What if everything we know
Everything we ever learned
Was just a cover up
To protect us from the real world?

Would we want to learn the truth
Or hide inside our walls
Our limits
Because that’s all we’ve ever known

Would you enter the unknown
An abyss waiting to be discovered
Or would you try to stay confined
Inside the black and white guidelines set for you

As children, we are imaginative
We make our own games
Our own rules
Which are taken away as we are told to grow up

But “growing up” is not that simple
You are set to discover who you are
With no help
No guidelines

We are given choices
And most of us choose to stay who we’ve always been
While some of us venture
To discover who we can become
OUR limits

I chose to take the path of no return
I’ve been through hell and back
And I learn something new everyday
To the point where I feel my limit is endless

Until I realize that
This world is cruel
And when you seem to stand alone
You’re faced with the horrible reality

That people like you
Are killed off
For expressing themselves
Being different
Choosing their paths
Creeping away from the normal routes
That are chosen through blind eyes

We are an extinct species.
For the ones who chose to be unique,
Are exterminated
And forever gone

Why am I here?
Why do I have to endure all this crap
About ruining your life when really
It's just the other way around

We are told when we are young to be ourselves
But apparently my community never got the memo
They drag me down with every stereotype
Drowning out my voice until I stay silent

I don't really speak much about it anymore
I stay hidden
Keep my mouth shut
And I roll with the punches that cause scars on my skin

Because these scars will never heal
I carry every single negative comment
Every single joke
Every single punch line
With me
And I've started to crack

It's not long before I break
I've shattered before
But my friends have been the ones
To temporarily glue my pieces back together

Why can't people understand
That it's not a choice
You are born the way you are
And I can't and don't want to change

My friends support me
And my parents say they support me
But my mom won't even let me get pride shirts
Constricting my ability to show my pride in school.

I am proud!
I've overcome multiple obstacles
And I may be close to shattering
Where my pieces will fall one by one

I already have pieces that have fell
And shattered on impact with the ground
They will forever be missing
I will always have parts of me missing

So as I disintegrate into space
I ask that you all abuse me
Rather than the next girl
Because it's better to shatter something
That's almost broken anyway

Today is just another day
Another day to work
Another day to walk
Another day to try and continue breathing

I put on a smile
Yet I can't seem to find inspiration
A reason I need to get out of bed
A reason I need to talk at all

If I'm silent, people continue on
And I am pushed further into my night
The darkness in my head spreading like a disease
And one day I'll be infected

This disease isn't simple and has no cure
It is embedded in the strands of my brain
Trying to take over an *****
That has almost given up anyway

One day, you will talk to me and get a blank stare
And I won't have the passion, the sense
To push myself to say anything

This wasn't how it used to be
I've always had social anxiety
And talking never was my strong suit
But at least I tried

Yet the more I tried to be myself,
The more people pushed me away
Strangers, my friends, my family
They all seem to be using me as target practice
Finding the closest object to them that's different and executing it from existence

Well......fine
It probably wouldn't matter anyway right?
I mean, who cares about this nerd that stands before you?
......No one

And then, after the infection almost took over my body
I found her
The girl who made me smile
Made me want to live

She started talking to me
Saying I was beautiful, pretty, gorgeous
She made me feel something brighter
And for a moment I thought I'd be saved

But I was too close to the edge
And someone, from school, gave me the final push
And drove me over

The infection has spread
And my body is a limp puppet
No longer having a mind of its own
No will to live

She misses me
When I used to be brighter happier
But I no longer talk, or breathe
I'm forever gone and nobody cares.

Hello.
So it seems I have more victims
Who must hear my wailing cries.
Most people call me a murderer, the king of genocide
Yet I just see myself as a normal guy
Charismatic, charming
I make new friends every day
And yet they all never seem to learn that I am explosive
A bomb just waiting to be set off
I am destructive.

Most people know me by the time they're little kids
They know me by my worldwide popularity
Yet they believe they are immune to my insanity, my appearance
I come off as a joker
One who can't be taken seriously
Until I decapitate the ones you love
I am a monster

I take your children's lives from right underneath you
Yet I am not technically a murderer
When they cause the final blow
I cause millions of suicides a year
Because people think they are strong enough to do what I do
Follow in my footsteps
Deal with what I constantly live with
The irritable monotone life I live can drive even me crazy
Yet I am stronger, seeing that I've dealt with myself for eternity

But I seem to be dying
Very, very slowly
There are new ways to get away from me

Even when I'm publicized in the media
I am portrayed as evil, manipulative
But I am just being my own individual
So how can that be wrong?

After being the cause of millions of kid and adult deaths
I've realized that I must be stopped
So I ask you all here
Am I a murderer?
Am I the cause of mass genocide?
Or am I just a manipulative demon praying on the souls of children?

I am not a murderer
I am not the king of genocide
And I do not enjoy praying upon kids and teenagers
Yet it is in my nature to be a vulture

But most importantly,
My name is Depression.

619 Miles
9 hours and 38 minutes
The distance that separates myself and the girl
I can’t take my mind off of.
Because
It is said that for one person
There is another built to fit perfectly
Woven together on a planet of billions
A soul mate.
Now that is cheesy and completely absurd,
Especially for an asexual….
But I’ve never felt this way,
About anyone.
Especially not….a girl.
Heterosexuality has been the one term that has defined me
My whole life.
For 14 years I was sick at the idea of being anything but.
But that word is floating further into oblivion.
Echoes of my parent’s homophobic hatred.
Palms start to sweat as I blush like crazy,
Staring at a computer screen that has never been more important
My heart seems to leap out of my chest.
And, it is just so absurd for me to feel this way,
Because she is just so amazing,
And I am average at best.
But it is insane for me to care about her as much as I do.
Having known her for 24 hours
But she gets me, through each letter we seem to read unwritten messages.
As I get to learn more and more about her
The more I wish she was here.
Because she is the one girl I’d actually take the chance with
The one I wouldn’t be afraid to tell my parents about.
My chance to escape this closet I've hidden in my whole life,
And it is impossible to comprehend
How she could ever feel the same way.
Why she would ever feel the same way.
Because 9 hours and 38 minutes
The distance that separates myself and the girl
I can’t take my mind off of.