She left me a gift bag
of coconut oil, expensive shampoo,
instant noodles, and bug spray.
Focus slips as she
presses her face to the bus window,
staring out at a town
she will never see again.
She believed the town was a prison
until I taught her
how to ride a motorbike.
Dodging ***-holes and stray dogs,
I clung for my life,
primed for purgatory-
whilst she screamed love ballads
at the top of her lungs,
believing that if she drove fast enough
she could make up for the time she had lost.
As ghosts appear
along the country roads of Kalasin,
the drumlins will be
a mere sequence of pixels
and Chinese whisper memories.
I smoke, lean on bad habits
across the fence of solitude I built
so meticulously by hand.
Another night spent drunk
under the stars – alone.
Desire spikes a fever in hindsight,
thoughts stray to her upper thighs,
blue eyes, and untouched lips.
I wonder whether reaching out
for somebody in the dark
would have been enough
to abate our bespoke
and desperate loneliness.
She left me as another moment
I let slip through my fingers.
A life-time spent
wringing my hands.
C