Next time you make an empty promise
Shatter it against the concrete
And rip open my flesh with the sharpest point,
Pour salt in my wounds
And leave me to rust.
And then tell me again
How it pains you to see me suffer.
Darling, all this time you were killing two birds
With one stone,
But since when can I fly?

When the girl, I loved, died,
I locked myself in her room
while her parents were in Arizona.

I went through her things
and found
**** photos;
A few where she seemed
ashamed
and a few where she
liked her body.
She had a gummy smile
and in others
she looked down at her *******
while having a blank expression.

I found empty
alcohol bottles.
Cheap bottles of wine
and a bottle of red,
stuffed with tissue paper.

Under her dresser
I found an unopened
letter she intended to
give the boyfriend before me,
where she admitted
to being ***** as a teenager
and how she hoped
it wasn't too much
baggage.

I threw out the photos
and
alcohol bottles,
but not the letter.

I don't know why but I kept it.
I occasionally read it,
because it's her,
and I love her.

I told my friend
and he called me a
Halomaker,
because I made sure
she was remembered
as an angel.

Being little was the best,
I didn't have any worries or stress,
But now my whole life is a mess.

Heartbreak happened at 15,
Crying every night,
Now I have no feelings.

It's that feeling when you finish crying,
And when you're done you have no feeling,
You stare at the wall afterwards- not moving, you feel empty and you don't care,
But it's so great not to care about anything.

All I want is to hold your hand and just kiss you once but that would be a mistake because i would be falling deeper and you would would leave me in the dust.

It's like you saw my insides,
You saw my aching pain,
You said all these nice and sweet thing,
Then you shut everything out
And then I knew you were pretending.

This roof over our heads can't make us a family.