I never drank before I lost you, but I still feel you coursing through my veins.
Your lips fit my mouth better than the bottle ever will.
I tried replacing my blood with alcohol, so I wouldn't have to carry you around as a constant reminder of what I've lost.
I still feel you in the morning when I can barely feel myself.
I still feel your hand in mine when I drive alone at night with the windows down, music blasting.
I still feel every beat of your heart in my head and it just won't stop.

I took a blade to my skin to get rid of the alcohol -- Or was it to get rid of you?
Either way I'm still stuck thinking about you as I'm laying here bleeding to death.
"I'll never leave you." -- At least you kept your promise.

8/12/14
11:11- i wished you were here with me, holding me, whispering in my ear, telling me how you love me, and how you'll always keep me safe.
10/6/14
11:11- i wished i had never met you, so i wouldn't have to know what it feels like to lose you. i thought, i really believed, that you would have fought for me harder. that no matter what, you would do anything to be with me.
10/27/14
11:11- i didn't wish for anything tonight, because no matter how hard i wished for you before, it never came true. instead i'm just lying here, wondering how someone who caused me so much joy before, could cause me so much pain.