it's one a.m. and I'm laying in bed
curled up in the nice warm sweater we bought together
and wearing the lace underwear that you love so much
I'm listening to songs about love that is new
and I just wish that I could do all of this with you

i've missed too many opportunities
i'm afraid i don't have many left
i'm so terrified of ******* up that i do nothing at all
i've missed too many opportunities
but this time i'm gonna do it right
this time i'm not gonna run away
this time it's gonna work out okay

i am not gonna **** this one up

It's been a week without you here
and honestly it's killing me, my dear.

a years gone by since I realized I loved you
and everything has changed

a years gone by
and I finally don't love you

a years gone by
and I realized that maybe I never even loved you at all

a years gone by
and the idea of you still sounds great

a years gone by
but I don't really love YOU

a years gone by
and I've wasted it thinking about you

a years gone by
and I'm no longer filled with hope

a years gone by
and all I am is sad and confused  

a years gone by
and I'm still falling apart

a years gone by
and I'm still just as confused and afriad as I was on day one

a years gone by
and nothing's changed

a years gone by since I realized I loved you
and I still don't know what to do

sixteen thoughts from my sixteenth birthday

1. you're more beautiful than the sky

2. you're the smartest person I know

3. you understand

4. you make me happier than anyone else on earth

5. ******* you are beautiful

6. you treat me like a queen

7. I'd treat you like one too

8. I'll treat you a million times better than some ******* ever could

9. all I want to do is hold you and make sure you're alright

10. you're amazing

11. GOD I WANT YOU SO BAD

12. I THOUGHT I WAS OVER YOU BUT ******* IT IM NOT

13. EVERYTHING HAS GONE SPIRALING BACK

14. IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

15. BUT YOULL NEVER LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU AND THE PAIN IS COMING BACK AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

16. ******* IT WHY AM I STILL SO IN LOVE WITH YOU

IM IN LOVE AGAIN
WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT LOVE ME
I WANT HIM SO BAD IT PHYSICALLY HURTS
IT HURTS SO BAD
BUT I JUST GOT OVER AN UNREQUITED LOVE
I DONT WANNA DO IT AGAIN
NOT AGAIN
I CANT HANDLE ANYMORE OF THIS PAIN
I JUST WANNA BE FREE
I JUST WANNA BE OKAY
I JUST WANNA BE MYSELF AGAIN
IM NOT THE SAME WITH THIS PAIN
IM NOT THE SAME
I AM NOT OKAY
I AM NOT OKAY AGAIN
OH ******* IT
NOT AGAIN

i am no longer in love
and i cannot write poetry
i am no longer in love
and my inspiration is gone
i am no longer in love
but i am happy
i am no longer in love
and I've finally moved on
i am no longer in love
and i am proud of it
i am no longer in love
and i can finally start anew
i am no longer in love
but my writing has turned to ****
i am no longer in love
and i don't know what to do