Emma: Favorites

Dec 2013 Emma

S Smoothie

Dare I confess the black stain on my soul?
No, rather, lets tuck it in conscience
No need to feel sickly an numb.*

Tuck it away my soulless one*

What if I could pull the hands back of time?

You can't sweety, it's done.

Can I make it fade?

I don't see how? It's a dark, dark stain,
And you've been trying so long now.

Even with all my good deeds?

There aren't enough good deeds
To wipe it clean, the lead in your soul
Forever drags your feet.

I don't deserve anything. Why do I go free?

Because you are destined.

Destined for what? A life of misery?

No dear, no, a life of greatness.
None of clear conscience strive
To erase me from their minds
As I would not exist,
and neither would the gift,
the necessity, the change.

But I don't understand?

Your stain is a gift,
The journey of the holy grail.
Where others strive and fail,
You have already failed now strive.

But I failed?

You have failed, but now is hope;
The ever charging fuel of your journey.

My soul is ****** isn't it?

You have nothing to lose,
this is the secret of life's journey

But what of hell? Surely it waits?
I hear it screaming my penance?

Hell? You're already here,
Perhaps one day, you'll make it out?

You think so?

It's possible but
I'm your conscience...
What do I know?
I only know why I exist
And I in turn, wish I loved my existence

So there's no hope?

There's always hope,
I'm still with you aren't I?

Yes, but I don't understand?

You don't need to.
Just keep hope, and in us,
Never forget where we've come from;
You are destined

But I am stained?

*No, you are marked for greatness.

Dec 2013 Emma

Untitled

Dec 2013 Emma

Michaela Moffett

Untitled

Grasping who you are…
Is like no other feeling…
It’s as if you feel nothing but your heart does…
It’s as if you're whole but you know that you’re not
You feel nothing but this strange, desperate feeling in your heart.
And as you wait for the missing piece,
It will seem like forever
Eternity even
The day you felt lonely
Or the week that dragged on forever
Or your once favorite pair of jeans,
that never changed but just don’t seem to have the same effect.
Or your favorite meal, that just didn’t taste good
Or that rainy day that you hated
Or when your favorite song that never seemed to leave your head… did
Or the year you lost your appetite
And even your friends.
It’s all for a reason.
But you think otherwise...
Feeling the depression
Letting the sadness sink in,
You think
Maybe you lost yourself
In the mess of your childhood
Or in the mess of your head,
Then comes the hatred…
Unwelcomed,
But
Lightly knocks,
Pin-pointing it at first,
Then spiraling down all at once,
Your life *****,
Your life *****.
The numbness won’t leave
These jeans just won’t quit
This weathers too much
This song is just annoying
Sorry mom I’m not hungry
Why does no one like me?
Then comes the answers
Or so you thought
No eating
Just bleeding
And listening to rock
You’re used to it all by now,
You’ve shut yourself out,
mom go away.
You’re now addicted to your pain,
That when you feel anything but,
You freak out and want that cut.
You fight the urge,
Scared that someone will see
It’s getting out of control
No mom let me be.
I’m fine
I’m fine
Just tired that’s all
Using excuses from your childhood
And from the mess in your head
You’ve developed anxiety
And you’ve let your life spiral out of control
You’re now broken, and lost
But isn’t that just what this is?
You feel nothing but your heart does,
You know you’re whole but you’re not,
There’s a strange desperate feeling
From the missing piece
And that’s all.
You’ve forgotten your roots
In this materialistic world
Gotten ****** up in gossip
Now forever and alone
Lost I am lost

Dec 2013 Emma

sunday mornin'

Dec 2013 Emma

Luce

sunday mornin'

it's past four am
and i bet you're sleeping
peacefully
in the next room
but everybody in here is snoring
if only i could hear you snoring
because i'm sure it will still be soothing
if it's coming from you.

but today
you touched my hand
and it was such a simple movement
but i couldn't breathe
but i couldn't focus
and i laughed when you laughed
because i wasn't listening
to the conversation
Just communicating with your hands

today
i could smell you
raw and pure
As you pressed my head
into your chest

and, oh lord, i swear i can smell him through these walls

(or maybe it's your smell clinging to my t-shirt liKe i'm clinging so desperately to the thought of you)

and i'm on this cold sofa
and your warm arms are so close
but not close Enough

and it's past four am
and i want you
so innocently
to just hold me
let me listen to your heartbeat
to steady mine

and it's past four am
and i still think you're beautiful
when you're tired
and your sleepy eyes are my favourite
in their darkened shade of blue

i woke up around four am
and looked instantly to where you were
before
and it's shock
because you're gone
because i couldn't watch you sleep
and you couldn't steady my thoughts with your very presence

and it's past four am
and i'd love you to walk back in here
and take me by the hand
and just hold me close to you
and let me sleep away the nightmares.

because i would treasure every **** second

it's five am
and i'm still awake
and you're still beautiful and
endlessly fascinating
(i'm begging for sleep so i can see you sooner)
and you're way out of my league
and it's all just pointless daydreams

but you touched my hand.

