Apr 2017
Red eyes,
***** mouth,
And a wickedness you cannot explain.
The touch of your harmful words have left me stunned.
I am lost.
Confused.
And without a whole.
The life I thought I once knew, now broken like an egg shell.
She said she would stop.
But who would have thought,
She did not.

— The End —