I stagger through my days
Feeling nothing
Stuck in a state of numbness
Spreading from the inside out
And just once
I pray that the thing I get to feel
Something just as strong as my pain
Is something good

But I know that’s too much to ask
I know the only way out of the numb
Is through suffering further
Good things don’t happen
Not anymore
Not to me

What the **** do you do
When the pain cuts right through the medication

There’s ***** in the pantry
Everything hurts
An aching from soul to skin
Is the risk of someone noticing
Worth its kind offer?

Her cold hands reach towards the darkness
Longing for the relief that it offers
Fully aware it holds another kind of suffering
But anything would be better than the hell in her head

I’m not going to survive alone
I can go through the motions
I can push through the days
But in the quiet privacy of solitude
I’m faced with everything I hate
Staring back through the mirror
Looking into my cold, steel eyes
Everything I hate
Everything that makes me want to implode
I want to disappear

Without fail
Every single time it starts to feel
Like maybe the world isn’t out to get me
Like maybe I can actually live here
Like maybe I’m doing alright
Something comes around to remind me
How incredibly wrong I am