Dec 2013 Emma

Broken Again

Dec 2013 Emma

-

Broken Again

Loving you drove me to the edge
And now I seem to have relapsed
Devotion put me to the test
It caused a major collapse

You broke me again
Just like I knew you would
All of this pain because
You were hard not to love

© Natali Veronica 2013.

I hate myself so much right now.

Dec 2013 Emma

Title are just titles and I cannot think

Dec 2013 Emma

Sid Eli A

Title are just titles and I cannot think

Grasping my breath, over time
time, is so slow and I just want to
see you
I just want to
touch you
I just want to
breathe you

Looking into the screen, that are mirror images of us
Is she there? Is she looking for me? Is she real?
I could feel her thoughts, filled with passion and full of excitement
heart pounding, wanting and yearning to dig my nails
into her unbruised skin
wanting and knowing she would be at my feet in heart beat

whatever is damaged, I will heal
because we're all damaged in some way

It was told to me that maybe we're all alone for a reason
That there's something wrong
blood related family, it was us three
single hearts with drifting minds

Now I could say, that lonely person
Isn't me
and I just found
the key

Dec 2013 Emma

This Would Be Funnier If It Wasn't True

Dec 2013 Emma

Mikaila

This Would Be Funnier If It Wasn't True

The first time I kissed you
My head spun.
It kept spinning all night.
I've never had to be careful about someone
Like this
But when you kiss me
I need to remind myself that
Breathing
Is a thing.
I'm serious.
I am getting better at remembering
That you are not all there is
But there is still this one moment
When you first lean in
And I
See stars
And I realize
I have lost my sense of everything except you
Including me.
And I pull myself back a little,
Not because I care what happens to me
Not really
But because I want to keep kissing you
And to do that
It's possible I'll need air.

Dec 2013 Emma

Aspiring

Dec 2013 Emma

Kendall

Aspiring

Maybe that is all we are
Modern day poets and writers
Amateur story tellers using different canvases
Lost souls trying to express themselves through ink
Broken hearts trying to cleanse themselves in blood
The stories are always made from the same elements, though
Pain, heartache, a little bit of hopelessness
Maybe a shred of light in the face of an abyss
And then it is all over.

Dec 2013 Emma

Hereditary

Dec 2013 Emma

Nikki Whittaker

Hereditary

The fact of the matter is I'm tired.  I'm absolutely and positively exhausted.  Each day I wake and lay in bed to question if getting up is really that important, if I really need to attend that politics class.
You were tired too.  You laid in bed for hours, days, weeks, and never thought maybe you should go to work.  You weren't worried about the groceries that were dwindling in the fridge.  All you wondered was if Rapunzel and her golden hair could heal you of your pain.
She couldn't.
What makes me tired is that when you finally did rise up out of your bed, you walked out the door.  I never saw you again.  Funny, you woke up to leave me.  I guess I should be proud in some sick, bittersweet way.  Maybe I should applaud you for gathering all your strength to do what you actually wanted to do since I was a child.  Blame me for the emptiness in your heart.  I'm the one who showed up and disrupted your peace.  Send me to sleep at night for me to wake to no one in the morning.  Then I can lie in bed forever.
I'm also tired of hating you, of being so mad at you that my heart starts to boil inside me.
The fact of the matter is you hurt me.  Sometimes I go to Rapunzel and ask for her golden hair but I can't bring myself to even look her in the eye.  Because now I am you.  The very essence of your cold and   sad being has entered into my veins and I feel like giving up.  Just like you.
Maybe one day I won't be tired anymore.  Then, I can get up and leave all the ones I love. Yes, maybe one day I'll have children to run away from and break them at the core.

After all, isn't it every girls dream to be like mommy?

Dec 2013 Emma

Surging (Haiku)

Dec 2013 Emma

Amanda In Scarlet

Surging (Haiku)

Waves crash over me
The sea surges, ecstasy
Drowned in dark desires.